The Modern Libertine's diary

[Spiral]

hmm wow.. sucks we have to go into the dark before we can see the light. but... YOU GOT DIS

[RainbowAbyss]

truck it out Cortez! Fear made aware-is fear being released!
I've started Overcome fear early today, and the sub makes me feel less confidently decisive mentally
and more really able to go with impulses and instincts with more ease. Coming off 6 months
of Alpha and 5g confidence probably has you very grounded, solid, and decisive in yourself so its a different
kind of courage and fearlessness that's more 'woozy' ...maybe that sudden difference is what's causing the off feeling you talked about.
I actually took a nap today while listening to the sub and woke up all of a sudden feeling someone had grabbed me in my sleep lol
btw from my understanding huperzine is an Acetylcholinesterase inhibitor..meaning
it stops the enzyme that terminates the synaptic transmission of achetycholine...
In my experience with any neurotropic that leads to stronger dreams its usually more nightmarish than not.

[Cortez]

This program works very well. I have another entry in the adventures of Cortez now. It's just as ridiculous as all the other fiasco's I seem to find my way in to...

Last night I was hanging out with some people at a bar and this 23 year old stripper girl who was a friend of a friend was there and would not stop flirting. I was talking to her for a little while and she asked what I did for a living, I just smirked at her and told her. you don't want to know the answer to that and that drove her nuts for the rest of night. Later when we were talking she brought it up again and said her first guess would be a hustler and her second would be a CIA agent, lmao. She also kept asking me my last name, which I didn't give to her, because that's my new thing. I want girls I may mess around with to know as little about me as possible. I just personally find it amusing. At some point I get bored of talking to her and start talking to some guy. She was noticeably very horny and wandered off to talk to the DJ that was setting up his stuff. I knew that wasn't going anywhere, so when she came back from talking to the DJ I was thinking "Game time!"

I leaned in and asked her "He didn't give you what you need?" and she said "No..." with this sad puppy look in her eye's. I pulled her over and just started making out with her at the bar and boy was she ravenous. I led her out of the bar and when we were in the parking lot, I picked her up and carried her to my car. We got in the back and start taking clothes off/ throwing other clothes aside(The back of my car was kind of messy already) and messed around for a while. We were about to have full blown sex, but I suddenly realized we were parked RIGHT outside the bar when I saw some kind standing there smoking a cigarette watching us. It was kind of funny, but still I said "Damn! That guy was just standing there watching us." So we made plans to go to her house, but she needed to give my friend a ride home since he drove there with her. I realized after she left that I didn't have her number, not that it would matter anyway because I somehow managed to lose my phone. I got annoyed and just went home instead deciding that was enough fun for one night.

Fun night, but losing my phone was annoying. Luckily for me, I'm such a Luddite that the most advanced piece of technology I ever use is a texting phone. I have yet to get a smart phone and probably never will.

Needless to say, I've been feeling extra crispy lately and whenever I do, stuff like that happens. The "off" feeling is gone and now I am strictly locked in the "ON" position...at least for the time being. I still have a few more months or more on this sub...

[Ryan]

Lol. Great story!

I used to tell them I was either a male prostitute or that I owned a dozen porn sites. It's interesting the look on their faces when you say it with a straight face.

[Benjamin]

Wow that's awesome Cortez! It's funny if you had fucked her right there she would have been okay with it but then wouldn't take you to her place.

It reminds me of a girl that once said to me "i'm not going to lose my virginity to a guy I barely know in the front seat of his car". And a few hours later we did it in the back seat of my car. Hahaha..

Hahahaha yes Ryan! I use to do the old telling them I was a stripper and some seemed to believe me. I remember one I told I was a giggolo and she actually started asking "how much and what services do you provide" and I got uncomfortable like "oh damn" and didn't take it anywhere. :Z

-Ben

[RainbowAbyss]

haha awesomeness!!

[Cortez]

She was down for anything, Benjamin. I seem to attract those types of girls. I'm a wild beast and tend to attract people of a like nature, but that's great for me because those are my favorite type of girls anyway.

[Shannon]

Like attracts like.

[Cortez]

Yeah, if I ever want a different type of girl, I'll definitely have to calm down, lol.

[Cortez]

I'm feeling good. Every anxiety or whatever that I may have had seems to get dimmer by the day.

So the drive to workout like a maniac has not stopped since AM. In fact, it has continued getting stronger. I weighed myself the other day at the gym and I'm at 196lbs. now. and still cut. I am quite pleased indeed...

[Shannon]

That's cause AM kicks ass.

[Cortez]

It's an incredible set. I'll be doing 5.0 after I finish up this Overcoming Fear sub.



I feel like I'm calming down again, which is great. I have these bouts where I feel like a beast unchained just like I need to get all my primal energy out out of my system in a big burst. Maybe next time I'll go on a walkabout or something instead of booze and debauchery, lol.

I haven't noticed much else lately with this sub.

[RainbowAbyss]

yeah I'm almost two weeks in to OF and getting insane burst of being unchained and full of primal energy, when there
is no outlet..its about like being a chained animal but happier. Like I can't always figure
out how to use this new sense of lack of inhibition lol The easiest way is debauchery but
that has to be reigned in for the big picture at times.

[K-Train]

So Rainbow and Cortez, since you guys are doing Overcome Fear, do you still maintain the ability to think before you act? This is a concern I have about OF because as much as I'd love to experience a feeling of unhibition, I don't want to be in spring break mode 24/7 if ya know what I mean .