Day 64:
I had a job interview this morning, that I felt went quite well. It was short, but sweet. It will be good for me to get a job and get out of my room.
I'm feeling a little bit invisible today, and people have been a little hostile towards me. I've experienced this before when GSF is being worked on... Also feeling a bit hopeless in regards to women. It feels like modern women are so bitchy and stuck up.. I don't even want to play that game. I just want authentic connection, no bullshit. Fears of not being good enough are also present with these feelings.
Day 68:
- I've been feeling a bit paranoid the last few days. Like everyone hates me or something. Could be a fear of being an outsider/different in a bad way. I know have some negative beliefs around that. Alternatively, dogs have been really friendly towards me, even my friend said it was really obvious. Weird.
- Feeling a lot of anger and resentment towards women. It comes and goes. Yesterday I didn't even want to look at girls, but today I felt really sexual and had some nice eyes with some hotties. My feelings are a bit confused atm.
Day 73:
Hmm. So, the last few days have been a bit weird. Nothing overly positive happening, still feeling emotional turmoil but today it seems to have lessened somewhat.
The other day I was hanging out with a friend and I noticed she was seeking validation in a few different ways and I just wasn't giving it to her. I was kind of an asshole but not really... It's like I wasn't laughing at her jokes when they weren't funny or agreeing with the sake of agreeing. Sounds minor but it's an improvement for me. Feeling more honest and upfront.
Been a bit depressed, angry etc. This feeling comes around when the program starts digging away at something.
(10-01-2016, 08:50 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 73:
Hmm. So, the last few days have been a bit weird. Nothing overly positive happening, still feeling emotional turmoil but today it seems to have lessened somewhat.
The other day I was hanging out with a friend and I noticed she was seeking validation in a few different ways and I just wasn't giving it to her. I was kind of an asshole but not really... It's like I wasn't laughing at her jokes when they weren't funny or agreeing with the sake of agreeing. Sounds minor but it's an improvement for me. Feeling more honest and upfront.
Been a bit depressed, angry etc. This feeling comes around when the program starts digging away at something.
Hey bliss,
It seems you are growing more comfortable with honesty and openness, which is a positive direction. I still feel that I can only be honest with people who can understand, like Jack Nicholson I feel that some people can't handle the truth. I'm hoping that in time I'll learn not to care about what "those" people think.
Anyways, I read some of your inspiring OGSF journal and was wondering if you feel now, months later, that doing a run of OGSF has set up a good foundation for the other subs?
The thing is some subs like E2 and LTU have such a broad coverage that I'm not sure if I will see results soon as compared to a more focused sub like OGSF. I know the E2 has OGSF in it but because it has so much going on it may take many more months as all sorts of issues get sorted out.
Love to get your thoughts on this.
(10-02-2016, 03:09 AM)pseudonyman Wrote: [ -> ] (10-01-2016, 08:50 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 73:
Hmm. So, the last few days have been a bit weird. Nothing overly positive happening, still feeling emotional turmoil but today it seems to have lessened somewhat.
The other day I was hanging out with a friend and I noticed she was seeking validation in a few different ways and I just wasn't giving it to her. I was kind of an asshole but not really... It's like I wasn't laughing at her jokes when they weren't funny or agreeing with the sake of agreeing. Sounds minor but it's an improvement for me. Feeling more honest and upfront.
Been a bit depressed, angry etc. This feeling comes around when the program starts digging away at something.
Hey bliss,
It seems you are growing more comfortable with honesty and openness, which is a positive direction. I still feel that I can only be honest with people who can understand, like Jack Nicholson I feel that some people can't handle the truth. I'm hoping that in time I'll learn not to care about what "those" people think.
Anyways, I read some of your inspiring OGSF journal and was wondering if you feel now, months later, that doing a run of OGSF has set up a good foundation for the other subs?
The thing is some subs like E2 and LTU have such a broad coverage that I'm not sure if I will see results soon as compared to a more focused sub like OGSF. I know the E2 has OGSF in it but because it has so much going on it may take many more months as all sorts of issues get sorted out.
Love to get your thoughts on this.
Hey man, thanks for checking out my journal.
Hmm.. Well I reached a point where I felt like nothing was really happening with OGSF. Looking back now, it was probably resistance causing me to want to change subs. I changed to ASC and that showed me I needed more healing hence LTU.
Out of OGSF and LTU, I would recommend LTU. You are right, it takes a bit longer to get moving due to covering so much ground (even at 70+ days I feel I'm only really getting started). But it's such a good foundation. I'm gonna run it for a year (at least). It has also been more of an emotional roller coaster than OGSF. A lot of changes are taking place, I can feel it.
I hope that helps man
Day 81 (just realised I miss counted):
It's been a very interesting last few days. For those who have followed my journals, you would know I have a dysfunctional relationship with food. I've had this ever since I was very young. About a week ago, I started to feel really fatigued, like I would wake up exhausted and barely have the energy to get to the supermarket and back. No passion for life, just feeling very scared about my health tbh. I'm only 25... To put it in context, my daily diet consisted of - 2 kgs of fruit, coffee, chocolate, 2 litres of milk, and no dinner. I had a look on the Internet and realised I have been eating way too much sugar, and I may have candida overgrowth or even diabetes.
About 3 days I reached a point of rock bottom, feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life, and made some necessary changes to my life style; less fruit, less coffee, more green vegetables, eating good protein, apple cider vinegar to lower my blood sugar, and also detoxing my body.
It's been 3 days since I've started eating healthier and I honestly feel like a new man. I feel fucking amazing. Happy, horny, confident, almost to the point of cockiness. My (girl) friend can't keep her hands off me, she's definitely feeling a difference in vibe. I'm much more dominant with her.
Day 85:
Almost at 3 months.
- I'm still eating better. Still tweaking my diet and figuring out new foods to add etc. Going well.
- I'm feeling more motivated to take charge of my life. A few days ago, I had planned to stay at my mums house in the country for a few months (as an escape), but now I feel more like staying in the city and getting to work.
- Noticing more attraction from women. I imagine it's because I have less inhibitions, and I'm expressing my self more freely.
- This one coincides with the eating, but increased desire to go to the gym. The only thing stopping me was my lack of energy. That's changing.
- Overall less fear in general. Lots of emotional dreams, nightmares etc. Lots of internal shifting is taking place.
Day 86:
- Got laid! Busted all kinds of nutzzzzz
(10-12-2016, 05:12 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 86:
- Got laid! Busted all kinds of nutzzzzz
What's the story?!?!?!?
(10-12-2016, 05:12 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 86:
- Got laid! Busted all kinds of nutzzzzz
Thats it guys! LTU is the Key!
(10-12-2016, 05:20 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (10-12-2016, 05:12 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 86:
- Got laid! Busted all kinds of nutzzzzz
What's the story?!?!?!?
Well, she's a friend of mine. Cute little Filipino girl, just turned 19. Nice petite body. Last couple weeks there's been serious sexual tension though, LTUs bringing out some dominant traits in me, I can tell she's been feeling it. I swear LTUs shifted something major in me because her vibe towards me has changed a lot from 'just friends' to her being all over me, saying how cocky I am and how I'm such a bad boy (she totally loves it). She even agreed to a threesome in the future too.
I invited her over to mine and just went for it.
EDIT: Last night ended a year long dry spell.
(10-12-2016, 05:12 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 86:
- Got laid! Busted all kinds of nutzzzzz
Didn't see that coming..
Day 90:
I just got back from the doctor. Health has gotten worse. I'm so fatigued, waking up exhausted, body feels like it's falling apart. This has been affecting my mood significantly, feeling very depressed. Getting blood tests tomorrow, and hopefully I'm ok.
As for LTU, I've noticed people have been quite nice to me today. Even in my lowest of moods, people seem quite friendly towards me.
(10-16-2016, 07:17 PM)bliss Wrote: [ -> ]Day 90:
I just got back from the doctor. Health has gotten worse. I'm so fatigued, waking up exhausted, body feels like it's falling apart. This has been affecting my mood significantly, feeling very depressed. Getting blood tests tomorrow, and hopefully I'm ok.
As for LTU, I've noticed people have been quite nice to me today. Even in my lowest of moods, people seem quite friendly towards me.
I feel like we missed something. You were feeling like a new man then you busted all kinds of nutz...Now this?!
