We're only in it for the potato - UMS Interlude

[Shannon]

I'm curious about what you said about the side effects of DMSI. You said 3.2 - never did 3.3.x? Please explain further about the gaming and Oedipal reactions.

I also don't understand how the world shield is linked to them trying to seduce you.

[Have at ye]

I'm curious about what you said about the side effects of DMSI.  You said 3.2 - never did 3.3.x?  Please explain further about the gaming and Oedipal reactions.

I also don't understand how the world shield is linked to them trying to seduce you.

I don't know how the shield would be related to that directly, either. I actually didn't mean to imply a connection between the two things, as there might be none, so I guess the structure of my post might have been confusing (incidentally, when my writing starts becoming disorganized, it's an indication that my sub-c is working hard on processing something). The seduction attempts may be related to FRM doing its job or the TID effect from the next ver. of DMSI; which is it exactly - I'm unable to tell at this time.

As to the side-effects: yeah, I intended to state 3.3.x, but, actually, 3.2 appeared to have a similar effect (or maybe even the earlier versions did, but only on 3.2 did I actually start noticing and acknowledging what is happening).

Here's how it went in at least 5-6 cases I've had the opportunity to observe over an extended period of time: girl gets very aroused and interested, girl approaches/chats up/begins seducing, fun on a bun, then - usually when they notice that multiple other females seem to be doing the same thing they are doing and/or I actually start liking them and decide to go for it - they do a 180 and try to get me to pursue through emotional manipulation, usually through the 'ol push-pull, but in several cases I've actually had the girls find the nearest Oedipal Sonny (I'll explain what I mean by that in a moment  ), start pretending they're actually interested in them blatantly and so that I could see, etc., with two actually starting "relationships" with said sonnies while still *hitting on me at the same time* (sometimes even when the particular sonny is around... and it usually gets them even more so involved emotionally into the girl). I actually had totally enough of shit like this in one particular case (a case with whom I unfortunately had to work with during tours for the better part of this year), so I confronted directly, and it turned out that I was, unfortunately, right.

Oftentimes, when I do not respond to the gaming attempt the way the girls expect me to (I believe that's mostly an ego thing - they're usually very attractive women and I assume that they assume that there's no frickin' way this couldn't work, because it works on pretty much everyone else, right? ), instead of showing any shred of honesty, they escalate.

In radical, very unhealthy cases (like, f. in., my ex) the girl would sometimes respond by stalking me to a social event, finding the nearest guy who looks like they may be interesting in having sex with them, and then proceed to seduce them blatantly so that I can see that they're doing it. But this only occurs in serious cases of crazy.


Anyroad, many girls are trying to get me jealous of them on purpose, and thus I would hypothesize that they are, in fact, jealous of me. Incidentally, designee I dub "sweet little aristocrat" is the *only* one who actually owned up to doing so without any confrontation or prodding on my part (and she didn't do anything too radical, just attempted a little push-pull, compared to some other shit I've seen). She probably feels bad about it.

Now, onto the Oedipal thing - I have noticed a rather worrisome trend among various other guys who - upon seeing the kind of attention and attraction I am getting from various attractive females - actually appear to start believing themselves to be falling in love with the female responding to me, and start acting out on this (usually by pursuing them really, really hard, and making trouble for me through sabotage/slander). I was wondering whether this may be a behavioral, competitive reaction, but it's way too... weird and specific to be just this. Thus, I have come to the conclusion that it would appear to be the Oedipus complex in action: the Oedipal triad: father - mother - son/daughter; and the Oedipal Sonny reacts this way because something in their sub-c makes them feel compelled to try to prove to the Feminine/Oedipally Maternal figure that they deserve their love and attention more than the Masculine/Oedipal Paternal figure.

So, in short, when a guy starts feeling the Oedipal Call of the Sonny, they are basically, on a symbolic level, trying to prove to daddy that they also deserve mommy's love and affection  and that mommy loves them more. Win mommy from daddy, so to speak.

And the more the girl with the Sonny in tow shows interest in me, the more erratic and desperate the Sonny becomes.

For some reason, this appears to be an extremely prevalent thing among modern males...

[Shannon]

Interesting indeed. can you be more specific with examples of what they're doing to "push/pull" emotionally?

[Have at ye]

Interesting indeed.  can you be more specific with examples of what they're doing to "push/pull" emotionally?

Sure, I'll do it later today, if you don't mind. TBH for some reason I don't really enjoy thinking back to such things, heh, makes me feel annoyed.

Some UMS stuff: I slept quite long today, woke up getting pretty strong visual artifacts, as well as having the Iron Maiden song "Wasted Years" going through my head, lol, to which I then listened to a couple of times. Then I switched to "The Evil that Men Do". Up the Irons! \m/

I'll be running another loop of UMS tomorrow. I'm considering two options right now: 2 loops every 3 days, or 1 loop every 2 days. I don't think I'll be switching to USLMaxx v. 4.1 right now, I'd like to spend some some more time with UMS (possibly until the end of the month at least) + the auric shielding.

Some Items I procured recently arrived, they're very good. The one Item that's designed to help with absorbing and transmuting outside negativity does seem to be working as intended - or at least I'm getting physical sensations that would imply that it is so (it makes me all itchy among other things, hahaha). The real test drive for its application shall come the next time I have rehearsal with morons (so September if I don't happen into a gig with bozos of such ilk over the summer).

[Have at ye]

Just started up my loop for today, headphones, low volume, hybrid trickling stream (prior to that I was playing UMS through my laptop speakers, hybrid, higher volume - but since it was laptop speakers, relatively speaking, the volume I'm now using on headphones should be about the same or at least similar, but playback quality is about a zillion times higher).

Had definite healing & clearing related dreams last night, I even remember some of them and they seemed to be related to familial issues, and had a song playing within the dream itself, and after waking up I went for a little walk and listened to the song for a good hour or so, haha. Here's the song in question if anybody's intersted, it's in Polish and is very sweet, haha, no rokkin' this time around: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wChFEkCqt5s

My liver and heart seem to be feeling way lighter now as well. Heart still could use a little bit more work, but it may be acting up due to fear removal in progress. I am also now experiencing less annoyance at the thought of describing my girls' gaming tactics, haha.

I have some wonkiness and anxiety at the root level (think "root chakra") of which I was aware for some time, and on which I had done some pretty extensive work already, which seem to be getting worked on by UMS. I feel more stable and grounded, physically as well as emotionally now. Let's keep at it for a while.

Gonna go for some bardic practice today, last week I was kinda feeling kinda down so I decided to give myself a week off from singing to recover a bit better from sinusitis which I've had acting up since about the middle of June (incidentally, it tends to starts acting up when I'm stressed and tired. I have an idea how to get rid of the darn thing for good, as it's a nuisance, but it'll have to wait).

Yesterday I have also decided to ramp up my physical fitness regimen up a notch, so as not to plateau.

I'm noticing that several things that kept getting delayed due to various reasons, and which may be very beneficial to me career-wise, have picked up again. F. in. a composer dude for whom I've written a libretto in English *three years ago or so* (I think it was still pre-DAOS, sub-wise for me) has actually started to work on the darn thing (he's been kinda wary of working on it, and distracted by various other things as well). It's quite possible that while I'm not yet getting potato left and right (apart from about a thousand in what I see now as TID-money, which made it possible for me to purchase UMS on pretty much "a whim" ), events and probability lines are getting "lined up", so to speak, to bring about proper monetary results, and should start bearing fruit down the line, I think.

[Have at ye]

Oh one more thing: for some time now I have noticed that I've been communicating/talking to my, how shall I call it, "malevolent" side on the sub-C level. For some reason it kinda looks like the character Joe Carrol from the show "The Following", in an orange jumpsuit, haha (well, I did watch that show in the recent months, so I guess my sub-C's using that as symbolic material).

BTW., that show is in extremely bad taste, lol. I did always like the two leading men playing in it though, haha (Kevin Bacon and James Purefoy, I think?).

[Have at ye]

Interesting. Just finished my UMS loop for the day, and I feel the urge to play another one.

I'll pace myself for now and revisit the idea in a couple of days.

[Have at ye]

Several hours after I finished up my loop, I noticed a return of the "cauterizing" sensations, mostly going up from my right foot (with a bit of a "sucking-in" sensation to go with it), and a little bit in my left foot (though much lesser in degree).

The "cauterization" was not as strong as on the day I did two loops.

So I guess, it's been 10 hrs since I've done the first loop of the day... I'll try another one, as I'm just going to stay home for the evening anyway. YOLO!

I'm curious.

EDIT

Couldn't stop listening to that sweet song about sunshine, summer and love, lol, throughout the day.

[Have at ye]

My YOLO-tactics ended up with me sleeping for over 12 hours, haha. I actually can afford to chill out right now if need be, but I'd rather get back to doing something constructive.

So yeah, I'll stick to 1 loop per day for now.

[Have at ye]

OK, change of plans. I will do 3 loops back-to-back tonight, and then take 7 days of break. So basically 3x1, 7x0 protocol, for the next 16 days or so. Afterwards, I shall be switching to USLMaxx to facilitate the transition to DMSI, as well as other things. ( ) [EDIT FOR FUTURE READERS: I made a mistake here, I wrote 3x1, 7x0, which is 3 days of 1 loop followed by 7 days of 0 loops, when I intended to write 1x3, 7x0, which means 1 day of 3 loops, 7 days of 0 loops. The 3x1, 7x0 system is the official, modeled ASRB2 for resistant types. I made this error because I am very smart, as you can all clearly see!]

I did one loop last night, and am feeling pretty well, stuff is getting worked on etc. I also cannot complain about my current financial situation at all, I'm comfortable for the time being. I am noticing myself pondering at times what to do with all of the monies that will be coming my way thanks to UMS! I'm definitely getting a grand piano, and I will be having sex on top of it (lol). As well as a private practice space, with soundproofing and everything. I'm really fed up with having to drive around town to do my bardic practice in relative comfort!

Anyroad, when I do two loops, I can tell my subC is working overtime and thus requires more sleep because what it is doing is too taxing on the nervous system to stay awake at the same time. It's mostly the EPHRA aspect as far as I can tell - there's lots of stuff going just below the consciousness, but going waaaay too fast for it to be able to process it. On one loop, this is more perceivable and gentle (I'm actually getting dreams I can remember when running one loop).

Two loops seem to be hitting deeper stuff, though. I can tell, because I want to listen to angrrry derp metalz \m/ and stuff like that - basically, "angry at fate and stuff" type of stuff (so basically angry at my deep subconscious, lawl).

The improvements to FRM are making a difference for the healing aspect, definitely. Some of the stuff I am noticing that my subC is working through would have woken me up with a start and feelings of anxiety on the earlier FRMs.

I believe the program is trying to do *a lot* of stuff at once. And it is working. Trouble is, for a more radical approach, an "easing-in" process might be necessary to get the subC used to getting this heavy a workout (and mine's used to getting worked *hard*).

[Shannon]

3x1, 7x0 means 3 days of 1 loop per day and 7 days off. Not 3 loops per day.

Please edit the post to comply with Rule #4. 

And I did tell you guys 1:7 at one loop or 3:7 at one loop.  Maybe this is why the models gave me those numbers.

[Have at ye]

Whoopsie.



It'll be 1x3, 7x0 then. I do have the time tomorrow to sleep it off if push comes to shove. In the name of YOLO.

EDITED the previous post; hopefully it doesn't make too little sense now.

Boy, am I in a mischievous mood for some reason. I'm also kinda happy, haha.

[Have at ye]

So I did the 3 back-to-back loops last night, the first two felt *amazing*, and then I fell asleep somewhere during the third one. I woke up feeling dehydrated and with a slight headache (so that's probably due to the strain on the brain, lol), but it's passed after I hydrated up.

Felt a lot of action going on in the lower back area, also along the perineum as well as kidneys. It's funny, because it actually results in me getting turned on sexually, lol.

Now let's let it bloooooooom.

[Shannon]

What happened to 3 days at 1 loop per day?