Got a phone call from a long time friend today (the 21st, I guess now yesterday) about how his girlfriend left him for someone else. I sensed he needed some support, so when I had a chance, I got back to him and hung out with him. They don't make 'em much more stubborn than he is... so convinced that he's absolutely right, that the world is such a terrible place, that everything's going to fail, and so completely blind to the very things (arrogance and being misguided) that he assigns to me. While I am being more humble than he's seen me since he met me 12 years back, mind you.
And if only he could see that all he has to do is let go of his insistence that everything must be the way he insists it is. He's miserable, moreso by the day, and he's lecturing me on how everything is so terrible, and no matter what, I'm going to fail, and blah blah blah... and every time I try to offer advice he tells me to basically shove it.
So I shut my mouth and let him vent, commenting in my head about how amusing it is that he's the one suffering, but he's telling me how to make myself happy and successful when - wonder of wonders - I am happier and more successful than he's ever been. If only he would listen. But hey. You can lead a horse to water, as they say. I just wonder how much more he's going to put himself through before he breaks and starts to get it.
I post this here because despite his hours-long barrage of arrogance and unbelievable negativity and sermon on how terrible life is and how I'm only a delusional fool for thinking I could possibly ever succeed, it really didn't affect me much. I just recognized that he was going to believe this drivel until he finally put himself in so much pain that he had no choice but to change his mind, and let go. There were some times when he had me getting a little miffed, but I recognized that as ego and put it down.
Seriously ironic that he spent a good long time lecturing me about my ego, though, and was being so arrogant and egotistical while he did it that I almost had to laugh at him. Yes, it takes one to know one, but the difference is that I can "know one" by looking back from what I used to be, not what I am now.
I don't think he gets it that I don't hang out with him more than I do because he is so negative. I'm a loyal friend and Ill be there for my long term friends when they need me, but negativity is painful to be around at this point.
I'm really looking forward to the day he finally realizes that his own insistence on negativity is what's making his life so miserable.
BAMM has really helped me in these things. I no longer need anyone else's validation, acknowledgement, understanding, belief or consent to know that I am going to achieve my goals.
And if only he could see that all he has to do is let go of his insistence that everything must be the way he insists it is. He's miserable, moreso by the day, and he's lecturing me on how everything is so terrible, and no matter what, I'm going to fail, and blah blah blah... and every time I try to offer advice he tells me to basically shove it.
So I shut my mouth and let him vent, commenting in my head about how amusing it is that he's the one suffering, but he's telling me how to make myself happy and successful when - wonder of wonders - I am happier and more successful than he's ever been. If only he would listen. But hey. You can lead a horse to water, as they say. I just wonder how much more he's going to put himself through before he breaks and starts to get it.
I post this here because despite his hours-long barrage of arrogance and unbelievable negativity and sermon on how terrible life is and how I'm only a delusional fool for thinking I could possibly ever succeed, it really didn't affect me much. I just recognized that he was going to believe this drivel until he finally put himself in so much pain that he had no choice but to change his mind, and let go. There were some times when he had me getting a little miffed, but I recognized that as ego and put it down.
Seriously ironic that he spent a good long time lecturing me about my ego, though, and was being so arrogant and egotistical while he did it that I almost had to laugh at him. Yes, it takes one to know one, but the difference is that I can "know one" by looking back from what I used to be, not what I am now.
I don't think he gets it that I don't hang out with him more than I do because he is so negative. I'm a loyal friend and Ill be there for my long term friends when they need me, but negativity is painful to be around at this point.
I'm really looking forward to the day he finally realizes that his own insistence on negativity is what's making his life so miserable.
BAMM has really helped me in these things. I no longer need anyone else's validation, acknowledgement, understanding, belief or consent to know that I am going to achieve my goals.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
