Ymiraku DMSI 3.2A

[Ymiraku]

Just heard that DMSI 3.2A is available. Im going to download it and listen to it every night. Really looking forward to the healing and clearing

Gotta make some other changes to my life. As it is now I have very few friends and they are all married or just have no interest in going out and doing interesting activities. I need to find some social activities and meet new people in this town. I'm craving social connections and doing interesting things on my weekend rather than sit at home watching netflix and working out at the gym.

As far as I know so far we only live once and im not going to leave this life before ive gotten everything out of it that I want.

[Ymiraku]

Had a terrible sleep last night after listening to the sub but I felt pretty good today, despite the fact that it was an extremely boring day at work. Masturbated later in the day (yes i know bad) and after I didn't feel so good, it destroyed my energy and i think triggered some resistance. So no more of that!

Looking for ways to meet new people on the weekends. I don't want to just go and stand around in bars. it doesn't feel natural or interesting to me. Going to keep an eye out for stuff I can get involved in locally.

Listening to the masked version for a few days and then going to change to hybrid. I can have a strong don't tell me what to do personality and can be very defensive so i'm going for a softer approach initially so that my subconscious doesn't fight back as strongly.

[Ymiraku]

Haven't noticed much in terms of more looks or attention lately but I haven't been getting out much either. Feel like im a bit of a reculse at the moment and that needs to change if I want to start getting more out of life. Somewhere deep inside I have always felt ashamed of myself or something, like I wasn't as good as other people, i've always been afraid to show myself to the world in fear of their judgement. I don't know where this all comes from, it used to be worse and I have grown much but there is still some deep seated insecurities there which are holding me back in life.

In the past I always shyed away from challenges and putting myself in the limelight. I have cared far too much about what others think of me and I have let it rule my life. As much as I tell myself that I am confident and can outwardly display a degree of confidence in public I have still felt lacking deep inside. I feel somewhere that if I don't push my comfort zone and allow myself to feel this fear and break through it with courage that it will keep controlling me. And I cannot have that. I have been seeing fear as a bad thing, something to avoid. But that has never worked for me and it time for a paradigm shift.

I feel some of these things coming to the surface, like I am trying to come to terms and be honest about what has held me back for so long. It's hard sometimes to admit to these things and to pretend that they are not there but that is just a way to prolong the pain and fear.

Anyway that aside I went to the shops today with my mum to get some HDMI cables and look at some curtains and I noticed a very warm reception from the female staff in the department store and lots of smiles from the staff.

Went to the gym and there was this pretty hot girl down there with earphones on. Didn't notice any looks from her at all and I kept thinking to myself that I should approach her and tap her on the shoulder and say hi. Not because I wanted to hit on her but because I wanted to face my fears. I didn't end up talking to her, I know that sometimes people with their headphones on in the gym just want to be left alone to workout and don't want to be bothered by some random dude. I guess I am too attached to the fear that an interaction may have a bad outcome. It's so irrational, I mean who cares if the outcome is bad. Are they going to post it on social media? Most fears are so irrational and pathetic. Still not sure if it was a good or bad thing that I didn't approach her but then again I got no initial eye contact, and some good initial eye contact is usually a green light that you can talk to someone.

Thinking about changing to the hybrid version of the sub, been listening only to the masked version so far but thinking of ramping up the intensity with hybrid.

[Ymiraku]

Slept in this morning because I had a bit of a rough night sleep despite taking a sleeping pill. Went to this art exhibit in a national park, I didn't really talk to anyone people were focused on the artwork and didn't seem interested in socialising but still it was nice to get outside in nature rather than sit around at home and be stuck in my head. I haven't noticed any aura firing or any more looks from attractive women (I've been getting random looks by older unattractive women which is kind of annoying me.) I am still not feeling super confident and sexy in public but I am not expecting radical changes yet. I am working through some internal stuff. A bit of a self identity crisis I suppose. I am also trying not to focus on negative things which go through my head.

It dawned on me yesterday that I focus far too much on what I am not getting in life rather than focusing on what I want. I've had a scarcity way of looking at life and that needs to change. I tend to compare myself to other people alot 'at my age people have a friends circle, socialise alot, have a place of their own, a good car, a good job' etc. This is totally irrational because there are also alot of people my age who have terrible health, bad habits, no money or job and no car. It is time to start being grateful for what I have and to stop comparing my situation to other people. It's pointless and it doesn't help me get what I want it just makes me feel inferior and insecure.

I did notice today in the supermarket that the checkout girl was especially smiley and friendly towards me. Too young for me but it was kind of sweet to get a pleasant interaction. I also saw a woman wearing what appeared to be blue pajamas in one of the aisles looking at some stuff on the shelf. I walked past and said in a not so confident almost bumbly way 'too many to choose from' she turned around and she was absolutely gorgeous and very receptive. I was actually a bit shocked and I got pretty nervous and was smiling nervously, not really sure how I should act etc. I had a brief conversation with her and left. It dawned on me afterwards, as it usually does, the amount of things I could have said to her in a fun and playful way. If only I had that knowledge and initiative in the moment. I could have offered to help her pick a dye and held it next to her head in a playful way or I could have grabbed the blue one and said that if she used this she would look like a pretty smurf in those pajamas. She was very friendly and it would have worked great but long story short I didn't and its not like I can rewind time and do things differently.

Anyway, things seem okay at the moment. I don't feel like i'm regressing in any way like I did with 3.2B but I feel like I am coming to terms with things and it feels like some of my inner values and beliefs about my self and life are shifting, I cant put my finger on what they are but it is happening.

[Ymiraku]

Still no increased attention or looks from women yet but I still haven't been out in public much lately because I've been working so many hours and on the weekends I still don't know what to do with myself. Still being apathetic and procrastinating and not being proactive when it comes to my social life. Part of it is I just don't know where to go and what to do. It seems pointless to me to just stroll around in public and stand around in bars etc. I want to do stuff which is actually stimulating and interesting.

One thing I did notice is that when I went to the gym yesterday I was feeling a bit insecure and lacking in confident but when I spoke to people I was very relaxed and was confident and cool. It was strange.

[Ymiraku]

Hey guys

I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had any internet for over three weeks, but its finally back working again.

Been doing DMSI every night with a night off after every seven days. I did mess up the ASRB a couple of weeks back with interrupted listenings and by listening over the seven day period without taking a break but now im back on track and adhering to the ASRB.

Not much to report on the female side except I am noticing that female store clerks are unusually friendly and helpful towards me. In fact I was in a pharmacy yesterday and I was looking for a particular product and almost every female that was working in the store were assisting me and being super friendly and helpful which was kind of funny

Im still having alot of random bouts of insecurity and im not really sure where I am going in life. Im in this cycle of apathy which has sabotaged me countless times in the past and I need to break out of it but sometimes I just feel so powerless and afraid to make the changes in my life and I tend to doubt my self alot despite trying to use positive self talk. It's like some ingrained subconscious patterns which I have been following for most my life.

One thing that I have noticed is that if I masturbate I lose most if not all my sexual energy and become alot more insecure and feel less 'sexy' around women. It's really a bad habit and I find it hard to go several days without masturbating. I tend to have a stimulating interaction, then I fantasize and then give in and masturbate hence destroying my progress.

Had a dream last night where I was being rejected by random women, it wasn't a very positive dream and somehow it made me feel a bit insecure during the day. Is this a sign that I am resisting the goals of the program?

If anyone has any suggestions and good advice for me I would be very willing to hear it

[Ymiraku]

Not much new to report, still no external effects that i am noticing although I recently changed to the ultrasonic version and I had a very weird and interesting dream that night. In the dream I was in some sort of dungeon and chained to a post and I was battered and bruised as if I had been tortured. Next to me was an enormous circular opening in the ground which led down into the darkness with no apparent end. There was someone torturing me, someone who held some kind of power and authority. He was snapping my fingers back on one of my hands in radical fashion trying to get me to surrender my will. I was yelling in agony as he yanked back by fingers one by one and when he picked up my next hand I gave in and told him I would do it. I then leaned over the pit and rasped "Let our gods be joined".

Definitely an unusual dream but it wasn't entirely unpleasant because I enjoy those movie like dreams.

Got me thinking that maybe listening to ultrasonic will give my sub-conscious a 'push' somehow.

[StridingStrider]

The dreams really are the best thing about subs.

[Ymiraku]

Okay i think im starting to notice some subtle changes since i swapped to ultrasonic. Firstly my sleeping has gotten pretty bad unlike when i was listening to hybrid where i was sleeping soundly. Also its subtle but i am feeling like i am of slightly higher self worth, like i am becoming naturally higher value.

I still am not socialising much but that is no ones fault but mine. As for women im not noticing much in terms of looks and attention but i also havent really been watching women as much to look for this. Its like i dont really care. I also seem to be more unaffected by women that i find hot. Before it was like if i interacted or was even in the vicinity of a hot woman i would think 'holy shit she is so hot' and i would start feeling a bit self conscious and uneasy. Now its like i dont really care.

I find myself still masturbating sometimes but it is mostly out of boredom and it feels less satisfying.

With these changes im noticing its made me think that hybrid wasnt doing anything for me and wasnt even registering on a subconscious level.

[Zane]

Okay i think im starting to notice some subtle changes since i swapped to ultrasonic. Firstly my sleeping has gotten pretty bad unlike when i was listening to hybrid where i was sleeping soundly. Also its subtle but i am feeling like i am of slightly higher self worth, like i am becoming naturally higher value.

I still am not socialising much but that is no ones fault but mine. As for women im not noticing much in terms of looks and attention but i also havent really been watching women as much to look for this. Its like i dont really care. I also seem to be more unaffected by women that i find hot. Before it was like if i interacted or was even in the vicinity of a hot woman i would think 'holy shit she is so hot' and i would start feeling a bit self conscious and uneasy. Now its like i dont really care.

I find myself still masturbating sometimes but it is mostly out of boredom and it feels less satisfying.

With these changes im noticing its made me think that hybrid wasnt doing anything for me and wasnt even registering on a subconscious level.

I listened to Hybrid for like 2 days and believe me my body gets so hot and I feel like I am burning even with my AC and Fan on Full..I even turn on the swamp cooler in my room and still I feel hot ..I felt as if I need to jump in cold shower.

I think its better i stick to ultrasonic as hybrid track also wakes me up in middle. I tried for like 2 days lol..I gotta say that Hybrid track seems powerful.

I also used Hybrid on MHS-5.5G for like 5 hours and believe my coughing decreased alot..Maybe its better to use Hybrid track on MHS and MLS..But God..Not on DMSI. Atleast for Me