Shannon's BAMM 2.0 Journal

[Shannon]

In order to make it easier to find my experiences, I am starting a journal here for this purpose specifically.

This journal is not for asking me questions about anything unless it directly relates to BAMM 2.0 or something I wrote about it. I will not be answering any such questions here. Please don't turn this thread into an "ask Shannon questions" thread.

I am currently almost finished with Stage 3. Stage 1 was an awakening of sorts... Stage 2 was very inspirational for me. Stage 3 has been a serious challenge, as something in this stage apparently scares me to act on at some level. This month has been a month of slow, steady fear destruction, and I am still moving forward, but until the fear destruction gets to where it needs to be, I am finding it challenging to be as productive as I would like to be. There are things I very much want to do, which I find myself resisting out of what I have identified finally as fear.

There is no sitting still on BAMM 2.0, so yes, I am still moving forward, but the movement is slow. I am a little frustrated by this, because part of me wants to run, and another part of me is digging in it's heels and fighting progress at all costs. It is as if there is an irresistible force causing me to move forward at a slow, steady rate regardless, and even without effort somehow... not pulling me, not pushing me... but as if I am being magnetically drawn to the destination, and it is me who is what is being drawn to that destination. Slowly, steadily, irresistibly. Fight tooth and nail if you like. Let your feet dig deep furrows as you come, but you are going to come, and there will be no other outcome.

At once I love this and hate it. The part of me that wants to run is deeply grateful for this progress, even though it is slow... perhaps a foot per second, compared to running. But the other part of me hates the fact that no amount of refusal, resistance, rejection, argument, fighting will change this minimum rate of inevitable progress.

I am impatient because I want to run again, but in seeing the inevitable progress so easily and naturally overcoming all my subconscious efforts to resist and not move forward, I am given heart and with it I find patience. Certainty in knowing that no matter what, I will get to where I am going, as long as I do not stop using the program.

I had a couple things happen a few days ago that I believe were an attempt at getting me to do just that. The first was that I managed to move the program and the player was unable to locate it, but I did not pay attention to the errors when it tried for a day or so. The second was an overwhelming urge a few days later to find myself a wife... and it crossed my mind a few times that to do so, I would have to stop using BAMM.

But I recognized what these were. I fixed the playlist's links to the program's new location, and then I adamantly refused to stop using BAMM. The fact that these attempts at escape are being played out tell me that my subconscious, perhaps the inner child, maybe the "stubborn bull" within me - whatever it is - knows now, that while this program plays, there is no escaping it. No denying it. No stopping it. Success is inevitable. The only option, then, is to trick me into stopping its use.

And because I now know that is what it is doing, it will always fail when it tries. I will continue using this program, until I am a multi-millionaire, just as I expect every one of the people using it to do. There is no other choice. That is what will be. That is the path.

I am looking forward to Stage 4. Partly because I am hoping I will be more productive on Stage 4. Partly because the part of me that is fighting progress wants some escape, any escape, from whatever it is trying to resist. Even if it's just temporary.

Whatever the case, I am looking forward to the change. This stage has been challenging, and I am ready for whatever comes next. No doubt there will be other challenging stages, but that's okay. I designed the program with the knowledge that such would be the case, and I designed it so that points of resistance are approached in a staggered fashion: work on the issue, take a break; work on the issue, take a break. Repeat until success is achieved. But stages 3, 4 and 5 are very heavy duty, so I may be in for another stage or two of this battle, depending on what exactly I am resisting. I wish I knew exactly.

Fear/Guilt/Shame destruction in every stage is definitely changing my life. There is yet further to go, but it is a very good thing. I wish there were more hours in a day to use this program.

I can clearly feel a day coming to me when, if I choose to, I can buy myself a pair of $500 dress shows without a second thought, and then put $1,500 worth of tires on my Lamborghini, again without a second thought. It feels amazing to allow myself to enjoy the way that feels... stepping out of a Lamborghini in an ultra-sharp tailored suit and shoes that match the wow factor of the car and the suit. I wish I could achieve that all before my 20th anniversary highschool reunion in June, but... I think it may take a little bit longer than that.

Fun to imagine myself showing up in that car, dressed like that, though, wearing a watch worth more than my first car cost me. And the day will come when I can afford to do such things, whether I choose to actually do so or not. It is a wonderful feeling to enjoy the "rays of light" from exploring that reality. It's coming. I can feel it growing more and more real every day.

[THolt]

Wow. That is a lot of resistance. Stage 2 has been soothing and its only been 1 day since starting. The EIP is kicking it seems.

[AwesomeYoungDude]

The second was an overwhelming urge a few days later to find myself a wife... and it crossed my mind a few times that to do so, I would have to stop using BAMM.

Shannon can you elaborate on why BAMM is mutually exclusive with your finding a wife. Is this because you can only use one sub at a time?

Will the priority and importance of family relations become a source of resistance during my BAMM journey?

BAMM is safe to play around others, if you want them to be affected.

I would suggest that given the content of the program and the manner in which it is designed to affect listeners, children under the age of 18 would require some careful and skilled parenting to keep in check if they were being exposed. It is designed for persons 18+.

Please elaborate on the "keep in check" reference above. What behaviors will BAMM instill that will be of concern?

[Andrew]

Excited to see you make a new journal here Now if only AwesomeYoungDude would make one...

[Shannon]

The second was an overwhelming urge a few days later to find myself a wife... and it crossed my mind a few times that to do so, I would have to stop using BAMM.

Shannon can you elaborate on why BAMM is mutually exclusive with your finding a wife. Is this because you can only use one sub at a time?

Will the priority and importance of family relations become a source of resistance during my BAMM journey?

It's because of that and a lot of other factors I'd rather not spend pages explaining. Suffice it to say that right now in my life, the only thing I can reasonably do is try to increase my wealth and move to a place where the women are a better fit for me.

What I am experiencing is not what everyone else will experience. I have my particular issues, and you have yours. So don't think Stage 3 is going to be this monstrosity that tears you to shreds. You might love it. For me, with my particular issues, it has been challenging to say the least. But there have been several good things to come out of it, also.

I am only focusing on finding a wife because the emotional half of me is afraid that if we (it and my intellectual self) focus on wealth exclusively, we'll be alone. What it doesn't get is... that wouldn't change anything. The women and general mindset here are not a match for me, and it has proven all but hopeless to do anything but try to move away. Which is part of why I am building wealth. So my responses may or may not have any bearing on yours. You have a wife and a family. You can reasonably say that they could be motivational for you.

BAMM is safe to play around others, if you want them to be affected.

I would suggest that given the content of the program and the manner in which it is designed to affect listeners, children under the age of 18 would require some careful and skilled parenting to keep in check if they were being exposed. It is designed for persons 18+.

Please elaborate on the "keep in check" reference above. What behaviors will BAMM instill that will be of concern?

BAMM will tell your kids they can do anything, be anything, and will do whatever they have to do to achieve their goals and succeed. That can be a good thing... depending on the goals.

[Yuri]

I know this is the wrong section and the wrong time too probably but for some reason I cant create new threads I cant even edit my posts anyway.

I was wondering there is an alcohol BWE can we get a marijuana BWE too? I would instantly buy that.

[Shannon]

This journal is not for asking me questions about anything unless it directly relates to BAMM 2.0 or something I wrote about it. I will not be answering any such questions here. Please don't turn this thread into an "ask Shannon questions" thread.

[Yuri]

I know and I apologize for that but like I said there is something wrong with my account that's why I posted it here I cant make threads anymore so I was not able to post this on the suggestions so not really sure where to post it anymore anyway you can delete it because again I cant.

[Shannon]

I know and I apologize for that but like I said there is something wrong with my account that's why I posted it here I cant make threads anymore so I was not able to post this on the suggestions so not really sure where to post it anymore anyway you can delete it because again I cant.

You need to consult a mod for that. Not go against the expressly specified wishes of the thread starter. Talk with a mod and then we'll deal with it in the appropriate place.

[Andrew]

BTW, I have a special sub-class of member on the forum for BAMM users. If the need arises, I can make it so only they can respond to your thread. Let me know if it becomes an issue.

[Shannon]

I am seeing myself go through some deep internal shifts which I believe are the cause of the challenges I have faced this month. These shifts are obviously necessary to achieve my goals. The fact that these shifts are not entirely enjoyable is one of the reasons we have been so careful screening those who were accepted to use this program: it is important that when the going gets tough, that the program is not abandoned.

Not everyone will have this sort of challenge, but I'd be willing to bet that for most people one or more stages will be hard to go through. These changes are challenging, but they're also good for you, as long as you refuse to give up. Sometimes I have had to resort this last month to blindly refusing to give up, knowing that in spite of it all, just holding on regardless would see me through. Sometimes the moment becomes so enveloping it's hard to see the big picture.

I realized this morning that part of the reason I have been having such an issue with depression the last few days stems from the fact that I have a tooth needing to be repaired, and the dentist is booked a month in advance. So chewing on that side is painful, and as a result, I have unwittingly started eating more simple carbs because softer (less painful) foods are often simple carbs. Eating steal invariably gets meat caught under the tooth and this presses on the gum in a painful way. I can't carry my water pik around with me, so if I eat meat I end up having painful gums until I can get back home. Not pleasant.

Today I focused on eating more protein and balanced it with complex carbs and I feel much better.

I also did something today that I suspect is BAMM in action. After breakfast, I wandered the plaza, exploring. I have never done that before. I discovered a discount store in which I found a lot of nice clothes that I liked, at about 20% of the price they'd have been selling in a retain shop or at the mall. Nice. Now I am set for nice casual clothes for a long time.

BAMM seems to be pushing me to socialize, learn and discover new things. I am really enjoying that aspect of it.

I also seem to be seeking out and purchasing important things, quality things that will be important but need only be purchased once if I get good quality. I seem to be building an arsenal of some sort, but I don't yet fully know what for exactly. This must be the Optimus Engine at work. I suspect it might be building me up so that I can almost entirely stop spending money when I am done. As if to say, "These are the things we need to be set for purchases for a long time, and once we're done getting this, we can save all that money instead."

[ncbeareatingman]

I've had one night,where it was a very very long dark night of the soul...the rest while using BAMM,have been challenging in other ways,such needing to improve my own self discipline as in getting my ass outt bed in the morning and going to work or outta bed at 6 to get ready for work at my other night job two nights a week.Once the guilt fear and shame levels come off,then the REAL
discipline to ge things done that are nessasary like a roof over my head food on the table,transprtation,ect all hav eto be handeled. Other than that over all BAMM is really doing wonders for me under the surface and in my socializing here and there,more powerfully expressed as a person.
something else Im noticing is that the freinds I once held in near dear esteem ,two in particular, tha tits time to let the distance between us continue and allow the drifting apart process to continue. I Jus tdont have time nor interest for those that choose or refuse to invest in my life,like picking up the phone and calling me for a change or chekcing in with me about MY Life and related.
over it. If you dont have time for me I damn shure dont have time for you,PERIOD! I was this way before but even more so,now, since I've been on BAMM. I Knew it was gonna be about letting go of people,places and things at some point while using BAMM,its talks about it in the description of Goals IN BAMM. ONe) it makes me react with G' damn it I've gotta be more self reliant,who needs these people who really arent there for me,the way I Need it when I need it,over all ,ect and #2) I've gotta establish newer,better connections in time I Believe the OE in BAMM will 'get me there'.
Lastly for now.... it appears that I will be relocating sooner than I thot, via " Hapenstance"( yeah right!:-) I'd had a Amtrak Ticket on reserve hold for 6 weeks now,just in case, gotta good deal with the help of friend that works at the train service,if the 'right' roommate doesn't show up here in the next two weeks,IM outta here, April 31st or the Morning of the 1st. of May. It Very well May be that BAMM is moving me onward to MY Highest and Best Good,for down the road...'getting me' to where I Need to be, to further these Goals. We'll See,what happens it all dependings on how things go here in the next 2 1/2 weeks or less. Keith.

[Shannon]

I'm surprised it happened so fast for you that you were able to start letting go of people. I see BAMM is really working well for you in the fears department. Very nice. I have actually started pushing and listening to more hours per day to help me get through this, because I have noticed that the more time I spend using it, the more "flowed" I seem to become.

I can sense a transformation taking place, the majority of which is not yet finished, and it will be as if some of me falls away and what is left is freed to fly. But the program is absolutely life changing, and that became ridiculously apparent almost from day one.

I have a good sense of what's coming. I am starting to get ideas, which turn into imaginings, which repeat themselves and after a certain amount of repetitions, I realize... this is something that's going to happen to/for me. Like lately I have been "seeing" myself enjoying having an in-ground pool in my back yard, and having friends over and cookouts... well right now there's trees where the pool would have to be. I went out into the back yard and actually wandered around and allowed this image of how it will look to play in my mind as I did. Those trees are definitely going to come out if this pool does happen... and I think it'll take a couple years, but I think this pool is really going to happen. I can feel that probability growing more and more solid. If/when I sell this house, it'll be worth a lot more than it is now, because I'll have renovated the house and yard and made my house the envy of everyone on the block with how sharp it looks.

I can't always feel how I'll get from here to point B, but I know Point B is coming. And it feels good to know, because it allows me to relax in a sense. Or maybe that's just the fear destruction at work. Just keep going, and it'll happen.

[Sean]

I see what your saying, and use the following metaphor.

If you were to begin intense physical training which covered many things, each person would have difficulty with different aspects. For some, it would be pull ups. For others, running. Yet others will have trouble with weightlifting.

Each of us has a different set of strengths and weaknesses, whether physically, consciously, or subconsciously. Shannon may have difficulty with pullups (stage 3) and you'll be a pullup beast.