01-01-2020, 04:46 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-01-2020, 04:47 AM by Have at ye.)
Haha, turned out "G" did not attend that shindig either, as I learned when sending her new year's wishes. Good call, then.
Anyhow, I ended up flirting heavily with that sweet little thing from that pre-Christmas party (let's start calling her "O") upon sending her some wishes. Haha, she's so cute and really wants to be naughty. I think the only thing I have to keep doing is keep re-affirming her that no, I totally do not mind that she wants to be naughty, especially towards yours truly.
Also noticing an upswing in flirtation with that lovely woman who had helped me out when I was in "crazy little aristocrat" damage control mode. She's totally fishing for compliments and wants affirmation that I like her, hahaha. I'll be seeing her soon, as we sometimes tour together. I do owe her one, so I guess there wouldn't be anything untoward if I decided to reciprocate by making her feel good.
Also, I decided to perform an alpha strike at some traumas that generate fears/anxiety regarding the sexual act itself. Got some good, albeit pretty disturbing, conclusions out of it. I'm noticing that the fear-indicative physical sensations I've been getting lately appear to be related to this. But - I also know what to do about them, fortunately; when I go about it properly, the unpleasant stiffness in certain parts of my musculature and the dark sensations that accompany it start dissolving into a light, pleasant thing which is probably self-loving/love.
Funnily enough, I'm about to re-up the DRS for the day, as I'm getting a bit of a "oh, somebody's thinking of me, lol" headache and accompanying thought of... that "foxy psychotherapist" girl? Fascinating. You know, I can get all behind that "normative masquerade" thing - especially since my favorite creepy uncle Lacan defined it as one of the main differences between the masculine and the feminine psyche formations (so, to the masculine psyche it might even appear as "social conditioning" or something ) - but there's a point when normal psyche formation *can* become pathological, love.
Also, I have a song from my new favorite cheesy band:
Those lyrics, doe.
Anyhow, I ended up flirting heavily with that sweet little thing from that pre-Christmas party (let's start calling her "O") upon sending her some wishes. Haha, she's so cute and really wants to be naughty. I think the only thing I have to keep doing is keep re-affirming her that no, I totally do not mind that she wants to be naughty, especially towards yours truly.
Also noticing an upswing in flirtation with that lovely woman who had helped me out when I was in "crazy little aristocrat" damage control mode. She's totally fishing for compliments and wants affirmation that I like her, hahaha. I'll be seeing her soon, as we sometimes tour together. I do owe her one, so I guess there wouldn't be anything untoward if I decided to reciprocate by making her feel good.
Also, I decided to perform an alpha strike at some traumas that generate fears/anxiety regarding the sexual act itself. Got some good, albeit pretty disturbing, conclusions out of it. I'm noticing that the fear-indicative physical sensations I've been getting lately appear to be related to this. But - I also know what to do about them, fortunately; when I go about it properly, the unpleasant stiffness in certain parts of my musculature and the dark sensations that accompany it start dissolving into a light, pleasant thing which is probably self-loving/love.
Funnily enough, I'm about to re-up the DRS for the day, as I'm getting a bit of a "oh, somebody's thinking of me, lol" headache and accompanying thought of... that "foxy psychotherapist" girl? Fascinating. You know, I can get all behind that "normative masquerade" thing - especially since my favorite creepy uncle Lacan defined it as one of the main differences between the masculine and the feminine psyche formations (so, to the masculine psyche it might even appear as "social conditioning" or something
) - but there's a point when normal psyche formation *can* become pathological, love.Also, I have a song from my new favorite cheesy band:
Those lyrics, doe.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
