Shifting Gears (LTU 5.0)

[DavisMind91]

Switched the address with my ISP today, I owed them $100.00 for the services in June but after I triple checked my account, I guess the agent closed out the file from m previous address and now I owe absolutely nothing from the month of June, like I got a month of free internet.

I also found out that the lease at the place I'm moving from is up a few days earlier than expected, meaning I don't have to pay the last month's rent. I just found out in one day that I'll have an extra $800 to myself in July.

I also added a few coworkers on Facebook, one of them was the super shy girl I've mentioned before, just gonna refer to he as SS (super shy) going forward. Glanced over her profile for a couple minutes and liked what I saw. She doesn't seem to use FB much anymore though so she may not ever even see it but eventually I'll see her in person again anyways.

[DavisMind91]

I feel it, every single day, subtly, surely and quickly, my fear in general, as well as my anxiety and stress levels are shrinking. ME is working with a multitude of the programs in LTU to help me discover tools and techniques to assist with this, without me needing to use other mind programming methods.

As a result, I'm increasingly becoming more confident and bolder., happy and carefree and assertive. The gratitude programming is finally starting to show results. There are still plenty things that I want, but now I'm making a mental transition to truly appreciating the things I already have every day. I no longer feel the need to obtain my desires asap, the plans to get them are still there, but there's no negative sense of urgency there any longer, which I know will also sharpen my financial discipline.

LTU is going deeper, I wonder if these subs could go so deep that they effect the unconscious mind as well, and the programming becomes instinctual. @Shannon do you believe that's possible?

[DavisMind91]

* Couple noteworthy things happened. For one I didn’t play an ITM look today, lately my motivation and productivity has been high at work, despite all the distractions with women, but around 3 pm today my motivation and productivity took a sharp dive. I stopped being motivated or productive and didn’t even give a damn that I was dragging. I also almost fell asleep before I got out of the car while picking my daughter up from school. Now that I’m thinking about it, this is one of the two occasions the past two weeks where my motivation and energy dropped quickly and the only thing that brings it up is playing LTU.

* Don’t know if it was TID from UMS but my bank refunded me money out of nowhere for a reason I’ve never even seen before and I didn’t even ask them to do anything.

* I got home and didn’t feel like cooking, I was just about to start gathering ingredients when one of my best friends called and said he was in the area, and asked if I wanted something to eat, and brought me and my daughter food.

* At work, it’s becoming more apparent that women are intrigued by me, even when I don’t show interest, including SS. I’ve never seen women hold a crush for over a year lol. Speaking of SS I’ve simply stopped giving a damn, she’s way too weird and closed off around me but stares harder than anyone else from afar. The lack of confidence is off-putting to me, a shame since there could’ve been potential but oh well, I’ve got plenty other women to entertain me at work and outside of it too at this point.

[DavisMind91]

Woke up very energized. Today I was so happy that after dropping my daughter off to school I blasted one of my favorite songs ever on repeat while driving back home very fast, something I haven’t done since before she was born. Of course I was careful not to cause an accident, it’s just the feeling of driving that fast that brings me a type of joy I haven’t felt in a while. Productivity wise I haven’t been motivated to do much today. I prioritized my current list of desires and visualized myself having them. UMS is at the top of that list. Speaking of which, of sure if it’s TID or emotional healing and detox but at this moment, I keep thinking the word “money” and my heart is producing a warm and loving feeling, as if I’m already abundant, secure and supported.

[DavisMind91]

I'm at a crossroads, starting this Sunday, my intention was to run LTU for 3 weeks straight at a 7:0 ASRB. For the past couple days though I've felt drained, yesterday I couldn't seem to even push myself to do anything unless I was playing ITM loops. The motivation was there, but the energy wasn't. I may have to go back to 4:2 or find a way to keep my energy up, without the use of caffeine. Probably gonna have to improve my diet and sleep routine if I'm gonna make it out ok with a run that intense.

[DavisMind91]

Feels like all my anxiety issues have disappeared, or at least 99% gone in general.

I'm being propositioned for a relationship, don't wanna just jump into one without having a goal in mind for both me and this woman (as far as actually building a life together). I refuse to be in another directionless relationship that's only about love, affection, dates, etc and all that other childish s**t. Told the woman to give me 5 days to think it all over. If I'm gonna let someone in I at least need to be sure that she's worth it in the long run.

[DavisMind91]

- Sat the woman down and had a heart-to-heart talk, not gonna work out long-term, her goals are too mundane and simple for my taste. A few years ago I may have been like the average guy and just have got into a relationship because the woman was able to make me feel good, but no thanks to that these days.

- I'm truly starting to notice how miserable ppl are around me in general, to the point where sometimes I become repulsed by the company of others.

- Right now I feel like a have a proverbial hole in my chest, I feel empty inside, probably the work of E3 and UD hitting a subconscious nerve.

- I've decided that since I've been missing the AM6 program so much, I'm ending my LTU run around the end of September, doing a stage 7 refresher of AM in October, and quite possibly running UMS until the end of 2021; to help once and for all, eliminate my money issues and change my inner relationship with it.

[DavisMind91]

It’s done, I can tell that my social anxiety has been completely obliterated. I have no problem looking strangers in the eye and even starting random conversations when I’m in the mood to talk. I also have no reserves about asking for what I want and need.

Also when I drive, there no more anxiety either, although I’ve found myself the past week having to use my brain, the lack of fear has turned me back into a bit of a reckless driver, unless of course my daughter is in the car with me.

My sex life has become so regular that I’ve been having sex almost daily. Looks like for me the improve my love life module turned part of the sub into a sex life tune up.

My fears around money have decreased considerably as well, not only that but thanks to my planning, my income should be getting a good boost fairly soon.

Glad to say that UMOP did what it was supposed to. Procrastination is no longer even in my personal vocabulary.

Every time I’ve run Ltu for the past couple days, I have a feeling of serenity mixed with euphoria was over me.

[DavisMind91]

I carried around a very powerful sense of outcome independence today, which I know for a fact showed up in my speech patterns and body language too.

[DavisMind91]

Started the morning dry joyful and motivated. After 3 hours of being awake I was in a foul and pissed off mood. An hour later, even while running 2 ITM loops, I became mildly depressed. Around 1 pm I was back to a good mood. It’s been years since I’ve had a day where I was in such an emotional roller coaster. Not sure what happened but I don’t too much like that feeling. Maybe E3 hit another nerve, and gradually dissolved the underlying negative emotions.

I’ve pretty much figured out that a woman that I’m talking to tries using me for attention when she gets bored. I have more self worth than to be a source of entertainment without being paid for it, and I’m way too busy for that these days anyway. As far as I’m concerned we no longer speak from this day forward.

[DavisMind91]

My use of ASBR 7:0 for the third week in a row is almost over. Glad because my life for the past 3 weeks has been extremely demanding and shows no signs of slowing down until at least December. Think I'll be switching back to 4:2 after this Saturday. The energy drain is starting to become more prevalent.

[DavisMind91]

Had my first day off in 3 weeks. Had to move from an apartment into a townhouse. I woke up at 5 am, bought necessary supplies and materials needed to finish the move, packed up and cleaned the old place. Got to the new place and not only did I unload everything but I actually unpacked and got organized. Despite my physical exhaustion I simply kept going all day long, non-stop. I was even in a good mood the whole time. After resting from that for about 20 minutes, I groomed myself, showered and washed my hair and moisturized my skin (full hygienic treatment and shaving), brushed my teeth etc. Layed down to sleep after going strong for 16 hours straight. Couldn’t sleep though, so I got up after 90 minutes and studied my ass off. In total I pretty much spent 19 hours awake and being productive. Amazing the energy I had to spare, probably because I hadn’t run any loops yesterday. Let’s see what today brings.

[DavisMind91]

Not sure if it’s TID from AM6 (if that can even be experienced with 5G subs), but it feels like my inner alpha is being nurtured, the closer I come to doing the refresher stage. Still running LTU of course, if I’m starting to notice that I’m joking less, withdrawing more and focusing on improving myself in as many ways as possible. It just hit me today that I’ve lost interest in women, even the ones I was talking to (or more). Feeling like I don’t want to be bothered with them except to socialize with for the sake of keeping my social skills sharp; but of course, I’d still put a certain limit to that too.

I feel like I’m starting to become slightly arrogant and also putting myself on a pedestal. I notice that I still treat others well, but I’m not going out of my way to treat others quite as nicely as I was. Even towards the beginning of my journey with LTU, I was no one’s doormat but now it seems I’m prioritizing myself in every way possible. Maybe this isn’t arrogance, maybe it’s just me finally realizing the importance of loving myself.

One thing I will say though is that although I’m starting to feel like I’m growing a bit colder towards people, my charisma still seems to be rising. Jokes have gone from me being a “player” at work to being a “cult leader” and people wanting to be included in the group. This is weird as hell, and I’m not sure if the cause happens to be some type of energy I’m projecting, but it caught me off guard.

Another thing to note is that all day, my voice has sounded deeper and smoother than normal. I also was more succinct with my speech and got straight to the point. Right now I’m pretty much in a IDGAF mood, simply unbothered by anything occurring around me and within me.

[DavisMind91]

Woke up super tired. On my way to drop my Daughter off to school there was a big traffic jam that I was stuck in for a good 30 minutes. Although I was annoyed, I didn't flip out and become fuming mad like I would have in the past. Once I got to work (late), I noticed that I was in a horrible mood, but it was because of my fatigue. I usually greet most people there but I spoke to absolutely no one for the first 90 minutes.

A few people here and there pointed it out in a comical way, and my Manager even offered to listen to why my mood was so foul. My mood didn't improve until I had a cup and a half of coffee. While I was angry though, I channeled the anger into focus and was highly productive. That's become the norm since I've been on LTU. My 18-19 hour days are really starting to wear on me, and of course I'm even more drained when on LTU.

I'm also staring to notice that I'm growing subconsciously bored of LTU and I'm entertaining thoughts of ending my run a few weeks early. I'm not going to; because hell, I've come extremely far with this sub, and even if it's work is done, I at least know that continuing until September will only deepen, extend, and reinforce the results I've already attained. Still notice that although I'm putting in some effort to still socialize, I can feel myself still growing colder. Not sure what the cause is, kind of don't even care, as long as it doesn't negatively effect me long-term.

Had an epiphany yesterday that every time I've fallen in love with a woman, I've allowed myself to put the woman on a pedestal without even realizing it. Of course; because I stopped putting myself first, I lost focus after a certain amount of time and lost my "edge" and ambition in life, which in turn, probably is what caused these women to become complacent and bored. Kind of makes sense now on to why some of them either cheated or simply told me they were no longer happy. This realization has led me to the decision to not allow myself to "fall in love" ever again. I don't mind providing, protecting, and showing love to a woman if I actually care for her, but the days of placing anyone at all before myself are over with. people come and go after all, just a fact of life.

Also, if all a woman offers is sex and good looks, without being willing to help enhance and elevate my life, she's out the door quicker than she came. May take some work but I probably won't even allow myself to have sex with her unless I can see her being around long-term. For me, sex deepens my attachment to a woman, not that I become a stalker, but of course knowing that we're sexually active would increase the chances of me keeping a woman in my circle. But, now that I've matured, sharing an hour or so of pleasure is no longer a valid reason for me associating with a woman. it's a nice addition, but I refuse to let it be the reason why a woman that doesn't add value to my life to stick around. It would have to be a win-win situation where we can help elevate one another.