I don't know about anyone else, but it takes conscious work to feel good each day. If I just don't do certain processes or rituals each day It is not long before I starting going down vibrationally/emotionally. It is like I brush my teeth each day, I eat multiple times a day, I go toilet multiple times a day, I move my thoughts into better feeling places and focus on wanted aspect of my desires and where I am going multiple times a day.
If I don't do one of these things every day, there are major consequences. I really don't know how the average person functions, because if I don't consciously work on feeling better, my emotional state by default can easy go down, through focusing on my here and now reality.
What helps me to feel better is to focus on where I am going, somewhere that feels much better. I have to do this multiple times a day, deliberate and consciously! As soon as I slack in my focus, thoughts, feelings...Before I know it I am not feeling good and then it takes much more conscious effort to deliberately feel better.
Basically I have slacked off and I didn't even realise it and now it is going to take me a few days to move my emotional state into a better feelings places, my doing certain things that help me feel better either through focusing on more wanted aspects of life or through moving subjects (That I don't feel so good about) into better feeling places one thought at a time....So I gotta put the work in.
One thing that has changed lately is that, before I wanted to just focus on my goals and not be involved with a girl or have a girlfriend, so I can just focus on myself and go off and do a degree in a few years time etc. Which I understand as I don't want any distractions. I also kinda realised that the another reason is that I have a lot of resistance around the subject involving my living conditions, my parents and commitment with a girl etc. So it is much easier to just get of the subject and just focus on my goals.
What makes this more challenging is that I practise semen retention and there is a part of me that would like nothing more than to spread my seed, repeatedly.
So I have these mixed desires and resistance from each side.
What makes me feel better getting involved with a girl is when I think about her having her own place and me going into her life only, instead of her coming into my life. I have done this multiple times, my last 2 girlfriends, my last girlfriend wanted to come into my life eventually and visit and come to where I live (with my parents) and meet my parents. This was the worse feeling ever and I did not want to go there ever again because of past experience, as I was married for 4 years and me and my ex wife lived with my parents and my mother was basically married to my wife and it is was horrible, but! ...on keeping this in a positive feeling space, It was quite a few years ago and as long as a girl does not come here, while I am living here I feel completely fine.
This is another reason why I wanted to just focus on myself, as I want to eventually go do a degree in a few years and kinda built my own life from then on wards. It's all about me bettering myself and becoming independent and self sufficient, so I can eventually have my own house and have my own life, so when I do have a girlfriend she will come into MY life that I have created for myself and not my parents life.
So I thought to myself and made the decision a while ago, forget about women and just focus on myself and then in the future after all my studies and getting my own places....A lot if not all of my issues I have now around it will be gone because of the change in the circumstances.
It is a weird dilemma and more challenging when I meet a nice girl and/or I am super horny and my biology is screaming at me to in-pregnant some girl I am attracted to.
Nothing will happen with the girl I met, that I mentioned in previous posts but it got me thinking about how nice it would be to have a girlfriend and all that stuff. I started thinking about all this and thought to myself, I can have both if I want to, obviously I would have to clear up all my resistance on all these things relating to it. I felt fearful just thinking that, as I do not want to relive the past, which must of been a traumatic experience for me. What comes to mind is that I gotta be self sufficient and independent first! No matter what!!! It sucks but the only way I could do it is if the girl had her own place and I only go to hers and she never comes to mine and never meets my parents.
Anyway, I plan to do some stuff to feel better now.
If I don't do one of these things every day, there are major consequences. I really don't know how the average person functions, because if I don't consciously work on feeling better, my emotional state by default can easy go down, through focusing on my here and now reality.
What helps me to feel better is to focus on where I am going, somewhere that feels much better. I have to do this multiple times a day, deliberate and consciously! As soon as I slack in my focus, thoughts, feelings...Before I know it I am not feeling good and then it takes much more conscious effort to deliberately feel better.
Basically I have slacked off and I didn't even realise it and now it is going to take me a few days to move my emotional state into a better feelings places, my doing certain things that help me feel better either through focusing on more wanted aspects of life or through moving subjects (That I don't feel so good about) into better feeling places one thought at a time....So I gotta put the work in.
One thing that has changed lately is that, before I wanted to just focus on my goals and not be involved with a girl or have a girlfriend, so I can just focus on myself and go off and do a degree in a few years time etc. Which I understand as I don't want any distractions. I also kinda realised that the another reason is that I have a lot of resistance around the subject involving my living conditions, my parents and commitment with a girl etc. So it is much easier to just get of the subject and just focus on my goals.
What makes this more challenging is that I practise semen retention and there is a part of me that would like nothing more than to spread my seed, repeatedly.
So I have these mixed desires and resistance from each side.
What makes me feel better getting involved with a girl is when I think about her having her own place and me going into her life only, instead of her coming into my life. I have done this multiple times, my last 2 girlfriends, my last girlfriend wanted to come into my life eventually and visit and come to where I live (with my parents) and meet my parents. This was the worse feeling ever and I did not want to go there ever again because of past experience, as I was married for 4 years and me and my ex wife lived with my parents and my mother was basically married to my wife and it is was horrible, but! ...on keeping this in a positive feeling space, It was quite a few years ago and as long as a girl does not come here, while I am living here I feel completely fine.
This is another reason why I wanted to just focus on myself, as I want to eventually go do a degree in a few years and kinda built my own life from then on wards. It's all about me bettering myself and becoming independent and self sufficient, so I can eventually have my own house and have my own life, so when I do have a girlfriend she will come into MY life that I have created for myself and not my parents life.
So I thought to myself and made the decision a while ago, forget about women and just focus on myself and then in the future after all my studies and getting my own places....A lot if not all of my issues I have now around it will be gone because of the change in the circumstances.
It is a weird dilemma and more challenging when I meet a nice girl and/or I am super horny and my biology is screaming at me to in-pregnant some girl I am attracted to.
Nothing will happen with the girl I met, that I mentioned in previous posts but it got me thinking about how nice it would be to have a girlfriend and all that stuff. I started thinking about all this and thought to myself, I can have both if I want to, obviously I would have to clear up all my resistance on all these things relating to it. I felt fearful just thinking that, as I do not want to relive the past, which must of been a traumatic experience for me. What comes to mind is that I gotta be self sufficient and independent first! No matter what!!! It sucks but the only way I could do it is if the girl had her own place and I only go to hers and she never comes to mine and never meets my parents.
Anyway, I plan to do some stuff to feel better now.
