(06-20-2019, 07:17 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It means that you're likely dealing with one of the following:
1. 5 loops is enough to work on, but not quickly overcome, some major subconscious challenge you're working through with E3; this results in feelings of exhaustion that more loops overcomes.
2. More loops forces more activity and energy, but it's too much and it's not sustainable.
Hmmm may have to experiment. I’m so busy right now that it looks like I’m gonna have to stick with the 5 loops overnight for most days until around August anyway. I’ll of course utilize the sub as much as I can without overloading myself though.
The epiphanies are just raining in now. For one, my subconscious mind is far larger and screwy than I ever gave it credit for. This just means I’ve got more work to do but it’s all good, I’ll be on this sub for the remainder of the year anyway.
My confidence has shot up considerably, I’m just starting to notice this.
USLM is beginning to help me manifest money as a means to attaining things I need to survive and/or improve myself. This week alone I manifested extra money from two unexpected sources. Actually the money came 2 days in a row.
Today I ran across two different tools that can assist in my self improvement journey, including one that can help me advance my meditation practices considerably. In truth, I just noticed that after I begin to hold a thought or intention for improving in a certain area of life, I’m being guided to search for tools to assist me with this and after about 30-60 minutes, I find something phenomenal. I need to hurry up and become wealthy lol. Speaking of wealth, despite my now once again chaotic schedule, I’m starting to focus more on side hustle ideas and ultimately creating a business tailored to my life purpose.
I’m noticing that it’s taking me several days to even realize what the components of Ltu are doing. One thing that is obvious though, is that the underlying fear is starting to fight back a little harder, but with a bit of conscious effort, I’m able to overcome fear; rather it come in the form of anxiety, procrastination, etc.
Wow, self esteem must be rising. For the first time in years I like how my smile looks. There’s times I’d actually hide my smile in the past because I didn’t like it, even tough girls have told me before that I’m cute when I smile. Somewhere along the way I started to think it made me look too goofy but all of a sudden I’m just fine with it.
Wanted to post yesterday since it was my 2 year anniversary with using IML subs; however, I felt like s**t. My vacation turned out to be anything but. It seemed like every single thing I tried to do to advance the situations I'm dealing with were tougher than they should've been, or nothing could be done at all at the moment to help move things forward. Yesterday afternoon I felt tired, defeated, depressed and worthless. For the first time in 5 years I actually just wanted to give up. I wanted to run an ITM loop but it was my rest day for the sub, so I wanted to give my mind time to integrate everything from the previous cycle. It hit me this morning that this feeling stemmed from comparing myself to who I was in the past just a few years ago. The man that seemed, against all odds to get any and everything done and relatively quick, even with unexpected delays. It simply used to feel like I didn't have to try this hard or run into so much resistance. I know that man is still apart of me, things just don't feel the same success wise sometimes.
In other news, I figured out last night that I actually am becoming conscious on how to be better with women, instead of things seeming to "just happen". That was more than likely the one good part about yesterday.
This morning however, I had an appointment with a program counselor that part of me didn't really feel like going to, but I had already set the appointment Friday and at least wanted to hear the guy out. This program trains, and certifies US veterans in the IT field, as well as tries to get them employed. Long story short, I signed up, this is great because now I get a second chance to advance and gain employment in the IT field, which I originally wanted to do, but even after graduating with an Associate's could never seem to find a job or even get an interview. I've been looking to go back to school for web development, but this option actually suits my situation better. Even the one thing that may have kept me from being able to enroll into the program turned out not to be an issue. Haven't gotten to go to school in months since becoming the primary caretaker for my Daughter. Although these are evening classes I'll be attending, the schedules for both my Daughter's aunties recently shifted a bit so I may be able to have them pick her up from school and watch her while I'm in class.
It's like in 24 hours I went from feeling like I was at rock bottom to top of the world. USLM must be working out for sure. I've even had a couple situations I needed to handle for my Daughter work out today that I've been trying to get resolved for months, as well as getting some great news which means I'll be able to pay all my bills in the next 30 days, and handle a couple unexpected expenses that popped up. Though it sounds cliché, it feels like stars are aligning.
Don't be afraid to use it ITM.
(06-24-2019, 02:16 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Don't be afraid to use it ITM.
Roger that.
Woke up extremely early and meditated which has now become a daily habit for me. While at work I noticed that I was extremely unmotivated (fixed with an ITM loop), and felt unusually relaxed, although I had actually ingested caffeine. After getting home from work today i had plenty energy left, but out of nowhere decided to say screw it and I’ve done nothing productive ever since. Not sure what the cause of this is since my day at work hasn’t been very stressful at all, well due to me just not giving a damn all day and working my own pace anyway.
Today my interaction with female coworkers was all positive. It’s pretty much become a daily topic of discussion of how much of a player I am lol. I turn everything that’s said about it into a joke, although that’s made me realize that I’ve known more about women, and how to attract them than I ever thought I did. The only reason it seems I never kept them was because of inconsistency and complacency, which most people tend to fall victim to once someone has been in their life for a while. Quite an insight.
While I was eating lunch, I was sitting by myself, there were 4 seats total, within 10 minutes of me sitting down to eat the other 3 seats were filled by females that started a conversation with me. Nothing sexual or inappropriate, it was just something I noticed about the way I interacted with them. For one, the feeling of lacking communication skills that I’ve been having wasn’t there at all, and I had a ball with them. We all made each other laugh and I simply enjoyed their company while being present in the moment.
While I sat with them though there was a particular coworker that walked in. It’s the one I mentioned in an earlier post, whose body I scanned the other day. For one, this female is shy but seems even more so when we’re within feet of each other, if I greet her (whenever I feel like doing so), she either acts very happy and smiles bright or acts super timid. In any case I really don’t like shy women like I used to so it’s a bit of a turn off. What I also notice is that if she sees me she won’t even speak. This went on for a while and I noticed that I ALWAYS had to say something to her first, which rubbed my self-esteem the wrong way so I completely stopped talking to her at all and have been indifferent to when she looks at me. Today though, she did the same thing she’s been doing for the past 2 weeks, when she sees me talking to a group of female coworkers she stares long and hard. Even in the lunch room, while she moves around she’ll glance over at me and start staring while I ignore her presence.
Usually when her and I make eye contact she holds it until one of us looks away, as if she wants me to say something to her. That’s only when I’m in the lunch room though. At my desk I catch her sometimes staring out of the corner of my eye and she’ll either hold it or quickly look away. Anyway, today she walked into the room and stared over at my table. The 3 females I sat with had their backs turned to the door so I know I’m the only one she could’ve been looking at. It was my intent to ignore her completely like I’ve been doing but I noticed that her uniform shirt revealed some cleavage so I ended up glancing over once her eyes were off of me. It took a half a second to realize why I was doing so I turned back to the women at my table.
She then looked at me again as if she were trying to verify rather or not I had just looked at her chest. I carried on as usual but she did stare one more time as I continued my social interaction with the other women. When she was finally walking out the door, she did something super weird, and turned back around to stare at me for about 4 full seconds before finally walking out. I ignored this but found it wired as hell. When I came back from lunch I caught her staring a couple more times throughout the day but whatever.
I’m also really starting to notice too that women I’ve worked with for over a year seem to retain a crush on me. I can tell by how they stare when I’m near, meh. Today my neighbor l’s seat was also moved, haven’t mentioned it before now but this girl almost every day would stare at me while I sat next to her and she played with her hair constantly, a blatant IOI. I’m glad she moved he because the staring was pretty creepy. She was replaced by a woman that’s openly told me more than once that she finds my voice very soothing and sexy. She stated after she was moved that she felt a little weird being in a new seat. Now I typically would just stay quiet when I get a new neighbor, even when I already know them, but I decided to mix it up. I used some flirtation techniques I’ve been studying which got her to relax and laugh. We even got to know each other better. On another note, a female coworker from another department is showing clear signs of becoming more comfortable around me, thanks to a funny situation that happened yesterday. She would keep making corny jokes to get my attention both times that I came near her today, I’d simply smile and acknowledge her. There’s a few more things that happened concerning women today, including stuff outside of work but damn I’m tired about journaling about it. I feel at this point, if I ever did SM, WM or DMSI, I’d be one dangerous dude lol.
Quote:She then looked at me again as if she were trying to verify rather or not I had just looked at her chest. I carried on as usual but she did stare one more time as I continued my social interaction with the other women. When she was finally walking out the door, she did something super weird, and turned back around to stare at me for about 4 full seconds before finally walking out. I ignored this but found it wired as hell. When I came back from lunch I caught her staring a couple more times throughout the day but whatever.
This woman is very much interested and also very much inhibited for some reason. She wants your attention, but doesn't have the confidence to be more direct. She's getting more and more overt in how she tries to get it, but she's not likely to start being much more overt.
She's one you need to be careful with. This type sometimes isn't stable mentally or emotionally and they can go off the deep end. And sometimes, what you're dealing with is a genuinely submissive woman who can't bring herself to be more overt because it is her nature to be submissive. The third type this might indicate is the woman who is just shy/has low self esteem/is insecure/thinks she isn't good enough compared to everyone else. This type falls into two sub-categories: Hopeless and gem-in-the-rough.
The hopeless ones, they almost never change because they focus so deeply and acutely on their fears and negative beliefs about themselves. They need a lot of time and specialized attention and healing. The gem-in-the-rough take to the right kind of treatment well and will heal and bloom beautifully under the guidance of someone who knows how to handle them the right way. This type makes an excellent life mate choice, if you get her to (or help herself get to) where she needs to be.
I wouldn't just ignore her. If I were you, I would start communicating with her in ways that break the ice and tell her (possibly directly, possibly not, depending on circumstances) that you know she's attracted (or at least wants your attention) and you want to know why she's so reserved instead of engaging you. If you break the ice for her, you'll find out very quickly which type she is, and she may just be that rare gem of a genuine submissive or someone who just needs help blooming.
Of course if you don't know how to handle a genuine submissive or that's not your thing, that's not going to be of much value regardless. But I smell a lot of potential in this one. Just need to weed out the possibility that she's a crackpot first.
Thank
(06-26-2019, 05:18 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:She then looked at me again as if she were trying to verify rather or not I had just looked at her chest. I carried on as usual but she did stare one more time as I continued my social interaction with the other women. When she was finally walking out the door, she did something super weird, and turned back around to stare at me for about 4 full seconds before finally walking out. I ignored this but found it wired as hell. When I came back from lunch I caught her staring a couple more times throughout the day but whatever.
This woman is very much interested and also very much inhibited for some reason. She wants your attention, but doesn't have the confidence to be more direct. She's getting more and more overt in how she tries to get it, but she's not likely to start being much more overt.
She's one you need to be careful with. This type sometimes isn't stable mentally or emotionally and they can go off the deep end. And sometimes, what you're dealing with is a genuinely submissive woman who can't bring herself to be more overt because it is her nature to be submissive. The third type this might indicate is the woman who is just shy/has low self esteem/is insecure/thinks she isn't good enough compared to everyone else. This type falls into two sub-categories: Hopeless and gem-in-the-rough.
The hopeless ones, they almost never change because they focus so deeply and acutely on their fears and negative beliefs about themselves. They need a lot of time and specialized attention and healing. The gem-in-the-rough take to the right kind of treatment well and will heal and bloom beautifully under the guidance of someone who knows how to handle them the right way. This type makes an excellent life mate choice, if you get her to (or help herself get to) where she needs to be.
I wouldn't just ignore her. If I were you, I would start communicating with her in ways that break the ice and tell her (possibly directly, possibly not, depending on circumstances) that you know she's attracted (or at least wants your attention) and you want to know why she's so reserved instead of engaging you. If you break the ice for her, you'll find out very quickly which type she is, and she may just be that rare gem of a genuine submissive or someone who just needs help blooming.
Of course if you don't know how to handle a genuine submissive or that's not your thing, that's not going to be of much value regardless. But I smell a lot of potential in this one. Just need to weed out the possibility that she's a crackpot first.
First of Shannon let me say I’m excited that an upgraded money magnet module is in UMS, I loved the results from the BASE version. Also you laid out every single thought I had about this woman in the past 5 months. No matter how much I try these thoughts keep coming about how to approach her but idk. Although I try to give up on that little situation sometimes I get thoughts of just pulling the damn trigger. There’s things on my end that have kept me from approaching too, but between me being fed up with this lingering situation and FRM driving me to be more confident and bold every single day, I’m pretty sure I’ll be pulling the trigger soon for the hell of it. She’s the only woman in that office that I noticed has interest in me that I’d actually give the time of day, and there are women there who have been way more obvious about how they feel.
I smell potential here too. I love submissive women, they turn me on like no other type. I’m not a fan of shy girls anymore though but I see how her shyness could be an advantage if I were to place her into a certain role. Thing is, I’ve seen glimpses that she has a good sense of humor too which I like in a woman. In any case I’ll see how things play out.
Got up this morning and have been nothing except things that help me further my advancement as a person. Payed extra special attention to my grooming and hygiene, drank a health tonic for breakfast and had a lunch packed with whole organic foods. In everything I do I’m paying more attention to detail. I also prepped all the clothes I need to wear over the next two days just so I could be ahead of the game. I also took time on studying how to be more magnetic, smooth and charismatic in general. I’m also being more attentive to my Daughter and decided I’d spend the day with her on my day off instead of just dropping her off to school. Also glad that I learned an array of power poses to help convey confidence and authority with my body language, boost my testosterone levels and reduce my cortisol levels as quickly as two minutes. This is big as now I have even more tools at my disposal to relive anxiety throughout my day.
Just got back from lunch, got a call from my ex wife. She's picked back up on the habit of calling me just for idle conversation. I'm thinking a few positive recent developments is having her starting to become attracted to me again. When I came back from outside, a female coworker of mine was filling in for the usual receptionist in the lobby while she was away at lunch. She proceeded to stop me and start interrogating me about who I was talking to and what about. I laughed and told her I was having a personal conversation. As I proceeded to walk away she told me I was being too vague and demanded I be more specific, I asked her why she even wanted to know and she then said if I don't tell her she was going to cause a scene, and started raising her voice. My manager had to get up and come make up a story about why I needed to hurry back to my desk. WTF just happened?
Looks like the co-worker got a thing for you and your boss knows about it. lol
(06-27-2019, 10:27 AM)Oversoul Wrote: [ -> ]Looks like the co-worker got a thing for you and your boss knows about it. lol
Lol things are literally starting to get crazy.
Thought it would be an uneventful day at work but I should’ve known better *facepalm*. Started off with one female coworker being very nosey as to what I carry in my backpack, weird, she then started making comments about how my Manager seems possessive towards me, and when I’m away from my desk she always wants to find me. Extra weird but ok. She also made a remark about how when she talks to me, females from my department give her a death stare.
There’s another coworker who went from being super shy to finally warming up to me so if I want to go that route then it looks to be an option. Besides that it’s been the usual, jokes about me and my reputation of being a player, while also getting stares from many female coworkers throughout my day. One thing new that did hit me though is that the ladies there are getting very comfortable with me kissing them right on the cheek as opposed to just a hug when I greet them. Don’t find it that big of a deal though.
Last thing is that there was a fire drill this morning and I actually began cracking jokes and being silly throughout the whole ordeal. Kept my coworkers laughing while outside. The girl I mentioned in earlier posts, (the one Shannon and I spoke about), seemed to display behavior that pretty much dismissed her in my mind as a potential crackpot. An hour before I left work I caught her staring right at me while I just happened to be laughing at a joke. At first I glanced but then unconsciously did a double take. While I sat there with a big smile on my face we locked eyes. It was only a couple seconds but it felt like minutes. She may have thought I was smiling at her. Think I’m gonna approach her playfully this upcoming week. If she happens not to want to “play” then oh well, I ignore her 99% of the time anyway.