UMS. Let’s get at it

[HMoody]

I've really enjoyed following your journal entries so far Paul. I don't comment much on here but a thought did strike me as I was reading your last couple of entries. Have you considered that this desire to switch to another subliminal might just be a very subtle form of resistance?

UMS might well guide you into your chosen career if you continue to use it. Since UMS maximizes available channels...it would seem logical to assume that it would guide you into your chosen career with much more success. Seems strange to want to go back to a 5G sub all of a sudden. Why not just go for your chosen career while using UMS? Wouldn't that would work just as well if not better than FYPJ?

Just some things to consider. It is your decision in the end of course.

[Infinite]

I need some advice.  I’ve mentioned some of this before, so bear with me here.  My next goal after financially stabilizing us is to get back into the career I really want to be in.  I have two ways of doing that.  The first, which has worked like a charm twice is to use Find your perfect job in 5G.  That got me essentially the same job twice within two months each time.  The bad news is that I managed to mess it up both times due to fear, self sabotage and all that fun stuff.  The second option is to set that as my only goal and use the next version of USLM.  The good with that is that it’ll have FRM and all the good 5.75 G stuff, so I’ll be all FRMed up and on it when on the job training starts.  The bad part is that getting the job was my second goal on USLM 1-3 and LTU, and I got nothing.  In fact I had some pretty out there stuff happen to stop me from getting one of the jobs I went for.  
I have two potential game plans.  Number one is th start USLM as soon as I’m done with the purely financial goal and have  the goal of getting another job in the field.  Option number two is to run FYPJ until I’m sure I’m hired and then jump right on USLM for the OJT part.  Thoughts?

I would think that if it was your perfect job that the job would have worked out.  Having messed it up twice makes me think that it wasn't the perfect job.  Is it possible that's what the sub was trying to show you? Being on UMS showed me that a job that I thought would be good for me was not good at all.   
If it was indeed the perfect job for you then you would need to work on the destructive thoughts that led to the behavior that messed it up.  Get the right subliminal plus get some counseling.
I think that UMS should lead you to the right job and help you to attain it.  When my SO was on USLM3, he got an unexpected job offer.  Even though it was a huge change for our lifestyle, making the switch was easy, things just flowed.

[Paul1131]

I need some advice.  I’ve mentioned some of this before, so bear with me here.  My next goal after financially stabilizing us is to get back into the career I really want to be in.  I have two ways of doing that.  The first, which has worked like a charm twice is to use Find your perfect job in 5G.  That got me essentially the same job twice within two months each time.  The bad news is that I managed to mess it up both times due to fear, self sabotage and all that fun stuff.  The second option is to set that as my only goal and use the next version of USLM.  The good with that is that it’ll have FRM and all the good 5.75 G stuff, so I’ll be all FRMed up and on it when on the job training starts.  The bad part is that getting the job was my second goal on USLM 1-3 and LTU, and I got nothing.  In fact I had some pretty out there stuff happen to stop me from getting one of the jobs I went for.  
I have two potential game plans.  Number one is th start USLM as soon as I’m done with the purely financial goal and have  the goal of getting another job in the field.  Option number two is to run FYPJ until I’m sure I’m hired and then jump right on USLM for the OJT part.  Thoughts?

I would think that if it was your perfect job that the job would have worked out.  Having messed it up twice makes me think that it wasn't the perfect job.  Is it possible that's what the sub was trying to show you? Being on UMS showed me that a job that I thought would be good for me was not good at all.   
If it was indeed the perfect job for you then you would need to work on the destructive thoughts that led to the behavior that messed it up.  Get the right subliminal plus get some counseling.
I think that UMS should lead you to the right job and help you to attain it.  When my SO was on USLM3, he got an unexpected job offer.  Even though it was a huge change for our lifestyle, making the switch was easy, things just flowed.

FYPJ landed me in the same job twice.  It was the job I had been going for for years before that, but just couldn’t get over the hurdle.  I believe that my issue was largely that I always thought of myself as a failure before that, and succeeding at the one major thing I’ve really ever dedicated myself to really scared the hell out of that part of me.  I self sabotaged like hell when it came down to it.  I didn’t have the tools to deal with it then.  I do now.  
If that isn’t my perfect job, then I don’t know what is either, but I don’t seem to be coming up with any other ideas.  All of my education and experience is geared toward that and two closely related fields, so I don’t think that UMS is going to lead me anywhere different.  I do have some time to think on it though.  
Thanks for your perspective.

[Shannon]

UMS might lead you somewhere completely different indeed. My formal education is in science, English and photography. Yet here I am making subliminals for a living, and my subconscious is taking me in new directions again because of UMS.

You, sir, are limiting your options. I would put money on the table that you cannot and will not achieve "unlimited financial wealth" by doing whatever job you're talking about. So unless you are using it as a stepping stone to fund something else, you're limiting your options.

[Paul1131]

UMS might lead you somewhere completely different indeed.  My formal education is in science, English and photography.  Yet here I am making subliminals for a living, and my subconscious is taking me in new directions again because of UMS.

You, sir, are limiting your options.  I would put money on the table that you cannot and will not achieve "unlimited financial wealth" by doing whatever job you're talking about.  So unless you are using it as a stepping stone to fund something else, you're limiting your options.

Yes, I’m limiting my options.  On purpose.  This has been my goal career wise for a very long time, it’s something that’s more than just a paycheck.  
My plan has always been to get the financial problems solved, get my career back on track, and then I can see where to go from there.

I think that I need to make at least one more good try at it.
If that doesn’t work, I may have to swallow a very bitter pill, but I’m not ready for that yet.

EDIT:  More honest answer.  If I can succeed at this where my subconscious has managed to trip me up at every turn, it’s concrete evidence that I’ve grown, and can now win where I’ve continually lost, and the opportunity to close a chapter with a success.  
Will I move on to something else afterwards?  Maybe, but I’d much rather move on from there.
Besides which, the time I spent actually doing it was among the most rewarding of my life.

[Paul1131]

Oh MAN! I haven’t had as emotionally rough night as last night in a very long time. I seem to have triggered something when I started talking about giving up on my career aspirations. I felt , not quite a sense of panic last night, but I felt that giving up on that would be giving up on myself. I have been mentally defining a large part of ME by this career choice for well over a decade. Giving up on that would be a major blow to my self image, plus an admission that I have completely and utterly failed at the one thing I’ve really set myself to accomplish, really stuck to, and that succeeding at would really make me feel good about myself. I am not even remotely interested in doing anything else for a living. THIS SUCKS. No sooner did I say I wasn’t ready to swallow that bitter pill than I start to choke it down.
Previous versions of FRM didn’t do this. They were great at erasing fear at shallower levels without me really noticing much, or it causing me much pain. Ever since I mentioned that connection with my subconscious kicking in, it’s been working at a deeper level, and I’m a lot more conscious of it. I’m guessing that that’s a good thing. The fear was still there on previous versions, rearing it’s ugly head most notably when I sat for job interviews. This seems to be getting rid of it on much deeper levels, it’s just rough.
When I woke up this afternoon, I had a very heavy feeling in my head. It feels like I’m trying to move a huge boulder out of my way. It’s a purely mental exhaustion though, it took me a minute to realize that I feel physically fine. I’m only on day two or three of bloom. I don’t know wether to run more loops tonight or not.

[Ale]

Paul, I get what you mean but sometimes we gotta do things we like less, or don't like at all, in order to achieve what we really want.

I sincerely hope that your chosen career can give you all the money you will ever need and more. But if it doesn't, would you rather follow your career now and forget about money? or will you choose money now by pursuing other opportunities?

The way I see it, the second option at least leaves the door open for your chosen career once you have the money to do whatever you want.

My example: I have a career, which I realized I don't really enjoy. But if I want money to do what I really wanna do, I need to continue working in my current job to be able to invest money and get rich. I know my current job won't make me rich, but it gives me the chance to invest money to do so.

[Shannon]

If you want that specific job, just use it to achieve the bigger goals you and UMS have. Problem solved.

[Paul1131]

If you want that specific job, just use it to achieve the bigger goals you and UMS have.  Problem solved.

That’s the plan my man.

[Paul1131]

My best friend is an ex military guy, and one of his favorite phrases is “embrace the suck”. That started going through my head repeatedly while I was getting ready for and driving to work. That seemed to cause the mental turmoil caused by exposing a deeper fear to abate a bit. This may suck right now, but I need to get these things that are buried in my subconscious taken care of if I want to get anywhere in life, if some mental discomfort is the price I have to pay for that, so be it. Suck embraced.
Then my subconscious started giving information again. It started with another phrase “I need to be a hero because I’ve been a coward”. That started playing on repeat along with “embrace the suck”. That lead quickly to me thinking about why I chose the career I wanted, and why I am so attached to getting there. It’s a physically dangerous job, but one that forces you to face fear and perform while scared. That’s something that I felt I needed, and now I know why.
I was a fearful kid. I don’t know when it started, and I don’t know why, but by the time I was a teenager I chickened out on a lot of things, from sports to fights that I should have been in, to social stuff. Heck, I was almost completely unable to talk to girls I was attracted to. There was just paralyzing fear in a lot of situations. This caused me to have a lot of shame growing up.
Around the end of high school, I got through some of it. I won a few fights, I had some success with girls. But that sense of being a coward deep down persisted. Since then I’ve been trying to do things to prove to myself that I’m not that.
Of course, this didn’t just come to me in words, my subconscious treated me to a multimedia slide show of all the times I’ve let fear defeat me (maybe not all, but good highlight reel, not fun).
It also showed me a kind of diagram. It was it told me how fear works in the subconscious. (This is hard to describe) it looked like an octopus or a plant buried in the bedrock of the mind. There were all kinds of tendrils coming off a central node that had four pieces (don’t know if that’s important). They went up a level, and they each of them formed a node with a bunch of tendrils that went up another level until the surface which was crawling with tentacle/tendril tips that can week havoc.
What I was doing, was ripping apart a very large node several levels down that contained the fears that I just described. Kinda cool as well as being brutal. It explains why I feel like I’m pushing a rock in my head, and why it feels like somebody took an eggbeater to my brain.

[Shannon]

My best friend is an ex military guy, and one of his favorite phrases is “embrace the suck”.  That started going through my head repeatedly while  I was getting ready for and driving to work.  That seemed to cause the mental turmoil caused by exposing a deeper fear to abate a bit.  This may suck right now, but I need to get these things that are buried in my subconscious taken care of if I want to get anywhere in life, if some mental discomfort is the price I have to pay for that, so be it.  Suck embraced.  
Then my subconscious started giving information again.  It started with another phrase “I need to be a hero because I’ve been a coward”.  That started playing on repeat along with “embrace the suck”.  That lead quickly to me thinking about why I chose the career I wanted, and why I am so attached to getting there.  It’s a physically dangerous job, but one that forces you to face fear and perform while scared.  That’s something that I felt I needed, and now I know why.  
I was a fearful kid.  I don’t know when it started, and I don’t know why, but by the time I was a teenager I chickened out on a lot of things, from sports to fights that I should have been in, to social stuff.  Heck, I was almost completely unable to talk to girls I was attracted to.  There was just paralyzing fear in a lot of situations.  This caused me to have a lot of shame growing up.  
Around the end of high school, I got through some of it.    I won a few fights, I had some success with girls.  But that sense of being a coward deep down persisted.  Since then I’ve been trying to do things to prove to myself that I’m not that.  
Of course, this didn’t just come to me in words, my subconscious treated me to a multimedia slide show of all the times I’ve let fear defeat me (maybe not all, but good highlight reel, not fun).  
It also showed me a kind of diagram.  It was it told me how fear works in the subconscious.  (This is hard to describe) it looked like an octopus or a plant buried in the bedrock of the mind.  There were all kinds of tendrils coming off a central node that had four pieces (don’t know if that’s important). They went up a level, and they each of them formed a node with a bunch of tendrils that went up another level until the surface which was crawling with tentacle/tendril tips that can week havoc.  
What I was doing, was ripping apart a very large node several levels down that contained the fears that I just described.  Kinda cool as well as being brutal.  It explains why I feel like I’m pushing a rock in my head, and why it feels like somebody took an eggbeater to my brain.

Hey, make sure you only give me the secrets to how to defeat fear, 'kay?  lol

[Paul1131]

My best friend is an ex military guy, and one of his favorite phrases is “embrace the suck”.  That started going through my head repeatedly while  I was getting ready for and driving to work.  That seemed to cause the mental turmoil caused by exposing a deeper fear to abate a bit.  This may suck right now, but I need to get these things that are buried in my subconscious taken care of if I want to get anywhere in life, if some mental discomfort is the price I have to pay for that, so be it.  Suck embraced.  
Then my subconscious started giving information again.  It started with another phrase “I need to be a hero because I’ve been a coward”.  That started playing on repeat along with “embrace the suck”.  That lead quickly to me thinking about why I chose the career I wanted, and why I am so attached to getting there.  It’s a physically dangerous job, but one that forces you to face fear and perform while scared.  That’s something that I felt I needed, and now I know why.  
I was a fearful kid.  I don’t know when it started, and I don’t know why, but by the time I was a teenager I chickened out on a lot of things, from sports to fights that I should have been in, to social stuff.  Heck, I was almost completely unable to talk to girls I was attracted to.  There was just paralyzing fear in a lot of situations.  This caused me to have a lot of shame growing up.  
Around the end of high school, I got through some of it.    I won a few fights, I had some success with girls.  But that sense of being a coward deep down persisted.  Since then I’ve been trying to do things to prove to myself that I’m not that.  
Of course, this didn’t just come to me in words, my subconscious treated me to a multimedia slide show of all the times I’ve let fear defeat me (maybe not all, but good highlight reel, not fun).  
It also showed me a kind of diagram.  It was it told me how fear works in the subconscious.  (This is hard to describe) it looked like an octopus or a plant buried in the bedrock of the mind.  There were all kinds of tendrils coming off a central node that had four pieces (don’t know if that’s important). They went up a level, and they each of them formed a node with a bunch of tendrils that went up another level until the surface which was crawling with tentacle/tendril tips that can week havoc.  
What I was doing, was ripping apart a very large node several levels down that contained the fears that I just described.  Kinda cool as well as being brutal.  It explains why I feel like I’m pushing a rock in my head, and why it feels like somebody took an eggbeater to my brain.

Hey, make sure you only give me the secrets to how to defeat fear, 'kay?  lol

The secret is a giant eggbeater.  Now you all know.

I should have a lot of down time to do some writing at work tonight. I’ll get what (I think) I have written up and sent to the back end.

[Shannon]

My best friend is an ex military guy, and one of his favorite phrases is “embrace the suck”.  That started going through my head repeatedly while  I was getting ready for and driving to work.  That seemed to cause the mental turmoil caused by exposing a deeper fear to abate a bit.  This may suck right now, but I need to get these things that are buried in my subconscious taken care of if I want to get anywhere in life, if some mental discomfort is the price I have to pay for that, so be it.  Suck embraced.  
Then my subconscious started giving information again.  It started with another phrase “I need to be a hero because I’ve been a coward”.  That started playing on repeat along with “embrace the suck”.  That lead quickly to me thinking about why I chose the career I wanted, and why I am so attached to getting there.  It’s a physically dangerous job, but one that forces you to face fear and perform while scared.  That’s something that I felt I needed, and now I know why.  
I was a fearful kid.  I don’t know when it started, and I don’t know why, but by the time I was a teenager I chickened out on a lot of things, from sports to fights that I should have been in, to social stuff.  Heck, I was almost completely unable to talk to girls I was attracted to.  There was just paralyzing fear in a lot of situations.  This caused me to have a lot of shame growing up.  
Around the end of high school, I got through some of it.    I won a few fights, I had some success with girls.  But that sense of being a coward deep down persisted.  Since then I’ve been trying to do things to prove to myself that I’m not that.  
Of course, this didn’t just come to me in words, my subconscious treated me to a multimedia slide show of all the times I’ve let fear defeat me (maybe not all, but good highlight reel, not fun).  
It also showed me a kind of diagram.  It was it told me how fear works in the subconscious.  (This is hard to describe) it looked like an octopus or a plant buried in the bedrock of the mind.  There were all kinds of tendrils coming off a central node that had four pieces (don’t know if that’s important). They went up a level, and they each of them formed a node with a bunch of tendrils that went up another level until the surface which was crawling with tentacle/tendril tips that can week havoc.  
What I was doing, was ripping apart a very large node several levels down that contained the fears that I just described.  Kinda cool as well as being brutal.  It explains why I feel like I’m pushing a rock in my head, and why it feels like somebody took an eggbeater to my brain.

Hey, make sure you only give me the secrets to how to defeat fear, 'kay?  lol

The secret is a giant eggbeater.  Now you all know.  

I should have a lot of down time to do some writing at work tonight.  I’ll get what (I think) I have written up and sent to the back end.

Much obliged.  Amusing how what you described is so similar to the model I have developed for what fear "looks like".

[Paul1131]

My best friend is an ex military guy, and one of his favorite phrases is “embrace the suck”.  That started going through my head repeatedly while  I was getting ready for and driving to work.  That seemed to cause the mental turmoil caused by exposing a deeper fear to abate a bit.  This may suck right now, but I need to get these things that are buried in my subconscious taken care of if I want to get anywhere in life, if some mental discomfort is the price I have to pay for that, so be it.  Suck embraced.  
Then my subconscious started giving information again.  It started with another phrase “I need to be a hero because I’ve been a coward”.  That started playing on repeat along with “embrace the suck”.  That lead quickly to me thinking about why I chose the career I wanted, and why I am so attached to getting there.  It’s a physically dangerous job, but one that forces you to face fear and perform while scared.  That’s something that I felt I needed, and now I know why.  
I was a fearful kid.  I don’t know when it started, and I don’t know why, but by the time I was a teenager I chickened out on a lot of things, from sports to fights that I should have been in, to social stuff.  Heck, I was almost completely unable to talk to girls I was attracted to.  There was just paralyzing fear in a lot of situations.  This caused me to have a lot of shame growing up.  
Around the end of high school, I got through some of it.    I won a few fights, I had some success with girls.  But that sense of being a coward deep down persisted.  Since then I’ve been trying to do things to prove to myself that I’m not that.  
Of course, this didn’t just come to me in words, my subconscious treated me to a multimedia slide show of all the times I’ve let fear defeat me (maybe not all, but good highlight reel, not fun).  
It also showed me a kind of diagram.  It was it told me how fear works in the subconscious.  (This is hard to describe) it looked like an octopus or a plant buried in the bedrock of the mind.  There were all kinds of tendrils coming off a central node that had four pieces (don’t know if that’s important). They went up a level, and they each of them formed a node with a bunch of tendrils that went up another level until the surface which was crawling with tentacle/tendril tips that can week havoc.  
What I was doing, was ripping apart a very large node several levels down that contained the fears that I just described.  Kinda cool as well as being brutal.  It explains why I feel like I’m pushing a rock in my head, and why it feels like somebody took an eggbeater to my brain.

Hey, make sure you only give me the secrets to how to defeat fear, 'kay?  lol

The secret is a giant eggbeater.  Now you all know.  

I should have a lot of down time to do some writing at work tonight.  I’ll get what (I think) I have written up and sent to the back end.

Much obliged.  Amusing how what you described is so similar to the model I have developed for what fear "looks like".

Just sent you a rather long email through the contact us thing on the store.  I hope that’s how you intended for me to do it.  I also hope it’s helpful.