Stage 5, Cycle 2, Day 3
Been awhile. I keep up with the forum, but when it comes to journaling my own experience, I haven't felt much like sharing. But, I feel like an update is due.
The stress of the pandemic, cabin fever, homeschooling, and having zero social outlet has taken a toll on me. My stress and anxiety has been near out-of-control. Yet, I somehow am able to keep a pretty good reign on my emotions and anger. Without LTU6, I think I'd be in the nut house by now.
I've been taking some "fearless" financial risks with cryptocurrency. Some results have been good, and some have not. It's all good in the long-term, but in the short term I over leveraged myself. Greed and wanting to maximize profits has bit me in the ass here and there. Then the fear kicks in. Even so, I am learning a lot about what is intuition and what is pure impulsiveness. Making more informed decisions, rather than just "trusting my gut." My gut - or what I thought was my gut - has fucked me over a couple of times, lol. In other instances, my gut was right, but the "whisper" was too damn soft. It's like I had the thought/intuition to do something, but it was so subtle I ended up just ignoring it.
Drinking alcohol has been out-of-control. I'm sure it's a form of self-medication for the anxiety, fear, boredom. It's just dumb. And then I overeat, so I've taken two steps back on the weight loss journey. I am working actively on turning this bullshit around, however. Still not feeling any motivation to exercise.
Motivation to clean and/or do mundane tasks isn't high, but at the same time, getting them done is no big deal. Those kinds of things used to weigh heavily on me, and now I just take care of it like I'm on autopilot.
I've had some nasty fights with my wife, lately. To the point where I'm totally sick of it. The stress of the holidays, the virus, and everything piling up has taken its toll on both of us. But, we're working on it.
Sex life, for the aforementioned reasons, has suffered. My libido is pretty high, but neither of us has much interest right now.
My wife got her COVID vaccination. Her 2nd will be in 21 days, and then she's good-to-go. I hope to get mine before March, but we'll see.
Something about my energy has my cats and kids glued to me 24/7. So much so that my wife feels left out. She doesn't get consistent exposure to LTU, so that may be part of the problem. That, or my energy just kicks her energy's ass.
Dreams on Stage 4 were mostly forgotten. So far, I've remembered a few on Stage 5. Crazy stuff. I had a sexual one where I was licking a chick's asshole to give her an orgasm. WTF? Lol, something I've definitely never done IRL. Anyway, apparently the anus has symbolic meaning in dreams, and in this case it's supposedly positive. Last night I had another disturbing dream, and I am honestly too drained to get into it. Something about being in Hawaii (my favorite place) and getting rained on by potentially poisonous experimental material that changes people genetically, and then potentially being attacked/taken over by aliens. Yeah. (???)
That's all I got. Hope everyone is having a good holiday season, to their best ability, anyway!
Been awhile. I keep up with the forum, but when it comes to journaling my own experience, I haven't felt much like sharing. But, I feel like an update is due.
The stress of the pandemic, cabin fever, homeschooling, and having zero social outlet has taken a toll on me. My stress and anxiety has been near out-of-control. Yet, I somehow am able to keep a pretty good reign on my emotions and anger. Without LTU6, I think I'd be in the nut house by now.
I've been taking some "fearless" financial risks with cryptocurrency. Some results have been good, and some have not. It's all good in the long-term, but in the short term I over leveraged myself. Greed and wanting to maximize profits has bit me in the ass here and there. Then the fear kicks in. Even so, I am learning a lot about what is intuition and what is pure impulsiveness. Making more informed decisions, rather than just "trusting my gut." My gut - or what I thought was my gut - has fucked me over a couple of times, lol. In other instances, my gut was right, but the "whisper" was too damn soft. It's like I had the thought/intuition to do something, but it was so subtle I ended up just ignoring it.
Drinking alcohol has been out-of-control. I'm sure it's a form of self-medication for the anxiety, fear, boredom. It's just dumb. And then I overeat, so I've taken two steps back on the weight loss journey. I am working actively on turning this bullshit around, however. Still not feeling any motivation to exercise.
Motivation to clean and/or do mundane tasks isn't high, but at the same time, getting them done is no big deal. Those kinds of things used to weigh heavily on me, and now I just take care of it like I'm on autopilot.
I've had some nasty fights with my wife, lately. To the point where I'm totally sick of it. The stress of the holidays, the virus, and everything piling up has taken its toll on both of us. But, we're working on it.
Sex life, for the aforementioned reasons, has suffered. My libido is pretty high, but neither of us has much interest right now.
My wife got her COVID vaccination. Her 2nd will be in 21 days, and then she's good-to-go. I hope to get mine before March, but we'll see.
Something about my energy has my cats and kids glued to me 24/7. So much so that my wife feels left out. She doesn't get consistent exposure to LTU, so that may be part of the problem. That, or my energy just kicks her energy's ass.
Dreams on Stage 4 were mostly forgotten. So far, I've remembered a few on Stage 5. Crazy stuff. I had a sexual one where I was licking a chick's asshole to give her an orgasm. WTF? Lol, something I've definitely never done IRL. Anyway, apparently the anus has symbolic meaning in dreams, and in this case it's supposedly positive. Last night I had another disturbing dream, and I am honestly too drained to get into it. Something about being in Hawaii (my favorite place) and getting rained on by potentially poisonous experimental material that changes people genetically, and then potentially being attacked/taken over by aliens. Yeah. (???)
That's all I got. Hope everyone is having a good holiday season, to their best ability, anyway!
