12-17-2018, 07:13 AM
Been a while since I posted. I had been using hybrid as I thought that was what was best for me but I wasn't noticing anything after around the second week...which I wasn't sure if changes were being made or not. Other than pushing myself to face fears, I didn't feel like I was addressing much. I felt like I hit a brick wall. I decided to try the masked again. I had panicked during my first listen but thought it was from the usage of the first 2 days with hybrid.
Since being back on the masked, I have been in panic mode non-stop. I even ended up at the ER because I've never experienced anything like this. So now I am at a place where I am trying to make the best decision for my continued use. Do I continue with masked to see if this gets overcome, do I switch back to hybrid and see if eventually some changes will get made, or do I try ultrasonic at night (I have yet to try it, but I was worried that my getting up in the night to pee, etc would be an issue)? It is really hard to deal with, especially now during the holidays. I've been allowing myself to sit with the feelings in hopes that not resisting them clears them...but I then I wonder if I am really allowing it or am I just coping? Lots to experiment with, for sure.
Since being back on the masked, I have been in panic mode non-stop. I even ended up at the ER because I've never experienced anything like this. So now I am at a place where I am trying to make the best decision for my continued use. Do I continue with masked to see if this gets overcome, do I switch back to hybrid and see if eventually some changes will get made, or do I try ultrasonic at night (I have yet to try it, but I was worried that my getting up in the night to pee, etc would be an issue)? It is really hard to deal with, especially now during the holidays. I've been allowing myself to sit with the feelings in hopes that not resisting them clears them...but I then I wonder if I am really allowing it or am I just coping? Lots to experiment with, for sure.
