(06-25-2014, 10:56 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]1. The Optimus Engine changes everything you need to change to achieve the goal.
2. Women crossing their arms can be a sign that she feels vulnerable to you, and is trying to protect herself. That may be a good thing, if it's because she feels too attracted too quickly - as long as you deal with it in the right way.
3. women are not aliens, and thinking like that is what keeps you apart from them, gentlemen.
4. 50% discount for upgrades is for AM/AF/SM/WM.
Huh, so the girl might have been attracted to me a little too quickly and too much? True or not, I'm gonna believe this was the case. It's good for confidence, I suppose. (But again I wonder, is confidence based on something not verified a good thing?) And let's forget the fact that I probably didn't act in the right way. LOL
And even if I messed up, there will be other girls, and my perfect lover will come to me. And if she's the perfect one, we'll eventually meet again, and I will have another chance. Anyway, it was a good practice, which I haven't had much in my life time. Heck, it might have been the 1st real good practice to begin with. So congratulations on me.
So, apparently I don't get the 50% discount for LTU. It sucks, but that's fine, as LTU3.1 shouldn't be too difficult to purchase, if I intend to do so. (Still not too cheap, but compared with AM6, it's much easier.)
What's funny is that the more I think about it, the more I feel that my thought of getting AM6 and starting it some time near future was due to the AYPSL sub. (Well, I also have the thought of using AM6 for the military stuff since being an officer would be better off with charisma and alphaness that comes from AM6.) I wasn't that positive about getting and using AM6 before I started AYPSL, but after I started using AYPSL, I started becoming more positive about using the sub, and I am now wondering about starting it. Given these, it may be AYPSL that pushes me to start AM6, and perhaps I need AM6 to get the perfect lover I am asking for.
Since you (Shannon) said that OE changes everything I need to obtain the goal, I may not need AM6 for the goal. But it may be working on my mind to get the program I need in order to obtain that goal. Okay, this is getting too complicated for no good reason.
So, this is what I think I'm gonna do. I calculated the dates, and I see that I am getting close to 32 days mark from the start of the sub. Since this is the case, I might just use the program till the minimum suggested time on the store page, 2 months. Besides, the end of 2 months mark, or 64 days is near my birthday. So then I will have an excuse to buy myself either LTU3.1 or AM6 as a gift to myself, which probably would be the best gift I can give to myself. (If budget and time allows, I would probably get LTU3.1 first and use it for half a year, take a break and then start AM6, but that's sadly not the case here.
) And the decision to use which program, well, let's take one at a time. We'll see what I get to choose then.
Oh I nearly forgot to mention, I find that having conversation is getting easier for me, for both men and women. (And I never think women as aliens.) I also realize that I now tend to start conversation more than ever. The topic is also more diverse than my previous ones, but I would like that to be expanded further. To confirm that this is me, not the others will be done in mid July, as I have new class to start, and there will be nobody that I know of (I checked the list of people in the class.)
But if these changes are actually from me, and not because of the people around me, then I have to say, it's quite remarkable and interesting that a product that's supposed to attract my perfect sexual lover is changing me, or improving me in a very good and impressive way.
Oh yeah, I still have a few ways to go as I still couldn't have or initiate conversation with the very hot girl in the class. Part of it is that she's always having conversation with her friend in a whisper, and part of it is probably me that I still couldn't get myself to do it. Probably it has a lot to do with approach anxiety. (But come on, myself, talking to a hot girl shouldn't be any different from talking to anyone. After all, she's still a human.) And talking about the hot girl, I realize that my desire/care/attention to her is significantly less than past. If I say past was 100, it's down to at least down to 50, and maybe to 10.
Today, I had an interesting experience.
I've been meeting a chaplain for more than a year. He's like my mentor. When I first saw him, I was in a pretty fucked up situation. Well, I've been in a pretty bad shape from my grade 10 time. I had up and down movement in terms of my emotional and mental health. When I first saw him, I was totally down. To a point that just about a semester after, I ended up being in a situation that I was forced to transfer to my current place, as my wrecked emotional and mental health prevented me from doing academic work. Well, luckily this allowed me to get closer to finding the field that fits me better.
So this guy knows me pretty well. Besides, he has extensive knowledge in different religion, psychology, and culture that he's proven to be quite helpful, if not been most helpful. His diagnosis, well, he sees that all my academic problem, or any problem comes from me, and it has several elements.
First is that I've been pretty much living alone for 10 years since I was 13, or 13 and half. (Due to my studying abroad) Second, because I was studying abroad in a radically different environment, I never really got to make good friends. I may have made one or two, but because I also moved to the US (and also that one left the country) I lost all the friends I made from my study abroad experience. I also lost all the friends in my home country during the time. My parents saying not to date any girl until I get into college, (which I took it quite seriously) and being in all boys school was not very helpful either. All of these led to my being socially isolated, and not being able to develop good social skills nor relationship. Don't get me wrong, I never made any enemy, and in fact I can say that nobody ever hated me, if not everybody liked me. But I never made any good friends to talk to, hang out with, and etc.
This led to my obsession to achieve perfect academic grades, rise above anyone else, making loads of money (millions, if not billions), being successful, and absolute perfectionism in general. (which I still do in some sense that I still have pretty high standards, but not to a point that I am looking for absolute perfectness in everything) In addition, as I only had myself to really reflect to about myself, I never really developed a good self awareness either. Which the mentor thinks is the root of all the problem, and the biggest problem to deal, in addition to building friendship/relationship, and social skills.
So, the mentor I and were meeting on a regular basis to talk, and he tried to help me get better in the areas. Well, the things have been and are very difficult for both of us. And it got to a point in which I eventually quit on him, with ranting stuff, emotions probably anger. This stalemate was there for about a month or two before I began seeing him again.
I saw him about 2~3 times after the stalemate. 1st meeting had nothing to do with any of my problem, as I needed him for doing errands. (I don't have a car, and I needed to go a big shopping, which I needed his help, and also help with AC installation in my APT.) It was from the 2nd session that we started addressing the issues and starting to pick up where we left off.
And it also happened to be that I was on the sub from the 2nd session. I sorta noticed that the emotional difficulty was less. He didn't comment anything on the 2nd session. Today, I had 3rd session. I wanted to talk to him about the graduate school options, but then the topic got turned into the self awareness issue and the relationship issue. Why? Because he said that unless I can address these two, I wouldn't be able to really answer the question well. Which I do also agree, but I hoped that I would be given some practical, more tangible answers. But something remarkable happened. He said at the end of the talk that he saw a change. Whenever I am faced with stuff I don't know how to deal with, or something that pokes my emotion that creates pain (though it doesn't feel painful, but more like a difficult that I want to avoid, which I assume is one type of emotional pain,) my response would have been "I don't care" or put up walls (in my mind and emotion) and will try to divert as much as possible. But today, he said that I did say the things like "I don't care" but I stayed in moment, in the pain, faced it, and looked it. I didn't get to do it fully yet, and I will need to be able to do it, but he said that I did that.
It may be that I am able to do it as I don't have stress or burden coming from academic work. But, one thins for sure is this: this change happened after I started using the sub. The sub may not have anything to do with it. The sub could have helped me doing that. But one thing is sure, if I can do that better, being able to start to face the real problem fully, things will be better. I will probably be able to have better social skills, able to better relate to people, have great friends, achieve more successes, and ultimately, I will have a great lover, and with the help from the sub, the perfect lover.
Whether the sub is the reason for my change or not, I've seen some positive things in me. Honestly, what I expected was getting a perfect lover. I didn't expect it to have impact on my emotion and mind this much. But this makes me even wonder, what my perfect lover be like, as I know that if I get to fix the problems, it will be total boost for pretty much anything in my life. Now, I can't wait to see what my end result will be.
Yet, it's funny, as it seems that the sub is somewhat working like LTU or AM. But Shannon said that OE changes everything in me that needs to be changed to achieve the goal of the program. Perhaps fixing the problem is what's needed.
Anyway, these have been my observations today. I'll be back with more, if I have more to report back.
I went to a restaurant today, and I ordered for beer and some other food. The server didn't check my ID, never seem to bother. In the past, it used to be that anywhere I went I was asked for my ID for beer, except in a case when I went to places with my parents. (Even at times, they still asked for my ID.)
I don't remember if I wrote in previous article, but at Buffalo Wild Wings, I was asked not asked for an ID. Well, the waiter said that she remembered me, but this time, it's a different story. Sure, I've been to the restaurant several times, and I've seen the server a few times before. But this is the first time I ordered beer from him. So yeah, this is something new for me.
This may be another thing caused by the sub: may be making me look more mature than before. (It used to be that people thought me usually younger than my age.)
The OE always amazes me how it works. It's almost like it has a mind of its own, although really it's just a set of instructions that you execute. But the subconscious definitely does things in response to it that indicate a greater awareness than the conscious mind could ever hope for.
By the way, perfectionism (Hi, I'm Shannon, and I'm a perfectionist) is usually based in insecurity. I have noticed that my fears have faded over time with BAMM 2.0, and so has my terror about not being good enough. Now I am free to focus on mastery of myself within my field in an entirely different way than before.
And, go read The Millionaire Fast Lane if that is your goal.
Last but not least, if you meet your perfect sexual lover, expect to forget what school is, or why you wanted to go to class. lol
(06-28-2014, 07:26 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]By the way, perfectionism (Hi, I'm Shannon, and I'm a perfectionist) is usually based in insecurity. I have noticed that my fears have faded over time with BAMM 2.0, and so has my terror about not being good enough. Now I am free to focus on mastery of myself within my field in an entirely different way than before.
I do agree that perfectionism is usually based in insecurity. Let me give you an example. For instance, in the past, I had this idea about woman that my woman has to be absolutely perfect. She has to be perfect that her appearance has to be as good as the classical to modern top 10 beautiful women. She has to be also very smart, probably smart to the level near Albert Einstein or Leonardo Da Vinci. She also had to be as nice to or nicer than Teresa of Calcutta (or Mother Teresa) or nicer than her. And lastly, she has to love me. Well you get the idea about the absolute perfectionism I had about women, or my woman in general. But this is funny, as I used this to prevent from getting to know people, or advancing with women. Say, I saw a woman, or I interacted with one. I would think afterwords, she's not good for this, she's not good for that, she's not even remotely close to my standards and etc.... But in a reality, I was afraid of them, and I was afraid of what others would think of me for going out with a woman. I don't have this anymore, although I still do have quite a high standards for women, but not to that level. However, this is not due to the sub as this changed began happening before.
But what I can tell you the change after I began the sub is this: I am able to admit it, and I am way more comfortable talking about it in public. Heck, I am actually writing about this now in this forum, which is pretty public space.
(06-28-2014, 07:26 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]And, go read The Millionaire Fast Lane if that is your goal.
My goal is not just being a millionaire. It's part of the goal, and something I would want to be (though I'm not sure if I will be satisfied with being a millionaire, or I will want more like being a billionaire.) However, I can tell this: being a millionaire or being a billionaire is a step towards my near end goal. It will be or need to be in the middle of my journey towards the end goal. That's how I think currently. After all, I've been told that I have unusually high expectations and high standards for myself, and not very easily satisfied. Sounds like a perfectionism. This again, has a bit of fear/insecurity in it as that I think what would people judge me and my parents if I accomplish so little after sacrificing so much for that long studying abroad period. But it isn't just the insecurity or the fear that's contributing it. I genuinely want more, I genuinely want to achieve that people couldn't have achieved, or even dreamed of. I think/feel that I deserve that, and I want that. After all, I do genuinely believe that once I obtain/reach that dream/goal, it will be beneficial to others as well, if not everyone. I may be delusional here, but I don't care, nor I am willing to back down. And here,
the sub doesn't have any impact, unlike my other side of perfectionism. Perhaps, having these is a good thing, and maybe this will contribute manifesting my PSL. In the end, ambition is a good thing, as long as it doesn't hurt/destroy others, so I don't really see much problems here.
And Shannon, I appreciate your recommendation of the book. I will read it once I'm done with my reading list, which is quite large at a moment. Either way, I wouldn't be able to do anything, business wise, or career wise until I'm really done with the military fulfillment. --> I can't really pursue business due to my visa status, nor a career. I need to get that changed, but because I have to fulfill my military requirement, it's unlikely that I will be able to get anything done. So I have some time before reading the book to start building the stuff I need. Currently, I want to pursue graduate school. In fact, I will need it to take another step towards my goal, so that is another thing I am focusing on.
(06-28-2014, 07:26 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Last but not least, if you meet your perfect sexual lover, expect to forget what school is, or why you wanted to go to class. lol
And this part, I imagine would feel wonderful or very pleasurable, and yet I am scared of it. After my transfer, I've been on the Dean's Honor list three consecutive semesters, and I don't want to mess that up. Also, as I stated above, I have big dreams, call it ambitions if you will, and I don't want this to get in the way. So, I have a little dilemma here. I do want my PSL, but I don't want her getting in my way of school, and/or my goal. But to tell you the truth, I don't think I will change my decision of using AYPSL sub for another month. Then, I will probably switch it out to something else, probably to AM, LTU, or something else that will help me.
And tonight, I went to a restaurant. As usual (which was absolutely unusual before I started the sub), I sat at a bar.
I ordered Shangria from the bartender, and he gave that to me without asking me for an ID. While I enjoyed food and the drink, he came, and asked me how everything was. Using that I had conversation going for a bit, which was not normal of me in the past, but seems to be becoming normal for me after i began the sub. In the end, he asked me which college I go. This is funny. This is funny. Normally servers/bartenders need to check ID on people, who don't look like they are past age of 40. The guy on the other hand, assumed that I am a college student, which clearly indicates that I look like I am well under age of 40, and at the lowest late teenage. Given this, I feel that there's some aura coming off from me, which prevents the servers/bartenders from asking me for the ID. I don't know what it is, but this is quite fascinating.
And also there was another funny thing I noticed. I saw this hot girl working, not as a waitress but as a greeter. I didn't see her first, which made me disappointed at first. Then after I sat down at the bar, I saw her, and like last time, she was an eye candy, at least to me. But the funny thing I noticed was that after a few sips of Shangria, I saw her face again, and this time, my thought was, "Good God, you are not so good looking anymore." So, the beer goggle, (or Shangria goggle), which is supposed to lower your standards for attractive person, worked other way for me, which I find it funny.
That's it for today. And I absolutely need to change my day and night shifted life, and I need to start cleaning up the house and do the laundry.
Your post are not short to read but they cool and refreshing.
I'm noticing that I am hitting two walls that doesn't seem to change quite fast/well.
The 1st is my sleep cycle. It's been messed up since I had the mid-term exam, as I stayed up really late, and that from then, I had been sleeping in the morning till mid afternoon, and would stay up really late. This also causes me to work late night for my homework and stuff that I can't get myself to sleep early. This needs to be changed.
Second, because of this, I am finding that I am having much difficulty getting my apartment cleaned up as there is a rule about noise hours and etc. And also, my laziness level (for doing housework) doesn't seem to go down. Now this is going to be a problem. (The bad weather also added to this.)
Comgined all these, I find that I haven't done any exercises for a while, which I should resume doing it again. Since I'm pretty underweight, I can't just hit the gym, I need to do body-weight training first, and then hit the gym and do weight lifting.
I again noticed a few things today. First, it seems that my definition of what an attractive girl has changed, or is changing. I went to a restaurant (due to my laziness, I'm not cooking, and I should, to save money) and while I was eating for a while, I saw this girl, whom I thought was pretty attractive in the past. Well, she was all alone, ordered stuff and was waiting alone for that take-out to come out. If I wanted, I could have approached her. But I remember the feeling that when I saw her face, my thought was "OMG, WTF has happened to you? You are not that good looking anymore." Perhaps she didn't have a make up on. Or she may have been tired. But I think this is a change in my taste for a girl. This may be due to my transfer and changing of major, in which there are more girls than guys. (About 70~80% of my major classes are girls.) Anyway, I didn't approach her to have a chat. But even now, I think that maybe I should have, just for the sake of taking, socializing, or making a new friend. I think this can be another difference caused by the sub. Before the sub, I never had urges that made me think I should approach/talk to girls or people in general. Or at least not initiate. But now, when I reflect, I regret or thinking that I should've done that. Even if there was the urge in the past, it is not as strong as now. Which is a differnce.
The second thing I noticed is my belief about marriage and sex. This was more apparent when I was reading for my theology class, which the topic was when it is virtuous to have sex. In the very past, I thought that I should just see one girl, who will be my girlfriend and will eventually become my wife. And until I get married I shouldn't have sex. This is due to my being born and raised as a Catholic as well as my parents teachings, and that is what I had. More recent past, my thoughts became totally opposite that I was an am okay with meeting several girls before getting married, and okay with having sex. (This should be obvious with my choice of the sub, though I wouldn't mind marring my PSL, if she turns out to be a wife material, but I'm also open to meeting others as well.) However, this belief wasn't that strong. But when I was reading the book about the topic, I found that I had too much resistance to it that it was quite difficult to read the material. (You know how conservative Catholics are.) In fact, I now think that the Catholic teachings are oppressive and restrictive in a way that is preventing our growth. This is also consistent with my thought in recent past, before the starting the sub, but the intensity/strength of the thought is stronger after I began using the sub.
I went through Catholic (~10 years) and protestant (~1 year). I think every religion is restrictive in some way especially in the sexual subject. I think we are not allowed to talk about religion and politics here. There is a thread for that.
http://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-The-Ne...ion-Thread
(07-01-2014, 03:45 AM)maniac360 Wrote: [ -> ]I went through Catholic (~10 years) and protestant (~1 year). I think every religion is restrictive in some way especially in the sexual subject. I think we are not allowed to talk about religion and politics here. There is a thread for that.
http://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-The-Ne...ion-Thread
My apology for not checking the forum rules about religions prior to writing the post. If it becomes problematic, I will delete it. And just to be clear. I didn't intend to make anyone offended for their beliefs, I just wanted to write what I thought was the difference after using the sub. And again, I apologize, if someone got offended by the post.
So far today, nothing new has happened, nothing exciting to report. But the teaching of the religion turned out to be not that bad. I had a little misunderstanding, which was clarified after taking the class. Still, there's some vague stuff about it, but my negative feelings about the teachings have been somewhat changed with the better and new understanding of the teachings. (This is not to say, I totally take it, it's just to say that I understand better, feels more neutral about it, but I don't think that is ultimately my thing.)
Who knows, I may have something coming, as I am going outside to get some food.
It sounds like you have chosen a sub that conflicts with some of your major goals, because I guarantee you, your perfect sexual lover will spend your time on sex. A lot.
Also, if you're serious about manifesting her, use the program until she shows up and you're sure about it. Otherwise, don't be surprised if she doesn't show up, or she shows up at some longer than expected time into the future.
(07-02-2014, 08:05 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It sounds like you have chosen a sub that conflicts with some of your major goals, because I guarantee you, your perfect sexual lover will spend your time on sex. A lot.
Also, if you're serious about manifesting her, use the program until she shows up and you're sure about it. Otherwise, don't be surprised if she doesn't show up, or she shows up at some longer than expected time into the future.
From the beginning, and before buying the sub, one part of me was a bit concerned about possible conflict with my goals from meeting the PSL. I want sex, a lot, and I want my perfect lover too. I am pretty serious about it. Yet, am I wiling to give up my goals for that? The truth is I don't know, but I think it is more likely no that I don't want to give up on my goals. I want to have both, but it could be asking too much, I suppose.
Second, I've been thinking about this, and I was wondering if my perfect lover can be only based on sex. And I was also wondering if love in general (not the love between family, but a love between a man and woman sense) can be based only on sex for me. Honestly, I don't know, because I don't have any experience in this area. And maybe sex can't be the only factor for me. Maybe it can be. Maybe, I've chosen a wrong sub to use, and maybe not.
These thoughts are appearing more as I had a class today on Euthanasia. And it got me thinking more about all of these. Is what I am looking for really something that I am looking for? Or am I chasing an illusion that seems to be something that I want, which in reality, is not something that fulfills me wholly? (The thought also applies to my goals, dreams, and as well as what I am expecting/wanting from the sub.)
Perhaps all of these can be seen as signs of my subconscious and conscious mind resisting to the sub. Perhaps, it may be that I am genuinely having some good thoughts.
Anyway, I feel that the time may not be perfect to meet my perfect lover at the moment that I am forced to leave the country by the end of 2015 at the latest due to the military requirement. (This is absolutely fxxxed up. All my psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors think that military isn't my thing, and in fact, I wouldn't fit there. Heck, even my classmates have trouble imagining me in military, other than me being a commander or general, if they give a big if. And I'm talking about a draft here, so being a lowest ranking soldier, unless I enlist myself as an officer, which is about 1.5 times longer.) At least, I have less than a year here before I graduate, and I don't know where I will be going for the graduate school, but I will more likely be somewhere else than in this state. (Not because I hate the state, but unless I get into law, all other good schools seem to be located in the other state for the graduate programs I'm currently looking at.) Given this, it's a good question to ask whether I should continue using the sub or not.
And lastly, I have a question for Shannon. If I stop the program, and switch to some other program (let's say either AM or LTU,) will my progress of AYPSL be all gone? And if I do want to use the sub in the future to manifest the PSL, will it mean that I will be starting from the scratch again? And lastly, given that you read my journal (at least a few posts) what do you think is better fitted program for me, AM or LTU? Should I do both? Or do you have a better alternative in your mind? Maniac told me to consider LTU as AM can be too much to handle in a situation where I need to focus (I suppose my academic work can count as one), but I would also like to ask for an opinion from the creator and the master of subliminal.
And Shannon, thanks for your input, and thank you in advance for your future input.
Well I have used LTU right at my school graduating exams and it only helped with positivity and stress control. AM might be too much, because of all stress, depression it creates and adds up with exam stuff.
I would say you should still continue using this sub, perfect means perfect and in your case it means that you might part your ways till you come back, but after that you might be together again. And overall you don't have anything much to lose to continue using it for another 2-3 months, you are already 1/3 in, just continue and see there it leads! Hell it might even solve problem that you need to go to military... You never know what might happen then you involve universe and subconscious mind powers into reality.
Good luck for you!
Quote:Shannon Wrote:
It sounds like you have chosen a sub that conflicts with some of your major goals, because I guarantee you, your perfect sexual lover will spend your time on sex. A lot.
I have an AYP on my list for 2015. But this (what Shannon wrote) is making me have second thoughts about using one of these.
Would AYP be a wise choice for me (see below)?
My vision (relating to sex) is to have sex once every 2 - 4 weeks.
To me, the idea of having sex every few days (or sooner) disturbs me.
At the moment career (and working towards being financially independent) is extremely important to me / taking up the majority of my time.
My living situation is in a small unit, sharing to be able to afford the rent / bills, and not having much privacy (I have my own room, but my flatmate is present most the time - he works at home).
Is it reasonable to use an AYP program and only see the other person one day (maybe night) every 2 - 4 weeks?