The Relationship Dilemma....friendly advice requested

[Determined]

So I got married in an arranged marriage that I never wanted. I take responsibility for what lead up to that event. I wasn't in control of my life; I let time and life slip past my finger tips for the last 19 years. I guess life said "if you dont want to control your own life, someone else will" and lo and behold, I ended up in a marriage that I never wanted.

Now the damage is done, I have a "wife" that is in another country and cant even come to America let alone I dont want her.

She is in love with me and I am not with her.

I am now "woken up" to take responsibility for my life and actions and I know its hard because even though I have reached self realization this last month or so where I am now doing things I never did years and years before, I now am ready to "unfuck up the ***** up" to put it in a good way.

I know AM 6 is a good start; I just dont know how to get out of the mess I have been put in.

She is a great girl, smart loving and everything just that I guess I could do better.

On my first run of AM6, I broke up with gf at the time on Stage 1. We were heading towards marriage and I too come from a culture of arranged marriage. So much so that I've subconsciously wanted to marry every girl I've ever dated since I was 16 as it was apart of my cultural blue print.

Taking responsibility for one's self is an important step. It's a precursor to moving up in the world. No one will trust you as a man or give you power/ authority if you can't demonstrate consistent and progressive responsibility. Same goes for working in a company, senior level positions are reserved for the most responsible and most capable people. So as you can see, responsibility is a crucial step for a man in his development lest he remain a child.

Awakening to yourself is another important step. You're no longer beholden to whatever system it was that contained you. Understand that those systems exist because the people who are irresponsible tend to need that structure in order not to stray. Hence personal responsibility and awakening go hand in hand.

I'd very much recommend AM6 for your personal situation. It'll be a good guide to help you take those next steps which you seem to be ready for.