07-19-2017, 10:12 PM
Been somewhat distracted from updating about the past week. This past weekend was the first FWB weekend since switching to 3.1-B weeks ago. I know that most people are probably clamoring for some "B made things amazing" story to inspire them. Can't say that B improved anything there -- if anything, I'd felt intermittently undervalued and inconvenient after years of unwavering appreciation from her. Could have nothing to do with DMSI, could have nothing to do with me, could be my shifted perception, could be my behavior, could be this, could be that, etc. There's no shortage of possibilities, and, for all that I know, they're all wrong. What I do know is that something felt slightly "off."
Reasons aside, she'd shown unusually reduced interest (except at moments when everything was perfectly normal again), and the greater emotional intimacy that I'd enjoyed on A was either absent or strained while on B. To be clear, it's not so much that the highs weren't as high, but that the lows were lower. Her roommates were even more affable than usual, so it's not as if I'd been rubbing everyone the wrong way. Tempted to switch back to A on Saturday or Sunday, with the intent to temper any harsh edges acquired from weeks on B and to heal/clear anything that might've been kicked up in the meantime.
Reasons aside, she'd shown unusually reduced interest (except at moments when everything was perfectly normal again), and the greater emotional intimacy that I'd enjoyed on A was either absent or strained while on B. To be clear, it's not so much that the highs weren't as high, but that the lows were lower. Her roommates were even more affable than usual, so it's not as if I'd been rubbing everyone the wrong way. Tempted to switch back to A on Saturday or Sunday, with the intent to temper any harsh edges acquired from weeks on B and to heal/clear anything that might've been kicked up in the meantime.
