04-26-2015, 10:00 PM
Well, I have been away, and for some reason, I wanted to check the forum today...
It seems that lots have changed, and I had 4 private messages waiting, asking me the result. And I also have a reply on a forum asking the result.
I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, but I have not yet manifested the lover.
Yet, I wouldn't put a blame on the sub, as the fault is more on me since I have put on a halt on the journey to manifest the perfect lover.
It's been a while since I quit the sub, so I do not remember how much longer I used the sub since my last post on the forum. I believe I have used about a week or two weeks longer and decided to take a break/quit using the sub.
Here are the reasoning behind the quitting:
1. I couldn't handle the headaches I was getting from the sub. I don't know why, but it was there, and that it was getting in my academic works, so I decided to take the sub break, and it got rid of my headaches.
2. During the last week or two weeks of using the sub, I had serious internal conflict, which I believe I have been having prior to the weeks, but I realized two tings: 1. I am in a situation that conflicts with this "perfect sexual lover" and that I am not ready to manifest her... so focus on something else. 2. My doubt about having a relationship solely based on sex, or more based on sex than romance/love just grew too much that I realized that this may not be what I really wanted.
3. Continuing from the doubt, I think I realized that my choosing this sub was probably the neediness of trying to manifest the girl super fast, whether it was based on sex or romance... which I don't think was a healthy attitude to manifest perfect lover. And I realized that perhaps I should take the romantic lover instead of the sexual lover, if I were to get back to listening to the sub.
4. I wasn't sure whether the sub could work, because of the special situation I am in. --> I am diagnosed with having Asperger's syndrome, (though the doctor recommended that I take further testing from a specialist to find whether I have Asperger's for sure, and if I do, what are the causes) which I have a feeling that I may need a different approach other than sub since I remember reading someone making an inquiry about Asperger's and Shannon saying something about taking something that wouldn't be too conflicting. (I may be wrong about reading this though)
5. I realized that I will be relocating on a constant basis for several years, due to my military draft issue and moving onto graduate degree.
Perhaps all of these may be the result from my resistance, but I focused on my school work, and decided to move on with this path. Well, I got some result I suppose; I got 4 offers from graduate school, and waiting for two. Heck, from what I know, the interest I currently have requires PhD level work to even start unravel. (Based on my talk with bunch of professors at my current school, and a professor at one of the graduate schools I got accepted into.) All of these tells me that I will be very mobile perhaps for the next coming 5 years, or maybe even a decade, and I believe this is going to be a bad situation to manifest the lover, hence for not continuing to listen to the sub.
I'm again sorry to disappoint you guys, but that has been where I am at, and so far. And another funny thing that I can report is that I am feeling much less needy and feeling much more secure, as I don't feel the need to have this lover "right away". (Thought, I sometimes still suffer a bit from wanting this lover too much.)
I don't know if I will be back for the sub, or try different sub, but I may come back to see interesting developments in this forum.
Thank you for those who has had interest in me, and I hope I have relieved you from some of the curiosities.
It seems that lots have changed, and I had 4 private messages waiting, asking me the result. And I also have a reply on a forum asking the result.
I'm sorry to disappoint you guys, but I have not yet manifested the lover.
Yet, I wouldn't put a blame on the sub, as the fault is more on me since I have put on a halt on the journey to manifest the perfect lover.It's been a while since I quit the sub, so I do not remember how much longer I used the sub since my last post on the forum. I believe I have used about a week or two weeks longer and decided to take a break/quit using the sub.
Here are the reasoning behind the quitting:
1. I couldn't handle the headaches I was getting from the sub. I don't know why, but it was there, and that it was getting in my academic works, so I decided to take the sub break, and it got rid of my headaches.
2. During the last week or two weeks of using the sub, I had serious internal conflict, which I believe I have been having prior to the weeks, but I realized two tings: 1. I am in a situation that conflicts with this "perfect sexual lover" and that I am not ready to manifest her... so focus on something else. 2. My doubt about having a relationship solely based on sex, or more based on sex than romance/love just grew too much that I realized that this may not be what I really wanted.
3. Continuing from the doubt, I think I realized that my choosing this sub was probably the neediness of trying to manifest the girl super fast, whether it was based on sex or romance... which I don't think was a healthy attitude to manifest perfect lover. And I realized that perhaps I should take the romantic lover instead of the sexual lover, if I were to get back to listening to the sub.
4. I wasn't sure whether the sub could work, because of the special situation I am in. --> I am diagnosed with having Asperger's syndrome, (though the doctor recommended that I take further testing from a specialist to find whether I have Asperger's for sure, and if I do, what are the causes) which I have a feeling that I may need a different approach other than sub since I remember reading someone making an inquiry about Asperger's and Shannon saying something about taking something that wouldn't be too conflicting. (I may be wrong about reading this though)
5. I realized that I will be relocating on a constant basis for several years, due to my military draft issue and moving onto graduate degree.
Perhaps all of these may be the result from my resistance, but I focused on my school work, and decided to move on with this path. Well, I got some result I suppose; I got 4 offers from graduate school, and waiting for two. Heck, from what I know, the interest I currently have requires PhD level work to even start unravel. (Based on my talk with bunch of professors at my current school, and a professor at one of the graduate schools I got accepted into.) All of these tells me that I will be very mobile perhaps for the next coming 5 years, or maybe even a decade, and I believe this is going to be a bad situation to manifest the lover, hence for not continuing to listen to the sub.
I'm again sorry to disappoint you guys, but that has been where I am at, and so far. And another funny thing that I can report is that I am feeling much less needy and feeling much more secure, as I don't feel the need to have this lover "right away". (Thought, I sometimes still suffer a bit from wanting this lover too much.)
I don't know if I will be back for the sub, or try different sub, but I may come back to see interesting developments in this forum.
Thank you for those who has had interest in me, and I hope I have relieved you from some of the curiosities.