The Upgrade Protocol- AM6 1st run

[Aventus45]

Are you considering getting into pick up?

yeah but I'm lost in the whole thing.

-What Should I do? Drag her into my man cave? (Kidding!)

-I have alot of fear going in because I don't want to use canned lines or anything of that sort. Pickup has a lot of negative connotations but it seems like if I want to take care of my needs I have to learn some kind of pickup.

[wolverine_i_am]

-I have alot of fear going in because I don't want to use canned lines or anything of that sort. Pickup has a lot of negative connotations but it seems like if I want to take care of my needs I have to learn some kind of pickup.

I don't think many people use canned lines anymore. If you've been following my journal, my style is very natural. I just go up to girls and chat them up like a normal person would.

[Aventus45]

-I have alot of fear going in because I don't want to use canned lines or anything of that sort. Pickup has a lot of negative connotations but it seems like if I want to take care of my needs I have to learn some kind of pickup.

I don't think many people use canned lines anymore. If you've been following my journal, my style is very natural. I just go up to girls and chat them up like a normal person would.

Yeah ill read up on Models by Mark Manson. It seems like a cool way to apprach the topic. One cool thing i liked is your mindset on pickup. You see it as a fun exciting hobby. I would love to get to that level.

[wolverine_i_am]

I've been doing it for a year now. Still have a long way to go. But you know, as long as anybody sticks at it, they are bound to get somewhere.

Don't fall into the trap of doing too much reading though. I first heard about pick up back in 2010, but it took me until 2015 to actually get started. I say this to everybody, no better time to get started other than now. Link up with local wingmen and push each other to approach. Pay for a bootcamp if you need to.

[Aventus45]

Im listening to Models as an Audiobook and it feels super relatable.
In models, he speaks about vulnerability and honesty and something that feels scary right now.
IRL
-I feel a lot better conversing with people. I used to be silent with co-workers but now I feel alot better and I was able to make small talk.
-Same coworker who sits next to me gave me this massive smile whenever I spoke to her. This is rare because I barely talk to her period. Must be the pheromones i was running.

[Aventus45]

Dreams
In a dream, one girl broke 2 of my values and i blew up in front of her. I got angry at her for breaking those two values. probably some stuff with my ex

Irl.
-still kinda nervous around women i found cute and social groups. I seem to be fine with women i dont feel any attraction with.

[chaosvrgn]

Hahhahaha I didn't have crazy dreams like that in my stage 1 lol.

Since the dawn of AM5, Users always had a Zombie dream or something lol.

I didn't believe this... until I had my first zombie dream the other night on AM6, lol. If you've ever played that game "Dynasty Warriors," that's what it was like. Some friends and I battling epic numbers of zombies. I chuckled when I woke up.

[Aventus45]

Hahhahaha I didn't have crazy dreams like that in my stage 1 lol.

Since the dawn of AM5, Users always had a Zombie dream or something lol.

I didn't believe this... until I had my first zombie dream the other night on AM6, lol. If you've ever played that game "Dynasty Warriors," that's what it was like. Some friends and I battling epic numbers of zombies. I chuckled when I woke up.

Dynasty Warriors LOL. literally a human zombie mower.

[Aventus45]

Day 8
Felt like shit for the entire morning and only in late after noon something clicked and my posture kicked up. Sure I still felt insecure about how fat I am(working on it).

Whenever I was trying to tap on something, my mind kept blanking out. I begin tapping on something and my mind conveniently stutters and forgets or distorts what i am tapping. If that isn't a form of resistance then I don't know what is

[Aventus45]

Day 11
Life situations and subs feels like i am being skinned alive. The exposed core of vulnerability feels very uncomfortable and raw. At this pojnt i found a core of me and the feeling can only feel like "The scared child inside an adult body".

[Aventus45]

Fear can be a motivator or a paralyzer but it depends on how the person perceives the emotion. My current frame on it is more of the paralysis. I am trying to reframe fear as the former.

IRL
My bottle of pheros leaked abit and the I basically inhaled a good amount of it. Aside from the mone high, I began enjoying my interactions more, and I felt the fear of being judged by others, but that fear felt easy to overcome. I was acting a bit sloppy in class and was being jabbed at by the professor for making silly remarks. My mind visualized a girl in the class and thought "I look fucking stupid". I thought "go fuck yourself" in a reactive but fun way and eventually was able to overcome it and have fun in the process.

After class, I started talking to this girl but the whole situation felt natural (in hindsight it was funny because it looked extremely awkward. it was mostly small talk but in the end my body was walking away from her as the conversation continued she seem to enjoy it and I did too.

I walk out of the building and I see a cute girl but my momentum came to a screeching halt........ at least I made progress in reframing interaction.

I am noticing a huge disparity between my internal view of myself and my external actions. Internally, I think of myself as a quiet sweet asian guy who has self esteem issues. Externally, I have and demonstrated the capacity to talk to people, have fun and talk to people in general. The crux of the matter is my internal view is limiting my external potential and embody the extroverted self that I strive for.

I just started talking to a guy who bought supplements. I started talking to him and I was very animated about it. We had an awesome time at the moment and we had alot of fun just conversing.

I had no problem giving props to people who deserved it. This older lady helped me prepare for a test and I just gave her alot of thanks. It felt natural.

For the time being, I think the pheros would be a sort of crutch until my internal reality/perception can mirror my external. I can however try to consciously work on the perception by continuing to talk to people and raise my internal to match the external.

[Aventus45]

A homeless man asked me to buy some food for him. I did but he tried to take advantage of my kindness and tried to buy some expensive food. I told him I will choose for him and got him something with half of the value of the item he wanted to get. I have no problem with giving to the needy but I wont be taken advantage of.

[Aventus45]

Internal reality: i suck because i cannot connect with people. I'll be a lonely dude.

External reality: had an amazing time with a girl in my theatre class. We watched a show together and enjoyed ourselves. We talked and my body language was pretty open. Honestly forgot her name and asked for it right before she left on her stop.

Beforehand i had extreme apprach anxiety towards this cute asian girl and i couldnt bring myself to talk to her. I was torn half way between not approach and by the time the battle was won she left :/

Stage one self image clearing is evident.

[wolverine_i_am]

Have you randomly approached a girl before? Or is it something you aren't sure what to expect?