I think there is 2 extreme like everything in life. The guys who is overly romantic,who think that everything is a dream, every girl is an angel, etc. And there is the guys who thinks every girl is a bitch and isn't worth anything. Like always I think the reality is in the middle neither too romantic dreamer neither overly pessimistic.
(03-31-2016, 08:45 AM)Alpha360 Wrote: [ -> ]I think there is 2 extreme like everything in life. The guys who is overly romantic,who think that everything is a dream, every girl is an angel, etc. And there is the guys who thinks every girl is a bitch and isn't worth anything. Like always I think the reality is in the middle neither too romantic dreamer neither overly pessimistic.
I am definitively the first type, but not only to women. I try to seek good and beauty in everyone. Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I think thinking everyone is a bitch or a jerk and the Universe hates me is simply wrong. I'd rather seek fault in myself and try to fix it (and trust me, I've made great progress last two years, but have still a lot to work on) rather than cast blame on others. Don't get me wrong, the are bad people on this Earth, but there are good too, and it's still better to assure the latter.
As to romantic stuff, I think it comes from my lack of experience with girls and this fantasy I have. You see I've pretty much wasted my high school years: when others had their first loves I was playing video games and jerking off. It will probably never come back, but still I'd wish to have this. And who knows, maybe I will, but it's certainly not something I can force or wish away. Only time will tell what awaits me.
I've been reading "The Unchained Man" recently, surely most of you remember that book. It's my second read actually, first one was circa a year ago during my first AM run. It's funny as I remember my feelings about it back then. I was thinking that there is value in that book, but the author is very bitter and tries to fuck his way through the life as his marriage didn't work. Now, maybe due to my experiences throughout last year or due to subs, I think he's mostly right. The problem is that while my logical brain says "yes", my emotional brain still tries to hold on to old ideals.
I'm reading a lot of red pill/alpha male materials nowadays and I'm almost worried. You see, most men (I'll be talking only on the male side of things here) in those communities (as well as this one) are much older than I am. I'm 22 and most of them seem to be in their late 20s or 30s. It pains me to see their anger and disappointment with women and life, but at the same time I'm so much younger and I may have dogged a bullet. It's true that I've waster circa 7 years of my high school and uni years on computer games and webshites, but I can still revert it with almost nothing lost. I might have started late, but nothing really will miss me. Unless I will give up and keep on my beta existence, which would be a shame.
Don't worry too much about red pill stuff. It's a lot of negativity. You don't need to live life with rosy coloured lenses on and think women are angels but you also don't need to buy into the fear, anger and disappointment of red pill. Just continue AM and learn to value yourself first, above any woman, and she will worship the ground you walk on because she's so in love. To the dismay of red pill theorists.
(04-10-2016, 02:36 PM)ffaux Wrote: [ -> ]Don't worry too much about red pill stuff. It's a lot of negativity. You don't need to live life with rosy coloured lenses on and think women are angels but you also don't need to buy into the fear, anger and disappointment of red pill. Just continue AM and learn to value yourself first, above any woman, and she will worship the ground you walk on because she's so in love. To the dismay of red pill theorists.
It's true, it's source of lots of negativity. But I cannot blame them, if I were to used and harmed because I believed in lies for so long I would be angry too. I don't plan to follow them or take them as an example, but I want to learn from them and use them as an cautionary tale. They had their hearts broken and believes shattered so that now I don't need to share the same fate.
I still have 5 days on stage 2 to go, but I think it's good time for some kind of summary, especially since this weekend may change a lot. This has been stage of self-realization, a stark contrast from the last one. During last stage I was much more alpha, I got a girl and lost virginity, but a lot of it wasn't me and it felt unfounded. Now I am much more doubtful and emotional, but I understand myself much better, I came to some hard but necessary conclusions and I think I know next steps forward. Life of course is unpredictable and expectations are met with disappointment, so I'd rather take what is given to me. But I know I need to change. Not to be alpha and get some pussy, but to survive and be actually happy. There is no other way.
Cannot wait to see what stage 3 will bring. Only 5 more day to it!
If there is anything I've learnt this weekend, it's that I'm naive. Perhaps good-hearted, but still naive fool. And quite conflicted one.
Here's the story. I'm still in contact with that girl I lost virginity with 2 months ago or so. She's been through a rough relationship and now is in the phase of "adventuring", where by adventure I mean casual sex with guys met in the clubs. And I have no problem with that, at first I didn't really intent her to be anything more than FWB. But now things are a bit different, she says she's in love with me and I got deep into her mind. And although she seems to mean it, at the same time she keeps on adventuring while not even wanting to make out with me.
So this weekend we had a talk, one of those where I get under her skin, and she got very emotional. This obviously made me soft and beta, making me want to fight for her even despite her behavior. And don't get me wrong, there are number of reasons why she's worth fighting for, but not while she disrespects me like this. Thankfully now that the trip is done I can rethink my approach to her. I don't think I'll share it with you, but it will probably sound something like: "I will not be troubled by her, if she gives me drama I'll ignore her and whatever happens I must focus on my Mission, not some girl."
That should give me some space until next emotional conversation. God, why am I so soft?
Oh Irony, you silly mistress! I've read next chapter of "The Unchained Man" and surely enough it was about internal attractiveness to women: confidence, outcome independence and emotional control. As if I knew I'll need it next. And while I think I have all of those traits right now, I still haven't mastered them and it shows in my current conundrum. It also means the goal I wrote yesterday was right and I'm still being sane.
Also I'd love to run Women Magnet right now so damn much! I'm not sure why.
(04-17-2016, 08:06 AM)FrostedFake Wrote: [ -> ] (04-17-2016, 12:53 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]Also I'd love to run Women Magnet right now so damn much! I'm not sure why.
One of us! One of us! 
We'll see, we'll see... I'd love to do that, but I cannot spare 500$ right now and maybe I'll get satisfactionary results with AM and BIATBW alone
Also this made me think a lot today:
It's the last day of stage 2. I've already made summary a couple days back, so today I will just outline what I intent to do next stage and next year. Or at least what I hope to achieve.
I got quite bitter this last stage, mainly because I struggle between being alpha and tending to my own selfish need on the one hand, and being nice and emphatic beta on the other. I wish I could join those world together, but they are not compatible. One is harsh truth while second is sweet lie. Lie I want to believe in. In next stage I will stop just trying to find myself: I will start putting my newly learnt knowledge into action. I will be more assertive, more unapologetic towards what I want. You don't like what I do? I don't care. I promised something? Well, so did every marriage before divorce.
I only hope there will be no paralyzing fear during this stage. Last month there were many days where I felt like shit, I could make things done due to my emotions. I regret that, but I feel there was nothing I could do about it.
As to long-term plans I would love to start doing LOA stuff again, but I don't think it's good idea with such bitterness and sadness within me at this time. That would probably only backfire on me. One way or the other I'm quite sure that current girl was due to manifestation, I'd not want waste further opportunities. Also exercising LOA gives nice feeling of hope, I could use that as well.
What I will not do now, however, is getting into dating stage just yet. I'll wait for that after I'm done with AM and I start BIATBW again. Of course I will pursue opportunity if one arises, but I will not actively seek it. I really need to figure out myself before I will look for somebody else. I think it only makes sense. Also, if only I will have enough money, I will start WM somewhere around December-January. I could use not only results with women, but also other things that sub has to offer. And since my second AM is so much different than first one and sub seems to settle nicely (it's still a hard process though), I think I'll be ready.
Hi there,
Long time no write. I've been running stage 3 for 2 weeks now and lots of things have happened, although I don't want to write about them. So far the funny thing is each stage seems to have a theme and the theme of this one is making the relationship work. I've been surprised when that girl I was messing around with during stage 2 asked me during day 1 of stage 3 to be my girlfriend and seriously try to make this work. So far we manage, but it's not easy. If I told you details of what I'm doing I'm sure most of you would be mad and advice me against it, but since I don't want to build anything permanent with her as of now (nor did I promise her anything like that) even though we stumble I'm gaining a valuable experience and I learn a lot about myself. Things aren't perfect and I'm far from behaving like alpha right now, but I think it's worth it.
One more week to go with stage 3. From the news I broke up with my kinda sorta girlfriend. She broke my trust (she had sleep-over with friend she knew I'm jealous of, I don't think she cheated on me but still she showed no respect to me and my feelings) and though I was mad at first I'm in this strange sense of empowerment now. The reason is simple: because of her I stopped pursuing my alpha goals. She was my first girlfriend so I tried to approach her beta way, with care and respect, but it didn't work. Why it didn't work is another issue (mainly due to my own fears and differences in character), but that experience was priceless. I will give myself a week to get used to being single and emotionally free again and I'll start my alpha training with stage 4. I will start some project now, like exercising and diet (which I stopped due to stress and mental fatigue), but I'll wait with other stuff so that I can approach the topic with clear mind.
Will I go back to her one day if opportunity arises? Maybe, but only as a different man.
Props for this and for the realization