06-23-2019, 03:16 PM
Day 119
The grief finally broke.
Last night I took a naproxen, a big drink of water, jammed the earplugs all the way in, and left the A/C on. I only got 6 hours of sleep, but woke feeling without the grief.
I’m quite angry at myself. The grief kicked in weeks ago, exactly when the weather changed and I started waking up to an 80°F apartment. I’ve been pushing through it, tolerating the heat, tolerating the pain, just so that I wouldn’t have to wear earplugs. Half because of all the ear infections, but half because I wanted to be able to listen to the subliminals.
I’m doing my best to get over blaming myself for wasting a month of time being in pain due to not wanting to wear the earplugs. Dammit!
In any case, I’m now wearing earplugs overnight. Given the attenuation of earplugs (it cuts out the high frequencies entirely) and that I have them jammed in deep enough to stop the air conditioner sound, I don’t see how doing the subliminal overnight will work. I can play the masked version during the day, but it likely won’t be for the 7 hours (5 loops) uninterrupted. And I can’t make the tradeoff of not wearing earplugs any more.
The grief finally broke.
Last night I took a naproxen, a big drink of water, jammed the earplugs all the way in, and left the A/C on. I only got 6 hours of sleep, but woke feeling without the grief.
I’m quite angry at myself. The grief kicked in weeks ago, exactly when the weather changed and I started waking up to an 80°F apartment. I’ve been pushing through it, tolerating the heat, tolerating the pain, just so that I wouldn’t have to wear earplugs. Half because of all the ear infections, but half because I wanted to be able to listen to the subliminals.
I’m doing my best to get over blaming myself for wasting a month of time being in pain due to not wanting to wear the earplugs. Dammit!
In any case, I’m now wearing earplugs overnight. Given the attenuation of earplugs (it cuts out the high frequencies entirely) and that I have them jammed in deep enough to stop the air conditioner sound, I don’t see how doing the subliminal overnight will work. I can play the masked version during the day, but it likely won’t be for the 7 hours (5 loops) uninterrupted. And I can’t make the tradeoff of not wearing earplugs any more.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
