Subliminal Talk

(12-07-2013, 06:56 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]This is just me, but sometimes you can't control what happens. We're only human, we aren't gods. I am very controlling and it's a habit I've been trying to break. It may sound like giving myself over to chance/fate, but I see it more as accepting things for what they are and addressing them instead of being so in denial I make no progress. Similar to the scene in Fight Club where he tells him to let go of the wheel. But it could just be me swinging to the other extreme, maybe I just haven't reached equilibrium yet.

I know what you're saying. Unfortunately my goals aren't as simple as just getting more women. I'm struggling with living in this world. I feel like I'm behind all the time and I can't catch up. I don't know how to describe it, but it's become a chore to live life. The negatives seem to be outweighing the positives. I'm working on this, but like I said it's getting serious. Every day I've been waking up with anxiety because I'm worried that I won't be able to support myself or I'm one step away from a complete mental breakdown.

I love that scene in Fight Club, but I find it empowering rather than "letting go".

Have you tried FEFT at all or read Geodude's posts?

I gotta say, unless you are imprisoned against your will or something else beyond your control, EVERYTHING you experience IS in your control, and is a direct result of your beliefs/mindset.

I myself used to have depression. I was given anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, all manner of drugs for it. I even went to a psychologist for my depression that I had for well over 10 years (can't remember the exact amount of time, it started after a near-death experience/traumatic experience I had when I was 8 years old, and got worse with time) so, believe me when I say that I KNOW when things are bad and we have no control over them.

My response was much the same as yours, I feared losing control again so I became controlling, closed off, and isolate. Depression sank in hard and I became suicidal. This all happened from ages 8-12.

When I decided suicide was not an option (because I felt no one would care about losing me, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of having me out of their lives. Yes, it was THAT bad) I lived life as a brainless delinquent. Worked at a fast-food place instead of going to university, and had no ambition nor care to ever move on with my life.

Over the next few years, after my uncle brought me into his company, I slowly made the changes till it hit me one day that I was SICK of being depressed, sick of being a victim, and wanted a GOOD life.

I didn't see any proof or hope that my life could get better, but I decided it WOULD because I was not going to let it control me anymore.

As time went on, I learned about things that helped put me back in control of my life, and here I am now.

So, unless you have a story worse than mine (and EVEN if you do) there is no reason you can't have EVERYTHING you want. You just have to look for ways to achieve it.

Heck, I've even heard of Jews who survived death camps who come back to lead productive and happy lives. If they can do it, so can we, especially with subliminals, FEFT and all this other stuff that no one knew about back then.

It's ALL in your mind dude, seriously. Learn how to effect the change, there's nothing else.

The whole reason you post on here is because, deep down, you believe there is a way out of this, or you wouldn't still be searching. Don't use your searching as a road block, use it as a force to drive you to excel.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our demons, but demons exist so that we can overcome them, NOT to keep us down.

Depression exists because of something WRONG, not because it wants to keep you from doing right.

It's a SIGNAL to action, not a muzzle.

Hope this helps.


EDIT: Here's a video from an FEFT practitioner about how people dwell on what they say they don't like.

If you have no understanding of FEFT it's ok, I think just what he says about how people focus on what they say they hate is enough to maybe show you a different way to look at your issues.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wr_gMVIeuI

(12-07-2013, 08:39 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-07-2013, 06:56 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]This is just me, but sometimes you can't control what happens. We're only human, we aren't gods. I am very controlling and it's a habit I've been trying to break. It may sound like giving myself over to chance/fate, but I see it more as accepting things for what they are and addressing them instead of being so in denial I make no progress. Similar to the scene in Fight Club where he tells him to let go of the wheel. But it could just be me swinging to the other extreme, maybe I just haven't reached equilibrium yet.

I know what you're saying. Unfortunately my goals aren't as simple as just getting more women. I'm struggling with living in this world. I feel like I'm behind all the time and I can't catch up. I don't know how to describe it, but it's become a chore to live life. The negatives seem to be outweighing the positives. I'm working on this, but like I said it's getting serious. Every day I've been waking up with anxiety because I'm worried that I won't be able to support myself or I'm one step away from a complete mental breakdown.

I love that scene in Fight Club, but I find it empowering rather than "letting go".

Have you tried FEFT at all or read Geodude's posts?

I gotta say, unless you are imprisoned against your will or something else beyond your control, EVERYTHING you experience IS in your control, and is a direct result of your beliefs/mindset.

I myself used to have depression. I was given anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, all manner of drugs for it. I even went to a psychologist for my depression that I had for well over 10 years (can't remember the exact amount of time, it started after a near-death experience/traumatic experience I had when I was 8 years old, and got worse with time) so, believe me when I say that I KNOW when things are bad and we have no control over them.

My response was much the same as yours, I feared losing control again so I became controlling, closed off, and isolate. Depression sank in hard and I became suicidal. This all happened from ages 8-12.

When I decided suicide was not an option (because I felt no one would care about losing me, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of having me out of their lives. Yes, it was THAT bad) I lived life as a brainless delinquent. Worked at a fast-food place instead of going to university, and had no ambition nor care to ever move on with my life.

Over the next few years, after my uncle brought me into his company, I slowly made the changes till it hit me one day that I was SICK of being depressed, sick of being a victim, and wanted a GOOD life.

I didn't see any proof or hope that my life could get better, but I decided it WOULD because I was not going to let it control me anymore.

As time went on, I learned about things that helped put me back in control of my life, and here I am now.

So, unless you have a story worse than mine (and EVEN if you do) there is no reason you can't have EVERYTHING you want. You just have to look for ways to achieve it.

Heck, I've even heard of Jews who survived death camps who come back to lead productive and happy lives. If they can do it, so can we, especially with subliminals, FEFT and all this other stuff that no one knew about back then.

It's ALL in your mind dude, seriously. Learn how to effect the change, there's nothing else.

The whole reason you post on here is because, deep down, you believe there is a way out of this, or you wouldn't still be searching. Don't use your searching as a road block, use it as a force to drive you to excel.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our demons, but demons exist so that we can overcome them, NOT to keep us down.

Depression exists because of something WRONG, not because it wants to keep you from doing right.

It's a SIGNAL to action, not a muzzle.

Hope this helps.


EDIT: Here's a video from an FEFT practitioner about how people dwell on what they say they don't like.

If you have no understanding of FEFT it's ok, I think just what he says about how people focus on what they say they hate is enough to maybe show you a different way to look at your issues.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wr_gMVIeuI

Haven't tried it. Honestly I'm really put off by a lot of self help techniques these days. But I watched that video and it seems like something I can actually get behind. So I'll look into it more.

Don't get me wrong I'm not giving up. I'm just trying something different. This stuff has gotten too out of hand for me to manage on my own. I've been at this self help thing since I was 14 and I'm 22 now. Clearly something isn't working and I'd be a fool not to take a different approach.

I've never once doubted that there was a way out of this, I've always had hope for a better life. The problem has always been just reaching that. Even when things are bad I know there's an answer and that keeps me going.

Tried FEFT. So far it seems to do something. I was making some music and I noticed the feelings that popped up and tapped on those. It kind of got me into more of a flow, less self doubt. It just made me realize how badly distorted my thoughts are when I'm making music. It could be something really good but I just think it's crap.

Now I've been through stuff like this before. The one mistake I always make is getting way too excited and ahead of myself. So this time I'm just gonna keep using it and see what happens. It's pretty good so far, just curious to see how far it can actually take me.

Something I realized though with a lot of this inner work. It seems like when I think of life I think of it as pain and struggle. Anything I do really. So if I'm always operating out of that mindset everything is gonna look hard. It's the difference between doing and trying. Trying implies that there is a struggle, that something is standing in your way. In my case whatever emotional baggage I still haven't cleared up. Doing is when you get that crap out of the way and you can just do something. It's too soon to tell, but I think when I force myself to make music for the sake of improving I know it will be good for me. But the negative thoughts cause resistance and that's what makes it difficult. If I can clear out all that negativity it's like it kind of just happens, there's no trying, there's only action. That goes for anything really I guess.

(12-08-2013, 10:01 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Haven't tried it. Honestly I'm really put off by a lot of self help techniques these days. But I watched that video and it seems like something I can actually get behind. So I'll look into it more.

Don't get me wrong I'm not giving up. I'm just trying something different. This stuff has gotten too out of hand for me to manage on my own. I've been at this self help thing since I was 14 and I'm 22 now. Clearly something isn't working and I'd be a fool not to take a different approach.

I've never once doubted that there was a way out of this, I've always had hope for a better life. The problem has always been just reaching that. Even when things are bad I know there's an answer and that keeps me going.

When trying to solve a problem, look for the common denominator.

Well I'm unemployed now and today instead of dealing with all that anxiety and feelings of hopelessness, I took action with FEFT. For pretty much 3 hours straight.

I gotta say my primary coping mechanism is distraction. TV, music, internet, food, whatever. Anything to distance myself from my emotions. And I realized today I've been in heavy denial. The most common advice I got growing up was to just take action, have a plan, keep pushing, face the fear, etc. You get the picture. Eventually I locked up every single painful memory I had and just ran from them. Anytime something popped up and bothered me I'd just focus on the future instead, which unsurprisingly caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. At first I thought it was the future itself. But I realized today it's my past being projected into the future and living through that filter.

So one by one I went back to these memories. And it was painful. I just wanted to quit mid session because I felt going any deeper I'd start uprooting a lot worse stuff. It's crazy how detached you can become to your emotions and not even realize their effect on you.

I cleared out a lot of stuff today. I'm by no means cured, but when I look to the future and notice negativity, I know to go into my past again and clear out more stuff. Honestly, nothing traumatic happened to me compared to other individuals. But I've always been incredibly sensitive and I believe that I've been impacted by these past memories more than I think.

As far as FEFT goes. I'm a harsh critic and this is the first healing tool I've come across that actually makes sense to me. I've been watching Robert's videos and it's amazing to watch him in action because he knows what he's doing. I'll continue exploring FEFT.

(12-09-2013, 12:19 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Well I'm unemployed now and today instead of dealing with all that anxiety and feelings of hopelessness, I took action with FEFT. For pretty much 3 hours straight.

I gotta say my primary coping mechanism is distraction. TV, music, internet, food, whatever. Anything to distance myself from my emotions. And I realized today I've been in heavy denial. The most common advice I got growing up was to just take action, have a plan, keep pushing, face the fear, etc. You get the picture. Eventually I locked up every single painful memory I had and just ran from them. Anytime something popped up and bothered me I'd just focus on the future instead, which unsurprisingly caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. At first I thought it was the future itself. But I realized today it's my past being projected into the future and living through that filter.

So one by one I went back to these memories. And it was painful. I just wanted to quit mid session because I felt going any deeper I'd start uprooting a lot worse stuff. It's crazy how detached you can become to your emotions and not even realize their effect on you.

I cleared out a lot of stuff today. I'm by no means cured, but when I look to the future and notice negativity, I know to go into my past again and clear out more stuff. Honestly, nothing traumatic happened to me compared to other individuals. But I've always been incredibly sensitive and I believe that I've been impacted by these past memories more than I think.

As far as FEFT goes. I'm a harsh critic and this is the first healing tool I've come across that actually makes sense to me. I've been watching Robert's videos and it's amazing to watch him in action because he knows what he's doing. I'll continue exploring FEFT.

I'm glad you took some action, which is the same as dealing with your feelings imo. After 3 hours, you probably feel like a whole new person I'd imagine!

Just remember, whatever you believe strongly is true, same goes for what will work and what will not. How long it will take, and everything.

There's a video where Robert from FEFT talks about a guy that came to him. The man said to Robert "Affirmations DON'T work!"

and Robert replied "Well that one seems to be working for YOU."

You get the idea.

Once you realize how much you control yourself, the power you have becomes limitless.

Keep up the good work though, I'm glad you were able to make the shift and push through.

mat422 - reading what you wrote made my day. great to hear about your tapping progress and your investment in yourself. you'll have 10x a better experience in your next job, too, with this investment in your personal growth.

Thanks guys.

On a side note I came across something that really made sense. It has to do with trauma. I haven't read too in depth yet, but the gist of it is that we humans get stuck in trauma. From there we operate out of really really basic instinct. That good ol fight or flight response. When you get stuck in trauma it makes life infinitely difficult because your logical brain is telling you to move forward while your more reptillian brain is telling you to either run, freeze, or fight.

And it got me thinking about anxiety. The common belief is that anxiety is caused by negative beliefs. But I'm not so sure about that. It is a component, but I think it's really just a manifestation of that deeper primitive response. I remember reading that we make decisions based on instinct and later rationalize with logic. So it makes sense that humans might put words to a very deep unsettling feeling in order to rationalize why we must avoid it.

Also depression, despite how it sounds, is actually a highly aroused state. It's almost like being stuck in fight or flight 24/7. Maybe it's just the body stuck in trauma.

I'm gonna be reading a book about this more. I think this is something I really overlooked. I think this might be the key to getting my life back on track. This is pre-beliefs, that gut level response that shouldn't be ignored.

(12-10-2013, 12:02 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks guys.

On a side note I came across something that really made sense. It has to do with trauma. I haven't read too in depth yet, but the gist of it is that we humans get stuck in trauma. From there we operate out of really really basic instinct. That good ol fight or flight response. When you get stuck in trauma it makes life infinitely difficult because your logical brain is telling you to move forward while your more reptillian brain is telling you to either run, freeze, or fight.

And it got me thinking about anxiety. The common belief is that anxiety is caused by negative beliefs. But I'm not so sure about that. It is a component, but I think it's really just a manifestation of that deeper primitive response. I remember reading that we make decisions based on instinct and later rationalize with logic. So it makes sense that humans might put words to a very deep unsettling feeling in order to rationalize why we must avoid it.

Also depression, despite how it sounds, is actually a highly aroused state. It's almost like being stuck in fight or flight 24/7. Maybe it's just the body stuck in trauma.

I'm gonna be reading a book about this more. I think this is something I really overlooked. I think this might be the key to getting my life back on track. This is pre-beliefs, that gut level response that shouldn't be ignored.

Trauma is a BIG one.

If you have trauma, you definitely should work on it.

For myself, the way I started approaching my development was to recognize that my trauma was a very real component of my cognitive experience. The key, then, became dealing with the trauma itself.

Tapping is proving very useful in that regard.

I've been able to "tap my way out" of traumatic states simply by being firm. It's never easy, nor is it very clean (when dealing with an un-tapped trauma, sometimes I can only tap the points once, and each point may take me 5 or 10 minutes, because I'm often frozen in my mind. Think "shell shock".), but the improvements are very noticeable.

I think tapping breaks the cycle somehow, whereas if you never tapped, you'd keep doing the same thing over and over, forever.

(12-10-2013, 06:07 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-10-2013, 12:02 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks guys.

On a side note I came across something that really made sense. It has to do with trauma. I haven't read too in depth yet, but the gist of it is that we humans get stuck in trauma. From there we operate out of really really basic instinct. That good ol fight or flight response. When you get stuck in trauma it makes life infinitely difficult because your logical brain is telling you to move forward while your more reptillian brain is telling you to either run, freeze, or fight.

And it got me thinking about anxiety. The common belief is that anxiety is caused by negative beliefs. But I'm not so sure about that. It is a component, but I think it's really just a manifestation of that deeper primitive response. I remember reading that we make decisions based on instinct and later rationalize with logic. So it makes sense that humans might put words to a very deep unsettling feeling in order to rationalize why we must avoid it.

Also depression, despite how it sounds, is actually a highly aroused state. It's almost like being stuck in fight or flight 24/7. Maybe it's just the body stuck in trauma.

I'm gonna be reading a book about this more. I think this is something I really overlooked. I think this might be the key to getting my life back on track. This is pre-beliefs, that gut level response that shouldn't be ignored.

Trauma is a BIG one.

If you have trauma, you definitely should work on it.

For myself, the way I started approaching my development was to recognize that my trauma was a very real component of my cognitive experience. The key, then, became dealing with the trauma itself.

Tapping is proving very useful in that regard.

I've been able to "tap my way out" of traumatic states simply by being firm. It's never easy, nor is it very clean (when dealing with an un-tapped trauma, sometimes I can only tap the points once, and each point may take me 5 or 10 minutes, because I'm often frozen in my mind. Think "shell shock".), but the improvements are very noticeable.

I think tapping breaks the cycle somehow, whereas if you never tapped, you'd keep doing the same thing over and over, forever.

I don't have particularly traumatic experiences, well not to most people. But the thing I realized with trauma is it's not what happens, it's how you respond to it. Like I said, I grew up very sensitive so I'm convinced I was prone to more trauma from little things most people would shrug off.

Tapping can work, but it tends to be slow because it operates on the more emotional level. When the true problem is your survival instincts kicking in. There's a deeper layer that most self help glosses over, we've been told to go deep into emotions. But the real depth is finding out the underlying traumatic reaction and disarming that.

It's all about breaking deep deep knee jerk responses. It goes even further too. There's this theory about mirror neurons. Essentially when you witness something happen, your own body tends to emulate it. So it's possible that even witnessing a guy being rejected or humiliated by a woman could cause the same neurons to fire in your own brain and build those deep associations. Possible, but all speculation of course.

I thought the subconscious was the deepest part of the mind, but I think this goes further. The subconscious still understands language, but this part is very instinctual and communicating with it you have to get on a different wavelength almost.

So I've made quite a discovery. This is nothing new, no new technique, this is really just my own understanding. This survival instinct I've talked about. I'm not sure where it exists or if it's part of the subconscious mind. But I've learned how to communicate with it. Now I'm not jumping the gun here and saying I've eliminated my social anxiety, but my understanding of it has completely changed. For me my anxiety was NOT caused by negative beliefs. My anxiety was actually a protective mechanism. It was what you'd call a secondary gain. Even though it caused me suffering, deep down I believed that people were a threat to me and SA kept me safe. Now what I did was just become aware of that and I just acknowledged it. I didn't try to release it or eliminate it or dwell on it, just noticed it was there. This caused a shift in my body. Very noticeable, but like I said I'm not getting too over excited about this.

But what it made me realize is there is tremendous power in our own minds. I've been resisting change this whole time. And nothing except myself can allow that change. Your subconscious isn't this mysterious entity that has a mind of it's own, it's you. And because it's you, you can tell it what needs to change.

And I'm slowly starting to realize that I have a block to being powerful and in control. Because everything I have been fed up until this point in my life has conditioned me to believe that I'm not. It's not just my own beliefs. You have to be strong enough to be able to bend reality to your liking. There is a manifestation that is overwhelming of others beliefs that weigh down your own beliefs as well. And here's the thing, beliefs are just words and they create feeling. This feeling is like an energy and that energy can be used to manifest your reality. If you can tap into that energy and have it flow for you in the right way you're essentially harnessing the power of the universe.

Why I just wrote that I have no idea. I'm speaking from a deep level of intuition. Something is telling me that's the truth and it's been hidden from humans. Or I'm being delusional. I shall revisit this post in the future and either A.) Slap myself for being so ridiculous or B.)Congratulate myself on finally achieving the growth I so desperately sought after.

(12-11-2013, 08:14 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]For me my anxiety was NOT caused by negative beliefs.

(12-11-2013, 08:14 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]deep down I believed that people were a threat to me and SA kept me safe.

Interesting.

(12-11-2013, 08:57 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-11-2013, 08:14 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]For me my anxiety was NOT caused by negative beliefs.

(12-11-2013, 08:14 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]deep down I believed that people were a threat to me and SA kept me safe.

Interesting.

Haha. You got me. But like you said beliefs are just beliefs, good or bad. Technically it wasn't a negative belief for me, I perceived it as a negative belief, but it's really just learned behavior to keep me out of danger.

My biggest issue was my survival instinct being in disagreement with my conscious mind. Until I got both of them in agreement I wasn't able to make a change.

(12-12-2013, 06:59 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-11-2013, 08:57 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-11-2013, 08:14 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]For me my anxiety was NOT caused by negative beliefs.

(12-11-2013, 08:14 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]deep down I believed that people were a threat to me and SA kept me safe.

Interesting.

Haha. You got me. But like you said beliefs are just beliefs, good or bad. Technically it wasn't a negative belief for me, I perceived it as a negative belief, but it's really just learned behavior to keep me out of danger.

My biggest issue was my survival instinct being in disagreement with my conscious mind. Until I got both of them in agreement I wasn't able to make a change.

Lol, those are all beliefs too homie.