Shifting Gears (LTU 5.0)

[DavisMind91]

Cycle 6, Day 6:

Partied last night and only got 5 hours of sleep, but was still able to do a full 7 hour run of LTU5. Gotta say that I didn’t wake up feeling groggy like I thought I would. I wonder if the biggest portion of the work for my detoxing, emotional healing and fear removal has already been done. The past couple weeks I’ve been waking up even less tired than when I’d do AM6 or BASE. Never thought a 5.5G would feel so easy to use.

In any case, This first week of running the sub 6 days straight didn’t seem to turn out too bad energy wise. I’m also noticing that I get angry much less often, and stay angry for much shorter durations than what I used to. I’ve even developed the habit of transforming anger into motivation. Now that I think of it I actually snap less at my Daughter too and show her more compassion. She just turned 4 recently and really is growing fast. I’m glad for her sake and mine that LTU is doing the work on me that I feel will be necessary to make me a better man and father, and assist me with establishing a healthy parent/child relationship with her.

Right now I feel LTU is clearing out all the garbage and making everything spotless so that during my 2nd 3-month run, I’ll actually be able to replace the negativity and have room for the positive instructions and habits be instilled and supported..

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Taking care of one's own emotional health is such an important thing to do as a parent. I'm glad to see you're getting the help to do that while you're daughter's still at an early age!

[DavisMind91]

Thank you @EvolvingPhoenix I’m definitely glad too.

Cycle 7, Day 2:

Had a dream which addressed minor anxieties and fears. The ones that brought these up in my dreams were my daughter and ex wife. Hardly remember the exact events of the dream but I remember the theme. Upon contemplation I realized there’s more work to be done on the subconscious fear itself. At least I’m the least fearful person I know, and I feel like my general fears will be slight or non-existent after my next 3-month run of LTU 5.

[DavisMind91]

Cycle 7, Day 5:

Ultra detox must be digging deeper on the mental and emotional level. I find myself wanting to explore, and even master certain concepts and skills that may seem taboo to society. Now ironically, this is actually to help sharpen my masculinity. I'm certain this is a collaborative effort between LTU5 and AM6 programming in my subconscious to help take me further in that direction, and improve my overall masculinity even further so I in turn, improve my life even more.

[DavisMind91]

Cycle 7, Day 6:

Hmm, after 2 weeks of doing asbr 6:1 I have to say that although it did make a difference in my energy levels, it wasn't very significant and after being up and about for 30 minutes I typically feel normal. I may stick with this just a bit longer.

[DavisMind91]

I’m actually taking the day off for Ltu but still experienced something highly profound. It didn’t hit me until after I woke up this morning that I had abandonment issues. That epiphany helped me realize why I seemed to have such a tough time forming and maintaining social connections and romantic relationships. I began to explore my own mind through meditation in order to discover the source of this issue.

I was lead back to my childhood 20 years ago when I had a powerful attachment to my Mother. I remembered vividly two things. One, how when she was late picking me up from school, I would become frightened because I thought either something bad had happened to her, or she simply didn’t love me anymore and decided to abandon me. She would usually be there within an hour because she got held up by something but my own childish mind sent me into a frenzy and I would simply stand right in front of the school crying. It didn’t help that the second thing I remembered is that a couple of times, my Mother actually played a prank on me and told me she was leaving me all alone in the house and never coming back. She would then proceed to walk out the door and lock it behind her. I would get so upset that I’d forget to unlock the door. I’d instead feel afraid and alone and angry. After listening to my cry by the door for a couple minutes she’d come back in the house saying it was just a joke but I’d still be angry at her for a couple hours after that.

I hadn’t even remembered any of this until today. My meditation then revealed to me the reason I may have seems to constantly have people all of a sudden up and leave me, rather it was a friend, girlfriend, etc. was because I’d formed this belief and fear that people would abandon me eventually anyway. Sure enough, I experienced that more as I grew older. In my teen years, I bothered absolutely none to be close to anyone at all and became emotionally and mentally the coldest and hardest I’ve been to date. I eventually did grow tired of being negative and broke out of that cycle around 18 years old. But from time to time I’d still experience remnants of that experience.

Now, thing is I’d never made this connection before today and held no blame or resentment towards my Mom because I didn’t remember any of this, but even remembering it, I forgave my mom because she had no idea how a simple prank, or just being late because she had to handle some business effected me. I accepted that she was completely unaware. In recent years I’ve just realized that there are multiple reasons why people come and go and so even though I had become indifferent, I had no idea that my indifference was a defense mechanism built up against my underlying abandonment issues.

During the meditation, I visualized myself going back in time and wrapping my arm around that frightened younger me, and telling him that it’s ok. I explained that mom is just a little late, but she’ll be there for him, she loves him and there are others who still love him. I let him know that he’s not alone and he’s not powerless. If he ever ran into a problem that triggered fear, there would always be a way to find a solution. He and I then traveled to the main time that I remember being locked in the house and instead of letting him get upset, I encouraged the younger me to stay strong, and aware of what was happening. He looked up and smiled back at me, asked me who I was, so I told him that I’m his future self, he thanked me. I was then Snapped back to the present and felt a sense of joy and freedom, knowing that today, I just hit a huge emotional healing milestone.

Because the source of my a abandonment issues has been healed, there wasn’t even a need to revisit any other events related to them. Even now as I’m writing this, my eyes are slightly watering, I know this is just me subconsciously releasing the last of the fear. I can now move forward in life without fear of showing love or receiving it because I know that even if things go astray, I have enough self love to get myself through anything. Feels like the E3 component really is the star of the show today. This may also be UD and USLM4 helping and assisting as well. Either way LTU5 has delivered another huge breakthrough for me.

[Shannon]

Bravo! Excellent work!

[DavisMind91]

Bravo!  Excellent work!

Thank you, it’s not like I doubted your claim on the Ltu sales page about the E3 component in regards to it healing things you can’t even remember but this definitely just verified it for me. This sub is a true blessing.

[DavisMind91]

The past few days I've been listening to an immense amount of R&B music, basically it's all I listen to now. I wonder if somehow this is a habit I'm building as a result of the improve your love life module. Also, Women at my job who I thought lost interest in me are all of a sudden showing IOI's again.

[DavisMind91]

pretty much just gonna stop counting days and cycles on this journal at this point. Had some amazing sex last night, took me a few weeks to see it but I really have improved in that department. Women everywhere I go are giving me a look like they're ready for me to take them too. I'm actually becoming more open by the day, with the idea of establishing a personal harem.

In other news, ideas on how to start a business and earn more income in general are firing off in my brain at the speed of light. Gonna begin taking steps to implement these ideas as soon as I'm home.

[DavisMind91]

Got disrespected by my ex-wife this morning. Part of me wanted to hold my tongue but the programming from LTU wouldn’t let me. Once I brought it up, my ex wife had a look come across her face like she knew she had messed up. She apologized multiple times, and even tried to get physically affectionate and kept stating she didn’t mean the statement how it sounded, but there was no way in hell I was gonna let her talk to me crazy and think she could fix it with just an apology, some hugs and kisses. This is all after a conversation we had last night about a different subject in which she asked me to express how I felt but then tried to rationalize my feelings away. I’m sure Ltu has wisdom enhancement in it since the Ltu 3.0 script is in here too, which helped me see that maybe this woman is not the type that actually cares about the feelings of others, she just rather people not see her in a bad light.

As I kept trying to leave she was attempting to restrain me and kept apologizing. I simply told her I have too much to do today. She then proceeded to ask if I’d come and be with her tonight, to which I again replied that I’ve got too much on my plate. She then offered to come get our daughter later but I know that’s just a plot to try and get around me which I don’t care. Part of me has to wonder though why she even carries on that way towards me, since I know she’s dating at least one dude, which doesn’t exactly do well for my perspective on the modern woman but that’s a conversation for another day.

In any case it would seem as if the instructions for self-love, respect, worth, etc has been ingrained to me from Ltu and of course AM6, with wisdom enhancement helping out too.

[Benjamin]

Very good. Yes it does contain what was in LTU 3.0, so that's in there.

[DavisMind91]

Very good. Yes it does contain what was in LTU 3.0, so that's in there.

Glad to hear it, there's some great material in there.

[DavisMind91]

Wanted to journal these experiences before I forgot, there may be more updates today. So leaving off from yesterday, I attended a dinner my Mother was hosting, because a Cousin I've never met came into town with his Fiancé and Son. Everything was pretty great, except for the fact that my Cousin's Fiancé kept giving me IOI's in front of everyone. I tried to play it off and even acted slightly more reserved than usual, after all, this is my Cousin's Fiancé and I've never even met the Man so I'd hate for his first memory of me to be flirting with his Woman. The most obvious IOI is she kept looking directly at me and staring 85% of the time she spoke and 99% of the time that she would laugh in order to make sure she had my attention...damn it lol. Won't lie about the fact I found her attractive too but no way I'd let myself act on it.

Eventually we all talked about what we do for a living, I mentioned my job but also that I'm looking to get into web development in the short-term. She was quick to mention that she works from home, managing a digital product project and started giving me pointers on how to network in the tech industry. She then asked for my Facebook and instantly added me so I could keep in touch in case I had "questions", which I'm thankful for but I know I'm gonna have to tread this one carefully. Once we left for the night, she was sure to turn to me, TWICE, and told me to be sure to keep in touch. Oh boy.

A couple hours later, after I got home, my ex wife called and apologized for her earlier disrespect again. I told her not to let it happen again and the apology was accepted. She then proceeded to keep talking in order to keep me on the phone, but the more I insisted on getting some rest for the night, the more she would find something else to talk about. She then proceeded to tease sexually since we were on FaceTime using IPhones and told me she was horny, and how great the sex has been between us lately. Once again, I thought to myself that maybe she's using both me and the dude she seems to have a crush on (dating) as "options"; whatever, in any case I finally went to bed.

Woke up this morning and used LTU "as needed" for the first time before work which kept my mood high. Everyone at the job seems friendlier than usual, and some people who I don't even speak to greeted me. One female coworker in particular who seems to act super shy when I'm around came into the break room to clock in. I was staring at the open doorway but as soon as she walked in, she locked eyes with me while I was on the phone with my Doctor's office. I actually stared her down and what happened next shocked me, my eyes started to scan her body, slowly and locked on to her vagina, all while she was still staring at me. Not only that, she actually slowed down the pace at which she walked, as if she wanted me to have time to take it all in. Can't believe I did that dumb s**t at work, she could've easily reported me for sexual harassment. FRM must be working better than I thought. Gonna have to be more conscious about how I speak and act going forward.