07-15-2015, 03:13 AM
Day 15
Weight: 83.2 kg
Change: -0.6kg
I lost some weight this week apparently, but for most of the week it was stagnant at 83.7-83.8, which started to seriously really piss me off. I really hate my body sometimes when I was able to hold my weight while eating like a pig while now it's so hard to lose weight while running and being careful of what I eat. Makes me think that my metabolism is screwed up somehow. Or maybe I'm gaining muscle ... by running? That would be something new.
If I sound a bit angry or passive-aggressive in paragraph above it's because sub is putting quite a bit of emotional strain on me. It really makes me appreciate internal equilibrium I've achieved during AM, now undone because my past is coming back at me. It's nothing I can't manage, but it's just silly for me that I've been trying to deal with those issues for 9 months with LTU and AM and now they return.
At least my motivation is stronger than ever. Maybe it has something to do with this emotional strain, after all the reason why I started running all those years ago was to have a way to ventilate all my emotions connected to heartbreak I had at the time. Anyhow even if I don't want to because lazy or bad weather I somehow find myself going for a jog everyday (expect rest days of course). I've run around 45 km this week which is a lot for, and that includes my best 10k run this year. So at least on this front I find myself proud.
Weight: 83.2 kg
Change: -0.6kg
I lost some weight this week apparently, but for most of the week it was stagnant at 83.7-83.8, which started to seriously really piss me off. I really hate my body sometimes when I was able to hold my weight while eating like a pig while now it's so hard to lose weight while running and being careful of what I eat. Makes me think that my metabolism is screwed up somehow. Or maybe I'm gaining muscle ... by running? That would be something new.
If I sound a bit angry or passive-aggressive in paragraph above it's because sub is putting quite a bit of emotional strain on me. It really makes me appreciate internal equilibrium I've achieved during AM, now undone because my past is coming back at me. It's nothing I can't manage, but it's just silly for me that I've been trying to deal with those issues for 9 months with LTU and AM and now they return.
At least my motivation is stronger than ever. Maybe it has something to do with this emotional strain, after all the reason why I started running all those years ago was to have a way to ventilate all my emotions connected to heartbreak I had at the time. Anyhow even if I don't want to because lazy or bad weather I somehow find myself going for a jog everyday (expect rest days of course). I've run around 45 km this week which is a lot for, and that includes my best 10k run this year. So at least on this front I find myself proud.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
