04-16-2016, 12:03 PM
If there is anything I've learnt this weekend, it's that I'm naive. Perhaps good-hearted, but still naive fool. And quite conflicted one.
Here's the story. I'm still in contact with that girl I lost virginity with 2 months ago or so. She's been through a rough relationship and now is in the phase of "adventuring", where by adventure I mean casual sex with guys met in the clubs. And I have no problem with that, at first I didn't really intent her to be anything more than FWB. But now things are a bit different, she says she's in love with me and I got deep into her mind. And although she seems to mean it, at the same time she keeps on adventuring while not even wanting to make out with me.
So this weekend we had a talk, one of those where I get under her skin, and she got very emotional. This obviously made me soft and beta, making me want to fight for her even despite her behavior. And don't get me wrong, there are number of reasons why she's worth fighting for, but not while she disrespects me like this. Thankfully now that the trip is done I can rethink my approach to her. I don't think I'll share it with you, but it will probably sound something like: "I will not be troubled by her, if she gives me drama I'll ignore her and whatever happens I must focus on my Mission, not some girl."
That should give me some space until next emotional conversation. God, why am I so soft?
Here's the story. I'm still in contact with that girl I lost virginity with 2 months ago or so. She's been through a rough relationship and now is in the phase of "adventuring", where by adventure I mean casual sex with guys met in the clubs. And I have no problem with that, at first I didn't really intent her to be anything more than FWB. But now things are a bit different, she says she's in love with me and I got deep into her mind. And although she seems to mean it, at the same time she keeps on adventuring while not even wanting to make out with me.
So this weekend we had a talk, one of those where I get under her skin, and she got very emotional. This obviously made me soft and beta, making me want to fight for her even despite her behavior. And don't get me wrong, there are number of reasons why she's worth fighting for, but not while she disrespects me like this. Thankfully now that the trip is done I can rethink my approach to her. I don't think I'll share it with you, but it will probably sound something like: "I will not be troubled by her, if she gives me drama I'll ignore her and whatever happens I must focus on my Mission, not some girl."
That should give me some space until next emotional conversation. God, why am I so soft?
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
