Dreams
Last night i had one of the most violent dreams. I was essentially running around a random house and absolutely destroying everyone inside. W
Stage 1 Conclusion:
Last day of Stage 1 is tomorrow, but I doubt I am going to get anything game changing on the last day so I'll recap today.
Positives:
Body language: I am more aware of how I am walking. In the past, everyone I spoke to always commented on the way I walked. They say I had a type of swagger to my walk. Now I am more conscious of it and it feels natural.
Positive but Inconsistent:
Sociability: Some days I am down in the dumps but other days I can flow from person to person and talk to people. It is shallow small talk but it feels better than just being a fly on the wall and do nothing.
Vocal tonality: Some days my voice is assertive and projects well. Some days it doesn't, and I am reduced to the quiet, and soft spoken me.
Negatives:
Definitely not sure if it is an AM6 thing, but I sometimes felt alienated from a group. Like I don't belong or a group seems very clique-y.
Stage 2 day 1
Tired after listening to the sub. Afterwards i wanted to skipp the gym, but my mind kept repeating that every action or inaction is reinforcing a habit. This means by skipping out on the gym, i am reinforcing the habit of not going ti the gym. So I had to practically push myself to hit the gym.
I also woke up feeling depressed about not feeling accepted by a group and fearing that i wont be accepted by anyone. Afterward I realized that it's fine to not to be.l accepted by everyone.
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Edit: Got the sales job! Supposed to do direct sales aka Approach people and try to sell the service.
Stage 2 day 4
This stage is an absolute energy vampire. I wake up super drained, and I feel like death. Otherwise I don't feel different.
Stage 2 focuses on being dominant and assertive - pretty much bringing out your alpha qualities. Enjoy the stage.
Dreamed of just violent fighting... since Im playing Dark Souls 3, I was fighting a guy with full Havel the Rock Armor. It was strange because there was an element of fear, and going through that fear.
Am6 dreams
first one, became a brute of a person,and started to brat up other bullies, and display how dominant i am by fighting and overpowering these guys. AM programming is rooting itself inside my mind
Second one, comes right after and starts with my close female friend telling me to run away. Being the guy that i am, i dont and was treated to a cabin in the woods s***-hitting-the-fan demons and robots massacre.
IRL
A woman in my office are rather friendly and kept trying to talk to me. Shes married and not my demographic.
A girl closer to my age just stared me for 10-15 second and then left work the office for the day. Granted it was a small office and i didnt have a desk but i was fine.
Day 6
After hanging out with some club members, i had fun, and a great time. I realized the alienation feeling is in my head all the time. I guess I am beginning to feel more secure.
Day 7
After reading up on the various journals, I have seen some iterations of "Alpha", and it helped me find out more of what I want out of the program. I came in with AM6 thinking of wanting to be more attractive to a couple of women I am attracted to. Now I want to be more mature, more mentally, and emotionally healthier. Developing organic and healthy friendships and relationships are also a plus.
To put it bluntly, I rather grow emotionally and mentally healthier than take in toxic programming.
I feel extremely driven to improve myself and look forward my job training. Direct sales is something completely new, and I am scared but excited to learn the skills in selling. As such, I really don't give a f*** about one of my classes. It gives me no practical value besides being a pre-requisite for my diploma.
I listened to the Art of Charm, and I found out about Gary Vaynerchuk. I want to learn and embody his work ethic and talent.
Sudden Urge to purge myfacebook of people I don't talk to anymore or people I am not interested in knowing. Cant kill off social media entirely because most of the social events are posted on facebook.
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Edit: Now It makes me feel like I have too many shallow friends and not enough close ones.
+Started mindfulness meditation, and it has been going well. I think Im getting there with the whole "Clearing your mind". Some days It feels like i am fighting my mind, some days its very harmonious.
+Intense focus on the things I do give a shit about. This might be the meditation or the 4 cans of double-shot expresso( lol)
+ Been thinking about my goal as a person and I think AM6 is pushing me to be unapologetically authentic with myself. I started looking at my past failures and thought about it as if it was a chemistry thing. If they dont like my authentic self then I would be miserable if I actually got in.
+I began reading #AskGaryvee, and the first chapter explains priorities in a cool way. He described it as "The sky and Dirt". The Sky is the big picture principles, and the dirt is the hustle that you do. Stick to those and the rest will follow.
+ As such, I began lifting again and basically abused myself. It was a tough Lower Body workout.
Yeah, trying to fit in is not an alpha quality