Good work mate. A good book in terms of how to communicate with women is 'Open Her'. It's written by a woman and I've noticed changes in myself after adopting some of the things she talks about.
Regarding your sitting on a rock in stillness, I'm curious what you hoped would come from it? I haven't read the book but it sounds like nothing will come from it, like meditating. Have you seen the movie 'The Peaceful Warrior'? Pretty good movie about mindfulness. There's a scene where he sits on a car roof for I think a day when the inspiration strikes.
@Andarras: I expected inspiration to strike. And it didn't strike the same day. But within 5 days, I finished a song that I was stuck on for about 3 weeks. That's partly due to the fact that I made it a habit to put time aside, and to work on something specific, like Verse 2 of a certain song, instead of just 'write music'. Not sure if it's related.
Stage 5, Day 18
Recently began a new rotation. I'm shared between three preceptors, who are also certified educators in a specific disease, which means that they know their stuff. One of them is super sexy in my eyes; she's has two kids, she's probably 40, and recently separated. It's frustrating to not have a whole lot going on in a small town, then have your eye candy be your boss.
Learning a ton; I impressed my bosses by doing extra work and learning what they tell me is important. I even made Anki flashcards to help the crucial information sink in. The sexy one said that her opinion of me changed when I volunteered to interview clients, instead of watching passively from the side.
The downside is that on top of my guitar practicing, my singing, and songwriting, I'm exhausted. I'll cover in more detail later.
My voice is almost studio ready (though I have no studio to sing in); while home alone, I tried to belt out my full-voice. The first couple of times was that I had a coughing fit, as it tickled a part of my throat that I haven't been using. After about 5 tries, I belted out a line in a way that my 19-year old self could have only dreamed of. It still needs some work on other areas, but it's incredible what consistent action brings you.
Guitar has become frustrating, as I'm, once again, being shown ways where I'm not quite 'there'. But I'm also seeing how I'm closing gaps of my ignorance as long as I keep going.
The downside is that I'm feeling conflicted between positive and negative emotions; during the week, I listen to uplifting stuff. During the weekend, I feel compelled to listen to pessimistic things.
Same with my 'alphaness'; I'm not really feeling it, and I feel it slipping up quite often, as demonstrated by my hesitancies, my voice tone. I realized that I'm trying to not intimidate clients; after that, I decided to stop and I've been doing ok.
I'm feeling run-down; it's 9:30pm, and it feels like 2-3am. I'm probably going to bed soon after this to recharge.
By the way, I found the single most inspiring video I've ever seen in my life. Here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tkKq43xX5c
It's practically flawless; there's a lot I could learn about pacing, story telling, body language.
Stage 5, Day 19,
I'm flabbergasted at how I can play guitar today. Definite level up. I've determined that my weak point is my right hand (picking hand), so I'll focus exercises to make it as good as my left hand (fretting hand). I've spend about 2 years with a thumbpick, so a regular pick has become a bit foreign to my right hand, but my left hand was still getting plenty of practice.
I feel like I'm almost ready to show the world what I'm made of.
I want to learn about audio producing/engineering to produce my own EP. Will use my busking earnings to pay for the basics, and to purchase books on the subject.
Stage 5, Day 24,
Got excellent feedback from a boss, which I didn't expect, but puts a lot into perspective.
I have three bosses, and two of them are gone for a week, so I'm stuck with the one, and she avoided me until she had to.
She eventually told me, after enough time together, that I simply need to calm down (my eagerness to please, and pass my placement), and that this energy has been stressing her out like crazy. The other bosses were saying the same thing. She told me to calm down.
Until she said all of that, I had no idea I was carrying around the extra stress. When she said that, I began to feel and process all of that anxiety. I did an fEFT tapping for the first time during this program, and it has helped. My boss relayed that it was much better today.
It really puts into perspective a whole lot of things; I must have stressed out each of the girls I've had crushes on, putting loads of pressure on them (not for sex or anything specific, but just that feeling of pressure), and giving them negative emotions. The girls I approach seem interested, but then drop off after a few text messages are exchanged.
I think that I'll need some sort of coaching for dating, since I truly don't know the best alternative for how I was behaving.
I want to preserve my workaholic mentality (where I'm eager to learn), but don't want to make others uncomfortable.
Where and what do you do for a living?
I'm in a specific branch of health sciences in Eastern Ontario.
I consult clients who have diabetes. I'm not getting paid for it, since it's an internship.
Stage 5, Day 26,
Huh.. I've noticed I'm having much less negative talk today. Few urges to look up scandalous stuff, or go places where I know the comments sections will bring out negativity. Each time that happened, I just clicked on some sort of useful link instead.
My negative talk is hardly about myself; it's mostly about other people. I know that up to this point, it's impacted my network. I don't really care that much, given that I'm mostly introverted, as in, introverted most of the time.
Stage 5, Day 32 / Stage 6, Day 0
This is the evening where I'm listening to Stage 6.
Stage 5 certainly was interesting. I felt myself coming into my own as a professional in my field. I'm more comfortable with clients and speaking with them. I've noticed that my stuttering has come back.
My speed reading is paying off; I was tested, and got a speed of 920 words a minute. Pretty impressive.
I'm committed to the process of success (financial);I feel like I'm doing all the right things, now I just have to keep doing it. Throughout the week, I've felt compelled to learn Mandarin Chinese, and I'm contemplating committing to a two year period where I'm working on Mandarin and Spanish.
There's a neat Anki deck that has 8100 cards, and it's designed to take you from complete beginner to an intermediate, adding one new word at a time. If I see 11 new words each day - which isn't terribly difficult or time consuming - and review the rest, I can learn every card in 2 years.
Spanish is doable as well; I know 3 romance languages, plus I'm familiar with the grammar, the vocabulary and the cognates.
It's interesting that I'm willing to consider 2 year goals; I realize that it's a sign of maturity to consider goals in long investments. I used to think 6 - 12 months. Most of my goals are in 3 month chunks to assure that they're feasible.
Women aren't on my mind; best that way, since I'm in a small town that wouldn't reward a high sex drive. I'll work on being successful with them when I'm actually around them.
I've successfully set time aside for songwriting most nights of the week, and it's paying off; I'm writing incredible songs. I honestly believe that I'm in the top 1-2% in my field when it comes to writing mainstream music, since the stuff I hear on the radio doesn't come close to the nuance and variety that I bring to the table. If I'm able to put my songs into a professional format, and then made well-thought out music videos, I'd be in a very different position compared to what I am now. No joke. I'll be buying BAMM 2.0 as soon as I can, and I have to decide if I want to run AM6 another time, or go into BAMM for several years.
This is the last of 6 stages of Alpha Male; after this, I'll be running
I ) Maximum Learning Speed 4G (I own)
II) Stop Stuttering 4G (will buy)
I've heard Sarge mention that you can integrate stuttering into your life to make it a part of you, but I've felt it impact my life in too many ways, that not handling it would hinder me in other ways. My language skills, my confidence in my field, my success with women, my social circle.
A lot of the time, saying something correctly, clearly, and loudly feels like running across a tightrope; I just blurt it out to get to done. That creates some anxiety inside of me, so the subliminal will help.
I ran Maximum Learning Speed along with AM5, which was stupid, but it worked, even though I didn't play it that much.
Doing the full dose of MLS for at least 3 months, I wonder if it will help me learn 25% faster, 25% more. Or 50%? In the long term, each extra day in which I learn more will mean More success, faster.
Stage 6, Day 1,
Interesting shifts of perspective today. I'm realizing that I shouldn't ask for what I want. Instead, I should ask for the knowledge to get what I want (thanks, Tai Lopez).
I realized (also, thanks to Tai Lopez) that I should go to conferences in the fields that I want to learn more about. Which is music, business, etc. It will prequalify the high quality people that attend these events. And the top 10% of any field go to conferences regularly.
Same with women; why don't I just meet the high quality ones at these conferences, or go to the self-improvement section of the bookstore?
My guitar is getting dry; it explains why I've been getting sloppier. Makes sense, seeing that I keep it in a room with a de-humidifier. I put damp sponges into holed plastic bags, and placed them in my case with the guitar. That should help.
Hedge funds seem to interest me. Probably unrelated to what I'll accomplish, but learning more on business would be great.
Stage 6, Day 6,
I don't know what's happening to me; I enjoy classical music more, I've got a tired, mad genius vibe to me, and I've practiced my guitar for 3.5 hours today, 2 hours yesterday. That doesn't include my 30 minutes of singing every day. Needless to say, making big progress.
I started reading a French book of philosophy, so I have the double challenge of reading a literary work in French, but also contemplate the philosophical message.
This is exciting stuff; especially since I didn't feel much progress in Stage 4-5. I realized that during those stages, I was using the speaker on my iPhone (mono). I've recently hung my headphones on the bedboard to get stereo sound while I'm sleeping.
Stage 6, Day 14,
I'm looking like a grown man, but I realize that I dress like shit. I'll be figuring it out very soon..
My next 2 months are set in stone, where it wasn't before. This is exciting stuff, as I'm working in research (a field where I'm weak but will improve). It also centers around the Spanish language, so I'll work on it.
I've set my Quarter 3 goals and priorities; it's shorter than my usual "quarter" (it's only 7 weeks).
I've also got an interest in learning about logic; I'll buy or rent books on that. Same goes for social skills and audio engineering. I'll also buy basic equipment with the money I'll earn by busking.
Needless to say, I'm excited.
Stage 6, Day 15,
I'm beginning to feel a fire in my belly; I feel a faint motivation towards throwing myself towards my life goals. It may be due to the fact that I'll be moving to a bigger city in a few weeks.
I'm also realizing that several influences have an impact on my life, such as food, relationships, websites I frequent. I had junk food for lunch yesterday, and then I felt de-motivated and apathetic for a couple of hours.
Stage 6, Day 16,
Don't normally post during the week, but here goes.
I ran Stage 6 on ultrasonic at work. It was in my pocket, playing.
I quickly became disenchanted with the way I position myself (my station in life, playing small); I'm still meek with certain aspects at work. To top it off, a doctor was a dick to me. I think I've had an "I've had it" moment; I'll going to hustle until I hit a level where that doctor will grovel like a little sycophant in 5-10 years if we ever see each other again.