Subliminal Talk

OF hybrid keeps on truckin'!

It does more with fewer loops and less volume.

However, if I had not run ultrasonic till I felt I had hit a standstill I think hybrid would be too much.

Ultrasonic format was smooth and save for a few days a pretty easy experience compared to other OF versions. I recommend running Ultrasonic or Masked until you reach stagnation.

Hybrid is taking care of things much faster and with some difficulty, but given the substrate it's acting upon that isn't too surprising. Dreams are plentiful and I sometimes have 2 or more a night. There have been some pretty dark nights of the soul on other OF versions. They are deeply depressing states that do not feel suicidal but are definite dark points along the journey. I've come to tolerate and even like them as they point to near breakthrough. Hybrid OFV4 cuts the severity of the depressive state and reduces its duration as well. I was grumpy and a little touchy one day and then I ran hybrid OF that night and realized I was going through a rough spot, which for me is dark night of the soul territory. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't soul-crushing either.

All in all, Hybrid is a good format for when you feel you've reached the limits of what you can accomplish with masked or ultrasonic. It took me 5 months on ultrasonic to get here and if I had to do this run over I wouldn't change how I did it. I can tell hybrid is digging really deep because of the subtle perceivable difference of my moment-to-moment awareness of life. Fear was so interwoven into the fabric of my perception of reality that you really forget it was there; until it's removed.

Well, since I'm going to be running Maverick I figured I'll wrap up this journal.

OFv4 was amazing. It dug deeper, faster, and with more ease than any other sub I've used. I did plateau a bit at the end and ran Aura of Love for a few weeks because I really felt that I needed to transition to that so I did. Had a few grumpy days on AOL while it was getting at something that only overcoming fear could not. Apparently, a little love can go a long way with the deep stuff. If I did not run AOL I actually don't think I'd be in a position to run Maverick as AOL got at some really ugly deep self-hatred.

The main reason I stopped journaling regularly was that I was rebuilding my health at the same time I was running OF and my healing was actually skewing my results. I arrived at the point where I could no longer tell what was resolved from fixing my diet and health and what was from the sub so I just left it on coast until I felt like I plateaued.

I am happy with OFv4, it gave me quite a bit of my life back.

Did it clear all fear in me, no. However, it got me to the point where I was no longer comfortable allowing fear to eat my lunch, and I actually think that mindset is more empowering and better than if OF "magically" cleared it all for me. I'm finally in the headspace to cooperate with OF consciously. While on AOL I processed through 2 major traumas in my life and cleared them. I'm freer than I've been in a loooong time.

It took 8 months in total but it was worth it. I've rebuilt quite a bit of confidence and am ready to take responsibility for my fear response and anything that might come up in the future. I'm not sure I'll do another run of OFv4 or not. I guess we'll see how Maverick goes.

All in all I think OFv4 is worth running