Stage 3 Day 18:
I approach 2 girls last Sunday. I was eating an ice cream when 2 girls came in the ice cream shop, they said hi to me. While choosing their ice cream one of the girl was looking at me a lot, the other one seems more confident, she look at me too but more out of curiosity it seems, she even smiled but it was more because she was having fun with her friend. After that they went to sit outside which didn't seem to make sense. It was the confident girl choice and the more attracted one behaved like she wanted to stay because she look in my direction before leaving.
So after 3 mins I decided to go talk to them. I told them I found them pretty and I wanted to talk with them. Right away the confident girl told me they were both taken. I told them I'm surprised because they doesn't seem to be the way they behaved. After that it was casual conversation, but the less confident was still looking at me with a fascinated look, it wasn't fear I think but she wasn't her normal self for sure. After 5 minutes the confident one said they had to leave which was a big lie. I decided to not pursue any further because I really think they weren't single.
Well to me I did my part as a man so I have no regret. Women seems to be more attracted since a week but not a strong as the other stage. I'm also not that interested in women right now, more to develop my masculine side.
Stage 3 day 26:
I feel different, I honestly don't know what's happening inside. This stage feel like a self focus interest, self development, looking inside, peaceful, gentle, growing my male side maybe.
I made some connection with at least 4 women online, I talked a lot with them, especially 2 of them. I rejected one because she wanted to wait 1 month before meeting due to some school exam (not a good excuse)
The first I talked has a kid already but she could be a sincere friend, curiously I like her as a friend though I would f** her if it is appropriate and if it doesn't hurt our friendship.
The second one was attractive and we seems to appreciate each other a lot. We shared a lot of details and it seems to be genuine. I thought she was really genuine because what she told me fit her astrological profile, even her physical characteristic fit. So at some point I decided to meet the next day. She was an hour late and I was already somewhere else, she didn't even apologies until I told her she was an hour late. When I told her to come where I was she told me that she had to go see her grandma, some urgency
another lie it seems. She was an hour late because she had to clean her car according to her (first lie).
This is the 4th time something like this happened to me on SM3 although this is the first time I can set up a date. What's even more strange is that I don't think this is an Ex playing with me because the story couldn't be so perfect and elaborated. I think this girl was just crazy or maybe it was really an Ex playing with me but I don't think so because the app I was using to chat with her really showed that someone was here one hour later.
She told me both her parents died so maybe she is really crazy or was trying to manipulate me. When I told her she could have warned me she didn't replied anymore but she got back online a few times during the night. I'm certainly not going to set up a date with her again if she ask for one later as I think she will do, too much red flag even if sex really happen. Though I'm more looking for a girl that I can connect to and fuck for a long period, not just one night and gone.
The 3rd one has a similar pattern also, we talk for a long time the first day but then she went offline for a long period, then only replying with one word or very few. Which is a complete contradiction of how she was behaving at first. Again her astrological profile seems to fit so I don't think she is a fake or someone very intelligent is playing with me but I don't think it's possible. She is not that pretty, and seems really sad, but I like her personality. I set up a date for Saturday but I have little hopes about her, plus she is a bit sick and not on a good period so I think I'm just going to be friends for now unless she is really into me, I don't want to drag her down.
So out of all this nothing for now, and the weather is really bad right now so there is little opportunities to go out and when I'm out there is very few people around. Last time I was out some girl seems to be attracted and curious. I'm no experiencing any resistance, but it's like nothing is really happening on this stage at least in term of result or attraction, I feel like I'm doing AM6 stage 1, my patience is back though so I was able to read at least 2 books since this stage.
I had an amazing time reading this website, they collect casual sex story, it's really interesting to read:
http://casualsexproject.com/about/
Keep going Alpha, stage 3 was for me also exactly like you described, nothing just some inner stuff that you can not know or described. I even thought the program stopped working. Stage 4 was not much better and now i am on stage 5 and the craziness of the first two pages is slwoly back. I am still first week of stage 5. I will let you know how it is going.
Stage 3 day 30:
I'm tired of this stage, it's boring, it's like there is no edge to my attractiveness like I feel empty and boring. Though outwardly some women are attracted. I went to a cloth store and there was a woman at the checkout working, I look at her without any intention and when I was at the other end of the store she came walking fast to ask if I needed help with anything. There were at least 1 guy working very near me also so she didn't need to come and certainly not that fast. It was too fast so I didn't find any relevant question to ask her., it's like she jumped into me. So I told her I'm just looking around. I tried some cloth and I bought one. She was at the checkout, it was obvious that she wasn't behaving normally, exactly like a guy trying to impress, she talked about some stupid things with her coworker but in a loud voice. She was nervous obviously, classic erratic behavior, she couldn't find the article in the computer. What's weird is that I don't feel as sexy about it, I had to force some cockiness. She was beautiful, but too skinny, not feminine enough to me. The way I attract girl is weird, definitely not as before.
I went to a nightclub later that day for my cousin birthday. His new girlfriend seems to like me very much, she was very interested about who I was and my dating history, my preference about women, she also seems to believe that I dated a lot of women. There was one women checking me out when I was talking, and they said that I should go talk to her but she wasn't my type. I tried to hook up with at least 5 women but all of them rejected me
I don't feel cocky enough I think, the alcohol wasn't helping. I didn't want to drink but it was my cousin birthday.
At the end of stage 2 I didn't want to switch stage because I was feeling very good but this stage I'm can't wait to switch.
I almost forgot the other girl that I was supposed to date yesterday (online dating), but like I predicted she wasn't interested, she didn't even appear online that day and I almost forgot myself. It's like girls around me are behaving as weirdly as the vibe I project. Might be some weird half working manifestation, at this point the coincidence is out of the question, she the 2nd doing that same thing during this month and all of them seems really interested at first, same story, same ending.
Hey Alpha
this stage 3 seems to be exactly the same thing i experienced. Nothing attractive, and more inimidation. I was rejected also often during the stage.
stage 4 was just a little bit better. At least no resistance.
stage2 was the best so far, but even then i did not have much attraction. I seem to have benifted from the seduction part of sm3 more.
stage 5 now after making me very tired tbe first days, it is back to normal. And now i still do not have much attention from women( or i am blind to it) but when a woman now falls for me, they keep looking in a weird way.
what is your sub plan after this run?
I think I will go for this new aosi unless there is something even greater coming out. I don't know it depends on how this run is going to be, I might even do SM3 again or Ephra if I feel I would do better doing that instead. It may also relax me a little more, changing direction every month isn't something I like, I feel like a woman in her cycle going from madness to love. AOSI may bring me more stability.
(05-29-2016, 08:38 AM)Alpha360 Wrote: [ -> ]I think I will go for this new aosi unless there is something even greater coming out. I don't know it depends on how this run is going to be, I might even do SM3 again or Ephra if I feel I would do better doing that instead.
Same. Ever since I ran NSFM and got great success I made the decision to not use any attraction subs until they got the 5G treatment (or the 5.5G treatment as is the case now). The good thing Alpha360 is that by the time you start AOSI some of the hype/excitement should have calmed down. I'm particularly looking forward to other experienced individuals running it to get a better gauge of its capabilities. My main concern with AOSI is that even though it's 5.5G and super powered with all these modules...its still an attraction subliminal and attraction subliminals have certain "x-factors" that can make results vary by a wide margin. X-factors in this case being things like past sexual experience, geography, access to other people (particularly women or whatever gender you're attracted to), etc.
As far as stability, I'm with you man. It was one of the things that drove me crazy during AM during some stages. GOing from 100 to 33, to -12, back up to 88, and so on and so forth. That's why NSFM was the bomb for me. It was smooth and consistent. Every. Single. Time. That's why I hope AOSI's effects are as consistent as NSFM because that up and down emotional roller coaster sucks ballz.
How's your tinnitus by the way? Everything cool?
EDIT: Added some experiences about NSFM in paragraph 2
My tinnitus is much better, I don't pay attention to it anymore, it's still there but it doesn't mean much. Even when I'm very tired it's not really bothering.
I almost forgot about NSFM, it sucks that there is so few reports about this sub. I'm with you with the hype thing, what I noticed until now with sub is that the first few days there is a huge exaggeration usually even from myself sometimes, I was wondering what a sub like E2 can do after 2 month when the fun of the first month have died. Thanks for your post it's post like that which I like.
I'm going to write another post in a few minutes, I just had a big haha moment with my SM3 ride, stage 3 may not be as boring as I thought.
Stage 3 day 30 night:
I was feeling very emotionally grounded tonight even with the big hungover that I had from drinking yesterday. I was talking with the online friend girl that I just got the number this afternoon. I was very proud about being honest with her while at the same time satisfying my needs. I was also feeling very neediless after going through some ups and down with my neediness level with this girl. Then after that without realizing I started to please myself sexually. After being really frustrated sexually because I didn't improve my sex performance this month. I realized that to please others sexually I have to be able to please myself sexually first. To sexually learn to be sexual with myself, to be sensual, to like to touch self. I think I might have broke a huge barrier of shame about my sexuality. So I let go of everything and I made love with myself, the word love is important here. I think I underestimated how much I can please myself alone, how much pleasure I have without any women. Imagine how much power I have now compared to before, I even dare think that it would be hard for a girl to please me as much that I can please myself alone.
There is so much I learn tonight I was trying to explain things to others and I understood more deeply my own explanation as a result. I think women are less needy because they are more able to please themselves alone, to care emotionally for themselves, to love themselves egocentrically while having less shame about it, in that sense they are more self reliant emotionally that most men. they don't need as much comfort from men as we need from women at least emotionally. While we are needy about emotion, we need to validate our emotion because we are so awkward about it. And the media doesn't help here because a caring sensitive men is seen as weak and pornography made it very clear that men are emotionless sex machine.
So as a result I was able to perform better and last longer, but the fact that I feel more self validated emotionally is a much better reward. And the 2 seems to be intrinsically connected. The mood I am in, the breathing, the letting go, the touching, the self love, how relaxed I am, the shameless attitude that would appear dirty from a shameful person. The experimenting about my body and thinking that maybe I don't know much about my own body, about my own sexuality. Will I let a girl learn me how to have sex when I can learn so much if I'm willing to experiment like a kid playing with himself shamelessly.
I think this is the SM3 stage 3 programming coming in because during this stage I felt an undeniable urge to look deeper into myself. I also have to admit that during the first few days I was looking at porn a lot which may reflect my sexual frustration.
I may need to explain further though because it may appear I'm contradicting myself with another post I made in another journal.
PS: I censored a lot of what really happened
Sounds like really good insights.
Day 31 night:
I just realized again how stupid I was or how I didn't realize something that was so obvious, in front of me. I was experimenting with sex, thinking about to pleasure myself. And trying to understand how I could feel better when having sex, how to bring a good feeling about sex. After thinking a lot I realized something obvious that I was talking about a lot and even giving advice to some woman about this. Because it seems it was more important to women than to for me. How wrong I was. The advice I gave to some woman I know when they couldn't orgasm it that they had a problem with their emotion, they couldn't let go, they couldn't relax. How could I think that I was different and that I could separated my feeling from the actual sex itself. It's like I put sex in one box and my feeling in another. Problem is my mind, my emotion, my thinking ability, the “me” when I say “I” is needed to have sex like every task I do everyday. I think it's part of the system I grow up into and how porn portray sex. I now realize that the healthier my emotion will be the better the sex I'll have will be, what an obvious realization. How could I think that I could a have a great sex performance and have my emotion all over the place. Ephra would help me a great deal with my emotions. I was thinking about using it after SM3 and this gave me another reason again. But my goal if I use Ephra is not to heal really, more to improve my emotion, to correct them, to remove some anxiety, to remove that need to perform or to prove that I can do something to others.
There is one thing I begin to realize also is why I want to have sex. I used to think I wanted sex for the pleasure but after reading a lot of sex story and trying to be true with my real intent I realized that It's not really the case. It's not really the pleasure that I wanted but the ego thing, so I can say that I'm good in bed and I can bring pleasure to women easily. It's just something I wanted to prove. I didn't do for myself. I realized that because when I'm alone I don't really care about the pleasure I have, I cared but it's wasn't that important to me as long I could please my partner: low self esteem,I didn't care about me.
There is also one thing I noticed recently in my attitude is that I'm much more logical while at the same time I'm also fully aware of my emotion. I do use both of my hemisphere when thinking but more effectively than before. It's not easy to explain until I grasp really what's happening. I noticed with the online girl that didn't come to the rendez vous I was more logical and more willing to put action to clearly define what couldn't be the truth or wasn't likely possible. I used to idealize my partners or to have a completely unrealistic view about them so they could fit what I wanted. I used to make an idealized image of the girl I was chating with. And at some point when I would talk with the girl the reality was different to the image I made up of her causing clash, deception, and disappointment.
It becomes difficult to explain everything I'm living through and a lot of what I do feel is very personal. I'm asking myself if I should really share all that. I'm also thinking that meditation would help a lot with sexual performance and to really be in the moment. Obvious things that I don't pay attention. I think too much people even in this forum have a vision about sex that is too mechanical, not human, we have departed from reality, I begin to have this realization more and more. We have lost the real meaning about what a human is. We are not true to ourself. . But I think I'm talking for nothing almost as I read the same things in books but I was oblivious to it, I just put in the back of my mind, half agreeing with it but not putting effort to experience that knowledge. SM3 made it more obvious to me, my sexual reality is shifting.
I begin to have more control over my sexual feeling, when I want to get horny and when I want to make a sexual feeling coming through my eyes or my touch. It seems to become more natural.
Day 32:
I realized I didn't pay too much attention about when I will change stage, I wasn't really that in a hurry to change stage. Even though I didn't really like that stage.
I wondering going to happen in this next stage.
I understand what you mean, sex seemed flat when there's no emotion, her flesh loses that something and it seems dead the whole act. There's no richness to it.
I think it's even worst than that, if there wasn't any emotion there wouldn't be any sex, I wouldn't get any erection. But it's more like the less emotion you put into it the less sex is enjoyable, the more it is mechanical. And by emotion I don't mean necessarily that you love the girl or fall for her but that you completely enjoy the moment, that you relax, that you live the moment fully and you put some sexual desire into it. Having sex passionately I would call it, with passion, with admiration of the human body, almost like a piece of art and also with a lot stuff that most people would consider dirty.
I have experimented with hypnosis a bit and there is also a lot of similarity, it's about putting joy, life and pleasure into the act, being curious and a lot of other things. I can't really explained with words
Day 1 Stage 4:
When I was listening the first hour I felt this joy and I knew somehow that this stage would be much better than the previous one. And it is much better.
So I went to town after my first night listening and I had much more staring, stole glance, women looking at me from far away and a lot more than usual. There was too much looking at me for it to be a coincidence. I also noticed that men are now respecting me more again like when I was on stage 5 AM6. I was in my usual ice cream shop and the guy serving me was very respectful unlike the last month which I didn't want to even talk to him because he was behaving so stupidly around me, asking stupid question again and again. But that day I noticed at least 4 men giving me respect when there was no need for it.
And from women there is like an admiration they look at me with awe. I also feel like a supermodel walking in the street. I went to a bar at around 8pm and noticed some women looking at me when I was coming in but it's not the usual looking. One of them was with a man and she completely returned herself to look at me after the first check and I was far away. What's even more surprising is that she is the woman working at the perfume shop and she knows me very well, we saw each other more than once in the bar also. But that night she didn't look at me normally, it's like she couldn't prevent herself from checking me. She already developed some king of attraction with me but sometimes she try hard to behave like she don't notice me. She developed that attraction during the good stage I was in.
This is going to be a great stage I think.
Day 2:
I noticed I was more aggressive this morning. I'm still wondering why there is so much difference between stage 3 and 4, and only in one night listening it's like I'm a different person.
Day 2 afternoon:
Way more aggressive than usual, it makes me remember why I like SM3 so much, my patience is gone, I get angry easily and I can't stay at a place long enough, I get excited and I want to move. I was swearing back home to some stupid driver.
Attraction level is much more higher than usual, I just had that confirmation again and again throughout the day, too much example to say them all, I will only say the more funny.
I went to eat an ice cream with a friend and the cougar woman with her child was checking me out a lot, I think my friend noticed too, this cougar was on her phone and profited from that to look at me each time she could. The young white girl to my left with huge tits was more intimated but looked at me also, she was with a guy but I don't think he was her boyfriend.
I went to a festival then, and I went to backstage entry, there was a security guy, a man and a very cute beautiful woman (very very cute almost perfect). So I went in to check if I could access the place freely and the security come up to talk, the female followed too, and the man too but I didn't check his presence. So I just asked what was there and some info about the place, but the cute woman was like in heaven full on me, like she wanted to agree with me about what I said, there was like an agreeing laugh and smile on her, her face emotion was "super happy", just before I came I looked at her and she wasn't doing that. So the security guard said the entrance was to the other way around but I asked again what was there behind him and he went a bit more aggressive but the woman was still full on me, from time to time I was looking at her. I wanted to keep the conversation going but the security guard was too stupid to understand how we do a conversation so I left, my attitude was very cocky arrogant so it's probably why the security guard got aggressive a bit.
Forget to said, my cocky arrogance is back, arrogant body language is there also. I can't believe I forgot all those aspect from stage 2, I was very different on stage 3.