I have a deep rooted insecurity about being/appearing weak. I think it comes from being picked on as a kid. I have a difficult time revealing that I'm hurt because I don't think people will care or will think I'm weak and, either way, will want to distance themselves from me.
I have been walking around pretending like I'm strong for fear of pushing people away. This has been a great burden for me to carry. I've isolated myself and made myself feel very alone by not letting anyone in lest they discover how sensitive I really am.
I think men are meant to be strong or women will not want them, hence their constant challenges to test how emotionally strong we are and if we're still strong. This has made the insecurity even deeper because I've been carrying a lot of hurt from past relationships that I have attributed to the result being weak. So I have wanted to cover up and hide my weakness. I have been ashamed of my weakness.
I have felt a lot of shame lately for being vulnerable and revealing my weakness but I think it's step one in overcoming this insecurity and the people around me have surprised me with the love with which they've responded.
I have been walking around pretending like I'm strong for fear of pushing people away. This has been a great burden for me to carry. I've isolated myself and made myself feel very alone by not letting anyone in lest they discover how sensitive I really am.
I think men are meant to be strong or women will not want them, hence their constant challenges to test how emotionally strong we are and if we're still strong. This has made the insecurity even deeper because I've been carrying a lot of hurt from past relationships that I have attributed to the result being weak. So I have wanted to cover up and hide my weakness. I have been ashamed of my weakness.
I have felt a lot of shame lately for being vulnerable and revealing my weakness but I think it's step one in overcoming this insecurity and the people around me have surprised me with the love with which they've responded.
