Some Kind of Journal - Random Thoughts

[Shawn]

Both the Magnus Engine and Fear Removal Module are SOPS (Self Optimizing Polymorphic Scripting).  They do adjust to you.  But the key here is, they don't back down just because something isn't fun.  You have something somewhere in there that scares the hell out of you, and this program is trying to get you past that hurdle.  The responses you describe are all based on fear and/or resistance.  The fact is, you have to run the program enough to get the benefit of the "make it as easy as possible" program in FRM.  Run too little, and it can't make it as easy as possible.  

You say you stonewalled ultrasonic, hybrid caused even more resistance, and masked causes these results.  What this tells me is that whatever the issue is, is from when you were very young.  It is something that you have based a LOT of your self and your beliefs on.  Changing it represents a very big deal for you, but if you are reacting this way, you will never achieve the true potential you have for being successful unless you do overcome that fear.

The feeling trapped in state is not going to be something that the program does, because the state shifting the program generates is always aimed at helping the program achieve it's goals.  How is it achieving it's goals if you can't sleep?  That strongly suggests subconscious self sabotage as an escape mechanism.

Out of the things you have described, I suggest to you that the ultrasonic format is the best one for you.  How have you tried to use that one?  How long, how many loops, etc.

I meant I stonewalled previous subs with US and sometimes hybrid after longer usage. This one I only tried with masked track because that's what I got most best results with in the past. I can try ultrasonic but I need to gains some energy back first, even if I don't believe US would do that much because in the past I didn't really get something out of US tracks. They just made me more awake (even with 3G/4G). The other idea I had was running USLM3 with the goal of identifying the problem behind that symptoms as v3 did work on my on low loops. In this case I could at least identify the problem and maybe even do something consciously to help to solve it.

I don't know what happened when I was young that might caused that, I had some thoughts but they don't necessary make sense. But a big part of my upbringing was fear based so I wouldn't be surprised if a part of my personality has fear as its foundation. And in this case removing fear would be almost like some way of suicide.

Howerver, thanks for your support.