Subliminal Talk

Right or wrong value-decision-taking?

I've first recently started to take considerate more actions that are in alignment with my values.

And I get tested very often in various ways.

I had doubts after I did something for a girl yesterday night, that if it actually was a great decision for the person I aspire to be.

But then I thought again and there were some paradoxes in the ways I was thinking (and the new ways I am thinking of myself).

Situation:
Nightclub 2AM - Group of girls and a few friends at the small table - Intimate social distance

I had one of those nights where my brain was shut down. I just wanted to totally relax with a girl. Compared to the night before (where I was full of creativity and energy), I was a big newbie with taking initiative.

Back to the table, I walked over in between two girls (one which was pretty attractive and the other not so much). Just stood there said "hi" three times or so to the less attractive one because I found the situation funny.

Really interesting experience for reinforcing the mindset of "There's no reason I'm not enough".

After 5-10 minutes after telling her to give me a kiss several times (kissed me only on the chin since her friends could see her) I said, "lets go for a romantic walk in the bar"

She complied gladly.

We found a seat and got intimate.

After a while I told her to go home with me. Her frame was pretty non-existent. She said "no I cant, got work in 5 hours".

More intimacy.

I said, lets go to my place and she agreed.

But then I realized something.

That she was too drunk. Yeah.. didn't think much before that.

So I said, "you know what.. you are too drunk.. I think it's a better idea if you go home".

She agreed.

So we went back to the table with her friends (she walked in zigzags and I had to put my arm around her almost all the time to prevent her from going into objects lol) but they were not to be seen.

And so my little doubts here was that I told her very naturally "I'm following you to the train-station"
and she was happy for that.

My mind thought it was the right gentleman thing to do.

We got our jackets and exchanged names.

So I held her all the way through the 15 minutes walk to the station and waited another 10 min for her train to come.

Say farewell and walked back towards the club, calling my friends.

They were on their way home so I thought fvck it. I got some intimacy as I wanted and it was really relaxed which spoke to me that night.

Conflict:

Few of my values:
- I'm a giver of value

- I am a gentleman and I treat every person as I want to be treated.

- I'm not judgmental because people are different and have different views.

- I do not put my focus on physical beauty as the value-factor.

- I am ambitious and I am constantly taking steps to better myself.

- I'm coolest motherfvcker on this planet, as far as I'm concerned

#1 Frame of mind:
So I'm a gentleman and it was the right thing to do and it was also really easy and smooth which was a perfect alignment with my mood that night.

#2 Frame of mind:
BUT I deserve much more beautiful women. I could have interacted with the more beautiful girl that was just at my left side.
I could have challenged myself into uncomfortable situations instead.

#1
I'm acting out of principle to lead the girl to the train-station. She hasn't said much but she's cute and relaxed and I don't want any BS tonight. This feels comfortable.

#2
I'm so awesome. I gave the girl what she wanted, to make out with me in her drunkenness. That's enough. I do not even know her name.
Lets use this momentum to hook up with girls of my physical beauty standard who probably will be more challenging so I can grow.

Main thought and theme of our little adventure: Do you want to be my friend? I want a friend. You would be a good friend for me.

And I was honest. Not a girl I would date. What happened, happened. I got caught in the opportunity of having a relaxed, smooth, intimate adventure with a cute face...

It's kinda messy. If you can relate, please share your thoughts.

No idea what you're saying here, nor what you're after. For me, the bottom line has become results that I want. If I'm not getting those, I change whatever I need to until I do.

Internal morality or feelings are all fine and dandy, but they don't amount to a whole lot. Know what I mean?

So yeah, what do you want?

(08-25-2013, 03:32 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]No idea what you're saying here, nor what you're after. For me, the bottom line has become results that I want. If I'm not getting those, I change whatever I need to until I do.

Internal morality or feelings are all fine and dandy, but they don't amount to a whole lot. Know what I mean?

So yeah, what do you want?

That wasn't much of a constructive post about value conflicts that I'm talking about but I could extract something good from it. Thanks.

STAGE 2 - DAY 10 - Weird things happening

Well hello there you intelligent, smart and charmingly sexy man.

How's it going?

Here things has been weird lately.

Not sure what this means exactly.

But damn it is weird!

Here's what's been happening lately:

- I meet people I've known before very often and I meet them at places I usually do not go to (or go to but have never met them before at the place). And it is in the strangest coincidences.

- I'm lending my room to a good man, who is a very experienced traveller and a very experienced seducer, for one night to crash.

- Today I stood at traffic light, waiting to pass and this Indian security dude who stood beside me said "it's a very nice mustache you got".

- Today I've decided to invest 6000 DKR, which is around 1000$ on a project where you sell coffee machines (that you buy yourself for the money) and have specific designed coffee for the machines that the customer subscribes for.

It's said to be the best coffee in DK.
The Michelin restaurants serves this kind.

These are some of the things I can remember right now that is not usually normal for me.

About what I've noticed feeling lately:

- Yesterday I felt very uneasy and I was at the library, studying and between 16-19 I felt like sex, sex, SEX!
It was very difficult to concentrate when a girl was in my view.

- I've sincerely been feeling like not giving a fvck where I walk. I intentionally walk like "bump into me. I want challenge". People move to the side most of the time.

- I'm more grounded and are less affected by external things.

I often laugh because of myself.

- Procrastination has become very annoying and I do not want to witness or be part of it at all.

- Talking to strangers is very easy when I decide to and I've become less and less caring about the outcome and direction.

That's it.
Later you smart man.

-JL

I'm really going through a phase of grounding.

An air of "challenge me" is what I'm sensing constantly.

Having a lots of doubts with this lately but it's mostly internal and people don't notice this but only me.

Also about what I initially intended, to be more social and meet new guys but I've noticed so many lame dudes that only few guys who are by themselves seems cool and chill enough to befriend.

It's also a bit contradicting with this new sense of feeling like not giving a fvck throughout my day but at the same time to be open and socialize with other guys I don't know.

Had one of those lethal regrets today where a fvcking cute girl make eye-contact, looks down and smiles twice but because of social pressure, and I was thinking about not hurting the other girl beside me and next to her, that I wasn't able to speak to her.

Fvck that shit.

There's the life-long test
that happens all the time,
if you are aware,
where you think in the moment
"what am I doing?"
and
"am I expressing myself?"

'what am I doing' could come from a paradigm of,
"is what I'm doing right now what I REALLY want?"
or
"am I leading this interaction in a direction I want?"

'am I expressing myself enough?' could come from a paradigm of,
"I'm not enough."

By the evidence of my experiences, it is as simple as (small-talking) and leading and inviting the girl.

All the expressing, high-energy kind of thing is really not needed. It can easily communicate that "you are not enough".

Where an alpha-males paradigm is "There's no reason I'm not enough".

(08-28-2013, 11:03 AM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Where an alpha-males paradigm is "There's no reason I'm not enough".

True enough. An Alpha Male doesn't have to do anything for anyone. He does it all for himself.

Cool you noticed this.

I had the same thing at work today. Women are always around and I feel the desire to be able to make things happen, but the fear and shame to not go past "my place". I hope to correct this soon.

What's up!

What's that.. your eyeballs are shining today.

It's been a long time.

I've been SO busy.
Feeling like I finally can relax as I'm writing this.

My day has looked like this

Food + Nutrition --> 2xMeetings --> More Food + Nutrition --> Missed Kungfu class --> Gym --> Writing this post --> Gonna reflect on what's going on in my life and how I can plan my busy schedule more efficiently.


STAGE 2 - DAY 19 - Busy as hell and feeling lonely


Recently I've contacted a lot of people I've know from before and have spent time with each of them BUT I've got the lonely feeling again.

I do not know why I feel this now that I've interacted with many people that I've known.

It feels like I'm more open to "connect in our brokenness".

Some kind of sadness that is surging for people to understand me.

But people are so concerned with their own doubts and don't really listen.

But one thing has definitely changed.

I'm more sure than ever that there's no reason why I'm not enough.

So I feel confident in being very honest with what I want and not attached to the outcome.

It's strange...

To feel understood is something that is so rare.

Yet you cannot be desperate about what you really want.

And the world only cares about what you can do for it.

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person

(09-05-2013, 01:28 PM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person

Thank you for this.

As much as I agree with everything the guy says, it sparked something inside me. I want to move forward too, so I'm bookmarking this and will read it every time I feel I have a loss of direction.

STAGE 2 - DAY 22 - Ridicules fun & drunk on life


Yo

My brain is still feeling drunk

So it's gonna be a bit hazy but whatever

Last night was fvcking crazy fun.

It was not until I began to block out things that didn't contribute to my movie that I could let go and not give a fvck!

Because then you use ALL of your ENERGY on the MOMENT and on THINGS that matters. You keep staying present and all the bullshit just swiftly pass by your mind without a second thought.

BOOM

I realize that when set visions about how you would like your life to look like, you must not seek it. You gotta accept your current situation FULLY and then take steps towards what you've envisioned with ease and action.

Enough about the philosophy.

Lets get into ACTION.

Most people are too serious. They always want to show off. Especially in front of girls.

- I almost got in a fight with a tall, big, dark, scar-faced, aggressive dude by saying "I love you" to some girls and lightly pushing his friend away because he stood right in front of me, invading my space, so I couldn't see the girls (the situation compared to his reaction was ridicules).
The tall dude, came from nowhere and had his forehead on mine and said something really aggressive. I took a step back, opened my arms up and said, "hey, I don't wanna fight". Emotionally nothing changed, which I found pretty cool. Immediately some security people came and pulled the guy away.

- My Bulgarian friend and me who were having the most fun of all in the classy bar. An Asian dude in suit walk past me and looks at me like I was trash.

Ridicules.

I had so much fun with my friend so being confrontational with some douchebags wasn't an option. Well, it was but that would destroy the mood and we don't want them to influence our moods because they aren't worth it.

- I would tell a girl that she's my date for tonight.

- I pretended to be a retard and stammer while I spoke.

- I would give ridiculously made gifts of torn in pieces promotion-cards to girls and say very sincerely "this is for you, I've put my heart-work in this".

- I would say "like a dog" in the first 30 seconds of an interaction, every time she answered my question.
For example,
me: what's your name?
her: melissa
me: like a dog, so where you are from?
her: denmark
me: like a dog, so how's your night?

- I would say "I think I'm lost. My psychologist told me to go to this mental institution but I'm not sure if it's here".

The bar was really a playground for us.

We got high and drunk on people and it became hard to slow down and connect with the girls after they got very intrigued and asked us questions.
Even when two fine girls asked if we wanted to leave go to another bar with them.

Gotta cultivate this high to include more girls into it...


By being very busy and focusing on the wrong stuff
I had forgotten how it _FELT_ like to not give a fvck.

Last night was an excellent reminder.

Today I had an after-glow..
And still drunk, somehow.

Yeah.

Planning the following week --> Game the wall --> Watch an episode of family guy --> Meditate --> Bed

Yep.
That's it.
All out.

- JL

Heck yea! you're kickin' ass bro. I've been fairly quiet in your thread because I don't ever need to say anything. Your progress inspires me to be me!

What kind of results in the women department have you been having LM? Any lays yet? Sounds like all you do is bounce around and feel good about life, but I don't ever see you close.

Today I decided to make a video instead:

http://youtu.be/H-uG1APfrVM

Enjoy.

Please hit me back with comments and how you experienced my video.

============================================

External source about energy draining vampires

I find this video fvcking cool!

Why thinking messes up your free-flowing energy.



Thanks for checking this out & I'll talk to you soon!

- JL

I clicked your video link but it says that your video is listed as private. I cannot watch it.

same here

Oups! Should be updated now.