Some Kind of Journal - Random Thoughts

[Shawn]

I decided to make a journal to post some random thougts and experiences. I might delete some of the stuff again, so please don't quote me, because I can only edit my own posts.

I didn't run DMSI 3.3 before because as I wanted to switch from USLM I got a serious problem with my shoulder and nothing seemed to help so I decided to run MHS, which finally helped noticeable. In the last 1 - 2 weeks I experienced a lot of fear, frustration and really bad sleep. The last time my sleep was that bad was on DMSI 3.2, which was also the reason why I stopped because I couldn't sleep and therefore couldn't recover anymore. But at least it's not about FRM but about something else inside. Maybe the high energy levels, maybe state shifting or something, I don't know. I was also very emotional at all. Another thing I noticed (in the last 2 days) that I was somehow electrically charged. I often got electric shocks when I tourched something. Today was also the first time I noticed some noticeable signs of attraction. We will see what will happen.

[Shawn]

The sub feels very smoth at all compared to all previous versions. In fact I feel more like listening to Develop an Zen Attitude than DMSI overall seen. Didn't notice that much attention from women even if 3 decided to stand close to me without an apparent reason, but they were old and not attractive. I noticed I am at times more horny but don't feel really sexual at all. I also noticed some negative self talk, like it would be better to let go all the sex stuff so I wouldn't have to deal with all that anymore. I also noticed some fears are coming more to the surface, even some which doesn't seem to have a connection to sex and women. What is negative is sleep. I am literally shifting from being asleep to being awake all the time at night. I am still feeling better than I would have normally do unter this circumstances but it still not really good. I think this is caused by the extended state shifting module, which should prevent overriding the optimum state, because this is something what has been added at 3.3 where people start noticing that. And I don't think it's about FRM because on USLM3 I didn't have that problem. So either that or the sub has become so powerful that is simply too much for some people. Either way, it would be good to disable the extention of the state shifting in the next iteration of DMSI (when a new FRM module comes out) to test it, or at least to model it if that is the reason why some people have this problem. I mean sleep is somehow the ultimate state shift. And good sleep is important because when you are tired all the time then you have not motivation and energy to do anything.

I somehow think that state shifting might also change the level of execution of the script. Let me explain. With 4G/5G there was no state shifting but when I listened to ultrasonic I often notice that I become more aware and awake, you could say it was some kind of state shift. I don't know the reason for but it happened. And ultrasonic was the format where I noticed the least amount of execution. So I asked myself, what if the optimum statet to interact with girls/have sex with them is not the same state like accepting and executing the input of the sub. Like best interaction with girls is at frequency X and optimum acceptance and execution on frequency Y (maybe even Y and Z). I wasn't sure if I should post this thought at all but after deciding to post I felt like I am executing more, lol, so it is either a weird coincidence or I am really on something here and the probability line changed.

Another thing that has come in my mind was the listening volume. I often listened AM6 with very low volumes and did pretty good at all, with later subs I increased the volume because everyone said it's better. But if louder volume is closer to the conscious mind and lower volumes are closer to the subconscious then lower volumes should be at least in theory better for people with a lot of conscious resistance, because in this case it will bypass more easily the conscious resistance. Maybe it is worth a try for some people.

Not much more to say now. Maybe one dream which seems significant. I was somewhere in the woods and then someone told me "You cannot stay here or you will die. You have to go into the house into room (I forgot the room number), and if you are in then you will die." I woke up after that and thought it somehow doesn't make sense, because in that dream I would have die anyway. So far.

[Shannon]

State shifting is not awakening you or adjusting your sleep. State shifting cannot override natural sleep wake cycles. That would leave you with a non-optimal state in which to achieve the goals of the program, due to sleep deprivation, which would be counter to the goal of the state shifting. Exhausted mind is not optimal state.

State shifting is designed to optimize your state of mind for resulting in execution, which is interacting with people you find sexually attractive in ways that result in achieving the goals of the program. They are one and the same, and it enhances and helps to allow execution. State shifting cannot do otherwise, and execution cannot be damaged by it.

What is disturbing your sleep is FRM doing it's thing, and triggering fear that you cannot consciously perceive. That means that the conscious is being prevented from perceiving it, but the sleep state is still being interrupted by the fear reaction regardless of the efforts I have made to prevent that. It means that one part of the FRM needs enhancement. Nothing more.

Volume requirements vary from personality type to personality type. For some, louder is better and for others, quieter is better. When you go too quiet, regardless, there is acceptance but not motivation to act, or act quickly enough. When you go too high, there is a feeling of being pressured too much, which results in rejection and refusal to act. Not everyone does better with higher volumes. Not everyone does better with lower volumes. Some volumes are too low to result in execution; some are too high. It also varies according to the person and personality type.

[Shawn]

Ok, I just mention some thoughts and ideas here.

[Shannon]

I know. But hopefully what I said helps. Unless you'd prefer I didn't post here?

[Shawn]

No, that's all fine. Thanks.

[Shawn]

Sleep was better last night, still not as it should be but the shifting between awake and sleep were not that often as the nights before. I got some pics of a girl yesterday which were interesting, but she lives far away. I still don't feel sexual at all, it is still more like the sexuality is shut down most of the time.

Before I started DMSI I had some women talking to me, and some were interested in having a relationship which I also considered. But now it seems like this part is falling a bit apart and I feel somehow depressed about that because it took me literally my whole life to come to this point and now it seems like it is disappearing slowly and I don't want it to happen.

[Shawn]

Sleep was again better last night, even better than the night before. Today I had a thought like: if women get aroused throught my DMSI aura then it is really rude and mean from me to not approach them and leave them alone with the problem I created. Looks like some kind of mindshift, but at this time too much fear left.

[Shannon]

And again... why would you approach them, when the goal of the program is to motivate them to approach you?

[Shawn]

I am aware of this. But it is still a shift in my usual thinking pattern, that's why I reported it.

[Shannon]

Ah, gotcha.

[Shawn]

I wasn't reporting for a while, so here the goods and the bads. I noticed less fear and more comfort at several situations while being outside. Usually I am more tight when I am around people but at these times I acted more naturally and more like me. It is probably still subtle for people around me but for me it was noticeable. Last week I also started to get more messages from some girls I know and first time in my life I got some nudes messaged. They were telling me how wet they get when they think about me and such stuff. One said very clearly that we could have some fun when I visit her next time. Unfortunately all of them live in a different country so I just can't simply come over. Which brings me to the bads.

These manifestations and such messages seem only to come from girls from Asia, from the girls here I don't get such messages. When it comes to the aura so it is much more subtle in this version than with every version before. Especially with 3.2, there it was like a supernova, extreme hard firering. But what I noticed is that girls tend to be more scared by me or they look annoyed with this version. It seem to have started with 3.2 to a small degree, but gets more noticeable with this version. Until 3.1 it didn't seem to be a problem. After thinking about it I don't think that's the aura effect itself, I think it has too do with my sexual energy. With this version I have almost no desire to fap. And while I don't care about all the nofap thing it leaves me with very high sexual energy levels and the energy feels very raw and extreme. And first I did think woman may react the way they do because they are afraid that they cannot control theirselves. But now I am starting to believe that they are afraid that I cannot control myself when they feel my extreme sexual energy. One girl I usually see at the bus stop seems really afraid. I don't want to go into details here but she is seeing me most likely as some kind of predator and not as a sexually attractive man.

At some points I seem also to be overwhelmed by this sub, like it is trying too much at once for me and I get stuck. Since USLM I am running all subs at my own number of loops because of the exhaustment which 3.2 gave me. So what I can say now is that 4 loops seem to be my personal limit for now. In the mid of the 4th loop I am starting to get this feeling like getting a panic attack. It's still under the surface and I seem to be calm superficially but I notice that there is the ultimate terror going on beyond the surface. What I can definitely say is that one loop is not enough and leaves me just with exhaustion. 2 and 3 loops are fine.

I may forgot something but it's late here and I am tired so I may add something tomorrow.

[Shawn]

Not that much to report. In the last time I often woke up too early and couldn't fall asleep anymore, so I was tired most of the time. But the sleep quality itself for the time I sleep still seems to be okay. I notice that the sub is trying to keep me in an awake state (during the day), but underneath I noticed on several days some kind of deep exhaustion. In regard to women nothing seem have changed. There are still women who seem to find my somehow creepy or something. Today in the train after sitting down I looked around and noticed a woman sitting on the other side. The moment I noticed her she immediately gave me a roll-eyes reaction and put also her jacket on and covered her breasts even if I didn't really had a chance to look at her before. It's not that every woman gives me such reactions but it seems to increase at the one side and on the other side I don't really notice much of positive reactions. I have been thinking about it why this happens and I come to the conclusion that it isn't even a typical reverse execution reaction, what really happens here is that some of my biggest fears are getting manifested here. Why do I think so? Well, one of the biggest fears in regard to DMSI I have and I am aware of is that I fear that women might see me as creepy if I show (sexual) interest towards a woman. And what happens here? Pretty much exact what I fear most. Similar was happening on USLM, especially v2, v1B and 3 with higher number of loops. Not in regard to women, but my biggest fear in regard to the goal of the sub in general is that every time I get lucky I have to pay for at some point (by having bad luck). And what happened? Exactly that. So I don't know if these fears maybe need some room to being expressed but if should be the case - and I am not sure that this is the case - it would be good if they could be expressed/made aware of in a less dramatic way without derailing what the sub is going to do. So far for now.

[Shawn]

Only a short post as I am on the phone. I stopped DMSI some time ago after the exhaustion underneath got worse as well as my sleep. The tension underneath lasted for over a week after stopping DMSI and every additional input, like from the sleeping aid sub caused more stress again. Just after.one week I started to feel some relaxation again here and there. I will write more when I am back, but what I noticed is that I need a much more gentle approach energy wise or I will be always running out of energy on half the way.