06-22-2019, 01:04 PM
Day 118
Day 4 on, volume 7/16, 5 loops overnight.
Slept poorly. I ran across a video about LISS which is about exercise, and so when I woke this morning I walked. I walked to the food place, then to my sexuality coach. The exhaustion and heat compounded so that by the time I got there, my body was just shut down and we didn’t accomplish anything.
I’m angry that my body shuts down like this. I’m angry that my sleep is disrupted and that I can’t even work on sexuality and arousal because I can’t even manage to function correctly with sleep and in the climate of my city’s summer. I’m angry that everything around me is breaking (my electric toothbrush, again, my fridge’s icemaker so I can’t use that to combat the heat, the washer/dryer still). I’m angry that using earplugs with the air conditioner doesn’t seem to be working like it had in previous years.
I’m angry that my feeling of dehydration doesn’t respond to me drinking water. Or coconut water. Or that using special rehydration drink packets makes my stool super loose so that I have to keep running to the bathroom (and it also doesn’t help with the feeling of dehydration).
I’m angry that I feel forced to consider using drugs like 5-MeO. I’m angry that LTU isn’t showing any effects other than maybe disrupting my sleep even more than it already is disrupted. (I could really use some damn luck here, USLM module!)
I’m just so angry. Nothing is going right.
Day 4 on, volume 7/16, 5 loops overnight.
Slept poorly. I ran across a video about LISS which is about exercise, and so when I woke this morning I walked. I walked to the food place, then to my sexuality coach. The exhaustion and heat compounded so that by the time I got there, my body was just shut down and we didn’t accomplish anything.
I’m angry that my body shuts down like this. I’m angry that my sleep is disrupted and that I can’t even work on sexuality and arousal because I can’t even manage to function correctly with sleep and in the climate of my city’s summer. I’m angry that everything around me is breaking (my electric toothbrush, again, my fridge’s icemaker so I can’t use that to combat the heat, the washer/dryer still). I’m angry that using earplugs with the air conditioner doesn’t seem to be working like it had in previous years.
I’m angry that my feeling of dehydration doesn’t respond to me drinking water. Or coconut water. Or that using special rehydration drink packets makes my stool super loose so that I have to keep running to the bathroom (and it also doesn’t help with the feeling of dehydration).
I’m angry that I feel forced to consider using drugs like 5-MeO. I’m angry that LTU isn’t showing any effects other than maybe disrupting my sleep even more than it already is disrupted. (I could really use some damn luck here, USLM module!)
I’m just so angry. Nothing is going right.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
