Subliminal Talk

(07-26-2013, 05:19 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I used to think like you, then I realized I would rather be poor and fulfilled than rich and empty.

So then I take it there's no way to be rich and fulfilled? I certainly see that future for myself. Black and white thinking isn't usually very effective.

(07-26-2013, 05:29 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]So then I take it there's no way to be rich and fulfilled? I certainly see that future for myself. Black and white thinking isn't usually very effective.

Gotta have your priorities straight first my friend. It's only then that we can excel.

Naturally. But it's always possible.

(07-26-2013, 06:00 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Naturally. But it's always possible.

Well of course, and that's kind of what prompted my response.

Too often I was told "Well, artists don't make money. You can still be happy/fulfilled with a job that WILL get you money."

In which case it's all backwards to me. Instead of trying to make my millions by doing something I loved, I was told to make my millions and then try and love the life that resulted from that.

So of course, one CAN be rich and fulfilled, but I opt for the road of passion. Do what you love, and make money doing it. Isn't that the ultimate life?

I don't have a million dollars in the bank, but I am very rich. There are ways other than dollar bills to measure wealth. How am I wealthy? Well, I have freedom. I get up when I please, I go to sleep when I please, I work when, where and on what I please, and for as long as I please. I eat what I please, with whom I please. I spend my time with whom I please. I can take a day off whenever I like, or a week, or a month. This sort of freedom is very unusual, and definitely a source of wealth. I also own millions worth of IP, and half of this company and another one outright.

Mat, you can make money by selling your stuff directly to the audience online, and turn it into residual income. You don't necessarily need a producer or label of you know how to do those jobs yourself. And if not, find someone who does to help you. Turn it into your own business by supplying those who want what you create with what you love to create, and they love to have.

This gives you freedom, income and wealth... and eventually, done right, monetary wealth.

(07-26-2013, 05:19 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-26-2013, 05:10 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]I'm just not sure where it could actually lead me though. You can't really make a living off of being an artist unless you are exceptionally talented and you know the right people. I just have to keep exploring possible options. Music is a really strong part of my life, if I don't get a chance to make music I feel like something is missing.

It's a bad feedback loop I've got though. I'll be depressed which makes it harder for me to enjoy things, so I can't do them, but because I can't do them I get more depressed. I'm trying though.

I used to think like you, then I realized I would rather be poor and fulfilled than rich and empty.

Also, you need to realize what is in your hands. Talent? Sure some are born with it, but you can always improve your skills.

Knowing the right people? All it takes are social skills, which can be learned and improved.

I myself am a long way from achieving what I want to in life, but I'm going for it because there's nothing else to live for. When you get to that place, you'll find your path. It may not be music, but you'll know it when you get real with yourself.

Have you seen Fight Club by any chance? Aside from being a great movie, there's one particular scene in it that really illustrates what I'm talking about. It's the scene Where Tyler Durden pulls a gun on an asian convenience store clerk and tells the guy he will kill him unless he goes back to school to finish becoming a veterinarian.

Watch the movie, and put yourself in that man's shoes. If you'd rather die than pursue your life's calling, then it probably isn't your life's calling. On the flip side, if you're willing to die while pursuing that same thing, it definitely is.

I've seen Fight Club, I know the exact scene you are talking about. Believe me I've been over those kinds of thoughts in my head all the time. Since high school when the pressure was to go to college. Something felt wrong about all of it, something felt wrong about all the ways people kept pushing others to do the same thing out of fear. It's taken me a while to break away from that influence. I think I haven't really found myself yet either, too many years of fear stunted my own growth.

(07-26-2013, 08:41 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I don't have a million dollars in the bank, but I am very rich. There are ways other than dollar bills to measure wealth. How am I wealthy? Well, I have freedom. I get up when I please, I go to sleep when I please, I work when, where and on what I please, and for as long as I please. I eat what I please, with whom I please. I spend my time with whom I please. I can take a day off whenever I like, or a week, or a month. This sort of freedom is very unusual, and definitely a source of wealth. I also own millions worth of IP, and half of this company and another one outright.

Mat, you can make money by selling your stuff directly to the audience online, and turn it into residual income. You don't necessarily need a producer or label of you know how to do those jobs yourself. And if not, find someone who does to help you. Turn it into your own business by supplying those who want what you create with what you love to create, and they love to have.

This gives you freedom, income and wealth... and eventually, done right, monetary wealth.

I've thought about it Shannon. If I could live a life like that, it would make my life worth living for. But I'm so stuck. I don't like saying I can't do something, there's always a way. I could give myself a schedule or deadlines to force myself to get better. But then I'm worried if the one thing I love will turn into something I hate. And part of it is probably all the conditioning I've felt that it's not "realistic". Also I've probably got some serious money issues, like not valuing myself enough to make money from my music. So many things are still holding me back and I've got so much anxiety lately because I just feel overwhelmed. And I can't brute force this, I've tried that for years and all it gets me is more frustration. I'm not giving up, but at the same time I feel like I'm paralyzed and going insane. I don't expect life to be easy or to skip out on hard work, but I just feel like maybe it isn't supposed to be this hard.

Couldn't resist ... Anyway...

(07-27-2013, 10:30 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not giving up, but at the same time I feel like I'm paralyzed and going insane. I don't expect life to be easy or to skip out on hard work, but I just feel like maybe it isn't supposed to be this hard.

I know the feeling, honestly. And I definitely think there's a difference between work that is hard because it takes effort vs work that is hard because it goes against our grain.

Either way, try to stay true to yourself. Find the motives behind what you do/believe/want.

(07-27-2013, 11:51 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

Couldn't resist ... Anyway...

(07-27-2013, 10:30 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not giving up, but at the same time I feel like I'm paralyzed and going insane. I don't expect life to be easy or to skip out on hard work, but I just feel like maybe it isn't supposed to be this hard.

I know the feeling, honestly. And I definitely think there's a difference between work that is hard because it takes effort vs work that is hard because it goes against our grain.

Either way, try to stay true to yourself. Find the motives behind what you do/believe/want.

Haha, I think I played that game. Technology has come a long way.

It's hard to tell sometimes. Especially when I feel like everything is going against the grain. But I decided to push myself more when it comes to music. It's a skill like anything else, I have to practice and I'm inevitably going to have some bad times. I've definitely got procrastination issues, I feel like I'm always dreading the days when my upsets knock me back into depression. So even though the successful things make me feel good, the negative always tends to weigh heavy on my mind.

(07-28-2013, 10:33 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Haha, I think I played that game. Technology has come a long way.

It's hard to tell sometimes. Especially when I feel like everything is going against the grain. But I decided to push myself more when it comes to music. It's a skill like anything else, I have to practice and I'm inevitably going to have some bad times. I've definitely got procrastination issues, I feel like I'm always dreading the days when my upsets knock me back into depression. So even though the successful things make me feel good, the negative always tends to weigh heavy on my mind.

Totally agree. It's like next to impossible to be mostly positive it seems. I'm noticing I've got huge guilt shame and fear issues that I just want gone. I can't imagine life on the good side of things. I definitely feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle and the easiest thing to do is just let go and slip.

But all we can do is dominate our minds and experiences with what we know will bring us into a better light. For you, that seems to be music, so make sure you spend a lot of your free time on it. I imagine you'll see some improvements in no time.

How long did you spend making music before all this?

(07-28-2013, 01:10 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-28-2013, 10:33 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Haha, I think I played that game. Technology has come a long way.

It's hard to tell sometimes. Especially when I feel like everything is going against the grain. But I decided to push myself more when it comes to music. It's a skill like anything else, I have to practice and I'm inevitably going to have some bad times. I've definitely got procrastination issues, I feel like I'm always dreading the days when my upsets knock me back into depression. So even though the successful things make me feel good, the negative always tends to weigh heavy on my mind.

Totally agree. It's like next to impossible to be mostly positive it seems. I'm noticing I've got huge guilt shame and fear issues that I just want gone. I can't imagine life on the good side of things. I definitely feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle and the easiest thing to do is just let go and slip.

But all we can do is dominate our minds and experiences with what we know will bring us into a better light. For you, that seems to be music, so make sure you spend a lot of your free time on it. I imagine you'll see some improvements in no time.

How long did you spend making music before all this?

I know that feeling all too well. I'm always on one extreme or the other. Slipping up and feeding that feeling vs suppressing my emotions too much. I'm starting to find a balance, but it's really tricky. Both habits are unhealthy.

Prior to this I was off and on with music. I'd have periods where I was motivated to get better and gave it my all, and I'd have periods where I just couldn't bring myself to create. I always saw it as more of a hobby, so I never took it seriously. It was a cop out because I told myself I didn't have to work so hard, it's better that I just enjoyed it. But it was just me avoiding all those negative feelings and perfectionist type thinking.

(07-28-2013, 04:19 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Prior to this I was off and on with music. I'd have periods where I was motivated to get better and gave it my all, and I'd have periods where I just couldn't bring myself to create. I always saw it as more of a hobby, so I never took it seriously. It was a cop out because I told myself I didn't have to work so hard, it's better that I just enjoyed it. But it was just me avoiding all those negative feelings and perfectionist type thinking.

Yeah I hear ya. I've wondered this about myself. I tend not to do things unless I can be sure of a "good" outcome, which I know hinders me immensely. It also makes it easy for me to get discouraged because when I find a good way to get "perfect" at something, the bar is so incredibly far off I just lose motivation. It seems too far away.

I don't exactly know how to go about becoming easier on yourself and allowing for non-perfect things to happen. To me, it's like settling for mediocrity, but when you don't talk to people or women because you gotta be perfect first, then I think it's a problem. Most of all, I'd just like to be able to do my thing and be ok with it, but I know that leads to mediocrity as well.

When you come from a background where doing what you want to means you go no where in life, I find it next to impossible to believe I can ever enjoy myself again.

On a brighter note, I plan to join a club next weekend, hope to meet new people without losing myself but we'll see.

This is a cool thread

My 2p on the time question is this: it exists only as perception, a linear representation of the eternal Now.

Quantum theory postulates the existence of all possible realities, simultaneously. Therefore, when we experience 'change', we are experiencing another moment of Now, only from a different perspective.

If Time = Change, the change is actually a sort of jump to another Now, which exists anyway. Apparently ...

And here's an article I wrote a couple of years ago that addresses the whole Something from Nothing thing ... along with some other bits

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[Removed in violation of Rule 4. I suggest you familiarize yourself with our rules and follow them. - Shannon]

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(07-28-2013, 06:00 PM)n0ddy Wrote: [ -> ]This is a cool thread

My 2p on the time question is this: it exists only as perception, a linear representation of the eternal Now.

Quantum theory postulates the existence of all possible realities, simultaneously. Therefore, when we experience 'change', we are experiencing another moment of Now, only from a different perspective.

If Time = Change, the change is actually a sort of jump to another Now, which exists anyway. Apparently ...

Interesting. Stuff like this ties my brain in knots though haha. It's good to contemplate from time to time. So change I guess would be more about shifting onto a different reality. Pretty wild when you think about it.

Got home from work today exhausted. I'd been thinking about working on music and practicing to get better. No doubt I'm passionate about it. I love creating music. But I sat down today and forced myself to make something. During that time I experienced a lot of issues. One was, NOTHING sounded right. It's like my brain was playing tricks on me. Two, I just wasn't enjoying the process, my heart didn't feel in it. Three, my flow was just off, just a huge creative block, it took me ages to get something to a point where I thought it was decent.

So after that experience I asked myself. Do I keep pushing? Do I keep forcing myself to make things despite not feeling like my heart is in it? In the end I feel like it made my depression worse because I felt like I couldn't get anything right.

I just don't know what's the right way to go about this. I know I have to practice more. I know artists go through ups and downs in any medium, but the numbing of my brain ruins my ability to vibe with the music.

I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe forcing it isn't the best option, especially if it results in lackluster results.