Subliminal Talk

I've just read up on it a bit; it makes sense. It's like the Cicero method, where you're assigning things to a spatial layout of a room. I'll stick with one method (pMemory) until I'm done.

Stage 1, Day 24,

I noticed that I've been mostly keeping my mouth shut about all the things I'm working on, for example, my gym habits and the memory system; I've only told a couple people. They were people that were very interested that last few times I've given them updates.
Other than that, I keep my head down and do it, save for my blabbing about it here for future reference.

I also noticed that I truly love this year and that it's started off right. Unfortunately, I haven't been up to snuff with my singing, guitar and songwriting habits. This mini-semester has been intense, so it took a back seat. That is until tomorrow, wherein I have my final exam.

It should be pretty easy and straightforward, so I went through my class notes, and I'll be resting to have plenty of time tomorrow to go over it.

After this final exam, I will be going gung-ho about my habits, and I'll change up my habit cheat a bit, since it's no longer school, but full-time work.

I had the idea of rewarding myself after graduating university (or at least finishing my internship, entitling myself to a diploma in the near future), I could take a vacation sometime in late July or August to Hollywood, California. I'd be bringing my guitar to busk for spending money, trying to surf, there might even be an RSD free tour going through at that time (I don't really care that much about RSD, but it's a perfect excuse to go). I'd set up a bunch of online dates, hang out at Hollywood clubs, and I happen to know this ex-dating authority figure who recently moved to LA; We could potentially hang out. This would all happen after Stage 6 of AM6, so I'd be very actualized and be able to pull this off, and probably more.

Funny enough, this is the same sort of 'crazy thought' I had this time last year in regards to busking in the market of my city. That turned out exceedingly well, so I have very high expectations of this turning out well.

Yeah I don't tell many people about my self development stuff, because they either just go weird or dont' get it unless they are into it themselves. Though interestingly I seem to be meeting more people recently who are into it.

-Ben

(01-27-2015, 09:35 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah I don't tell many people about my self development stuff, because they either just go weird or dont' get it unless they are into it themselves. Though interestingly I seem to be meeting more people recently who are into it.

-Ben

Lucky bastard! I find a hard time in meeting actual people that into self-development.

Either way I find people to be too stupid. Too dumb that I love my cat even more. They into technology and shit, updating their games, phones, whatever it is but still using the old operating system in their minds.

(01-27-2015, 09:55 PM)AlphaMind Wrote: [ -> ]

(01-27-2015, 09:35 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah I don't tell many people about my self development stuff, because they either just go weird or dont' get it unless they are into it themselves. Though interestingly I seem to be meeting more people recently who are into it.

-Ben

Lucky bastard! I find a hard time in meeting actual people that into self-development.

Either way I find people to be too stupid. Too dumb that I love my cat even more. They into technology and shit, updating their games, phones, whatever it is but still using the old operating system in their minds.

Same here. It shocks me how ignorant the majority of the human race actually is.

Stage 1, Day 25,

Slept a lot, very sore from last day's workout.

Had a lazy morning (no morning ritual), and did some basic studying for exams. I did pretty well on the finals. I then went to get sushi for supper, by myself. I noticed near the end that I didn't care that I was by myself, and didn't even bother to look around the place. Just enjoying my own company.

I did all the things that I would want to get done on a daily basis. Getting VERY proficient on guitar, learning this song that I didn't even believe could be done a few months ago. Sure enough, I set up the brain wiring enough times for it to be automatic.

Songwriting every day is the one that takes the most to get myself to do, but once I do, I get a few bars/measures out, and that's it I can put out in the 30 minute block. It's really about getting a feel for the song, and repeated exposures of where it could go.

Stage 1, Day 26

New video up:
http://youtu.be/ytdWu5XiqdU

Should be up by the time you read this; funny thing is.. I THOUGHT I was smiling and happy the entire time I was filming, which is weird. I should look into that, and smile more in general (and be more visibly happy when I actually am that).

Today's workout was hard, and I really took my time to get there; first day off of school obligations.

Met up with a guy I know, who seemed to be a really popular guy, a good rapper, and really creative. I find out that he gets his tracks as other people's instrumentals, and then overlays on top of that. It attenuated my impression of him when I found this out. I encouraged his keep working on his producing. We met for a half-hour with his friend and chilled out at his house for 2 hours.

I find out that you can order weed online without a medical card, and that pineapple express is a real type. "The More You Know". I haven't done weed in many many years - and note that I'm 22 years old - so it's useless information to me. Since this guy is really ambitious, visionary, creative, but doesn't have his act together and could influence me in negative ways, as he's gotten arrested for dealing, I'll keep my guard up for a little while as an acquaintance.

Did a double dose of writing, a double dose of singing, guitar, BrainEv, groceries for the next recipe. I'm content, but now really tired.

Impressed with your journal, wishing you all the best on your path of becoming 'stronger version of yourself' (that's from Elliot Hulse)

Stage 1, Day 27,
At 430 plays

Slept in pretty hard; 3 hours more than I intended
Did my gym and pMemory eventually; I'm at the point of the program where it's easy to complete a lesson in an hour's time.

Volunteered myself for work today; went well. I'm able to get myself feeling very happy most of the time. But it's strange that the more positive my experience is, the deeper my subconscious digs for experiences in the other direction. After a spree of feeling positive, I began to ponder the possibility of my parents dying in a car crash; that's useless thinking, but it came up nonetheless.

Right now, I'm sitting on my bed, listening to subs, reading blogs, and really yawning and tearing up like crazy; it's as though I'd been in the middle of clearing. I have a feeling that I'll be feeling it tomorrow.

Weird, I've not thought about sex in the last 4-5 days, and haven't jerked it in that much time. Must be low sex drive. But tomorrow I'm seeing the girl I've been seeing, and I'll take it all out on her, so to speak.

I've been realizing more and more that I've caught a sliver of what's possible related to women and dating. I can imagine a reality where I'm being completely authentic with women, I love the heck out of them, and they love the heck out of me, and I can take it wherever we both want. It might be idealistic, but I've already had experiences that could suggest this reality is feasible.

There's just something to be said about the twinkle in a woman's eye, the way she gets excited at things, how I just want to meld and mix myself into her. The issue is that I very rarely see that, which has me a bit confused; few women look at me, fewer smile or hold eye contact. In that reality, it's very hard to believe anything could happen. Especially when I've mixed SM3 + effort and got only a little in return.

Stage 1, Day 28,

This day wasn't terribly productive, but I got a good day.
First was pMemory, and I finished day 15.

Then, my friends came in from out of town. Two of the five there live near my town, the other 3 come from my home town. We went ice skating for the most part. I had a looser pair of skates, so my ankles were very wobbly, and I couldn't skate well (I very seldom skate). I was getting very pissed up near the end of the experience, and I embrassed that; I didn't try to make it not-okay. Once the skates were off, I was back to my chipper self.

Then, I was driven home, wished them well, and went in, tired. I had time to kill between then and my date. She said she could come early, and that she did.

We had really good sex, had hot chocolate, then went to a party in which I was invited. She got along very well with my acquaintances. She met my good friend - who broke up with her boyfriend for the 5th time this month - and hung out for a while. Then we got back to my place and had more sex. We spend about 6 hours together. The sex had been getting better.

Now I'm hanging out.

Here's a summary of my month (January 2015):

- Cut out porn;
- Stopped drinking (just due not caring about it);
- Did 15 (1/4 of) lessons of pMemory;
- Went to gym 19 times;
- Implemented morning ritual, did 20 times to some degree;
- Getting up as early as 5:40am;
- Did songwriting 14 days;
- Did guitar 17 days;
- Did singing workout 22 days;
- Had sex about four times with the same woman;
- Went from Stage 4 to Stage 5 of Brain Evolution

Stage 5 of brainev gives u deep longer sleep and more focused persspective due to prevalance of delta brainweb . I admire your mindful observation of spending Time Dan.

Stage 1, Day 29,

Slept in, in the good way. I did my singing warmup, even though my voice has been groggy nonetheless. I went to work for a few hours.

After that, I went to do groceries, did songwriting, did guitar, tied up some pMemory, which has been getting a bit frustrating; I need to figure out the best way to integrate the habits and the techniques into my life. Right now, it feels like I'm trying out different shaped pegs for a certain sized hole; I know one fits, but I still need to find it.

Tomorrow, I start my work internship. I'll be doing a basic 9-5, so I need to sneak in pMemory in the mornings (getting up at 5:30am tomorrow to make sure it gets done, and then I'll get my stuff ready, go to work, do whatever work it is, then when I get home, eat, go to the gym, come back and do my 2 hours-worth of stuff that I've signed myself up for. I would expect it to be 10 by then. I'll do guitar last, as it's my lowest priority.

Maybe I should convert the BrainEv flac files to high quality WAV, put them on my iPhone, and play it during my lunch break to cut time when I'm home..

Stage 1, Day 30,

So I woke up at 5:35, but I was extremely tired. I still did pMemory. For some reason, I feel like I'm remembering and retaining less, but likely due to the fact that I'm tired today.
I left 50 minutes early for work, but I wound up 45 minutes late due to the crazy cold weather and delayed bus. They even canceled the bus I was waiting for. I'm changing my bus approach, and leaving even earlier. I ruined my first impression by being late. I tried calling a cab, and even they were back-logged. I wound up calling the other girl who's working there too, and she collected my cold ass.

The work was fine; it's very incremental, so the entire week, we'll be covering the basics. Lots of introduction. Finished at 4. Went to the bank for laundry money.

Went home, did laundry, cooked supper, laid down for BrainEv, brought my tired and sorry ass to the gym and did my exercises. I introduced myself to the girl at the gym, but she kept dropping the boyfriend line, so I (she) cut it short. I actually didn't care; I wasn't feeling a spark, possibly because she wasn't open to the possibility.

Got home and did voice. Didn't really have much time for other stuff than to review pMemory and make sure I got the connections right.

I failed to mention that roughly 1 out of every 2 days, I become emotionally insecure, where I'm unable to look people in the face without a mild emotional reaction. I take it as it is, but I hope Stage 2 deals with that.