UH is awesome

[Shannon]

Another problem causing my depression is perfectionism, deep in my mind there is a belief telling me to be perfect on everything and if I fail or something then I'm stupid, an idiot, a shit head or things like that and then I stop or try again but my mind and body just give up and I do it even worse than before, then anger starts building up and things get bad, it's like I have to get everything right in the first try and make me feel bad especially in my stomach and head when I get it wrong, my belief of life sucks is getting enhanced.

So what you have to realize, understand and accept, is that nobody is or can be perfect, and perfection is a goal, not a destination.  Making mistakes is not failing, it is learning what does not work so that you can understand what does work, and achieve the goal.  Therefore, to achieve the closest you can get to perfection, YOU MUST FAIL FIRST, and then when you use that failure to achieve success, it stops being failure and becomes a stepping stone to success instead.

Failure is only truly possible if and when you GIVE UP.

When I was what I call a "fatal perfectionist", which you are describing in your thinking, I had my whole world turned around by this quote by William E. Gladstone:

No man ever became great except through many and great mistakes.

And of course it is just as true for women.

So instead of seeing failure when you try and do not succeed, realize that you have taken a step towards success, but you're not yet finished learning how to succeed.  If you keep at it, you'll take enough steps to accomplish your success.  If you give up trying, you can never succeed, and therefore giving up is the only way to fail.