05-13-2013, 06:35 PM
BAMM is changing me. As I become more and more free of guilt, shame and mostly fear, I find myself reacting to my own desires and life in general differently. For one, I am starting to take charge more and do what it takes to achieve what I want. The most dramatic way this is showing up in my life is in how I deal with women now. I used to be avoidant about asking women out, I think because I didn't know how to go about it very well. Now, if I'm interested and she passes muster after some observation, I'll just ask if she's single, and if she is, just tell her I think we should go out. It's no big deal to me anymore. I genuinely don't care if she accepts or declines, but I am putting it out there that I am interested and I think we should do something about it.
It used to frustrate me that women were willing to die before approaching a man. Now I just accept that they're expecting a dominant man to be the leader, so I lead. The first time I did this, a few days ago, I was following my gut (which told me that a woman I had been observing was now single) and when I suggested we go out on a date, she seems to have responded well. We shall see what happens, but I don't have any horses in the race, so to speak, so regardless, I'm happy because I did what it took to let her know I am interested and what I think we should do about it. If she's interested in return, and we hit it off, great. If not, next. But I did my part, and that makes me happy.
Today I walked into a restaurant and the hostess was a lovely blonde girl I have been observing. She's very, very attractive to me, but not in a conventional sense. Her appeal is her sexy, almost sultry sensuality, which she exudes almost palpably. She is neither skinny nor big, but has softness and curves in the right places and proportions to make her very womanly. This is the sort of woman who speaks, understands and appreciates the language of touch, and whom one could make love to all night without ever saying a word while communicating volumes back and forth with through eye contact, kisses and caresses.
Tonight when I walked in, she smiled broadly and genuinely at me, which is unusual. Until I started talking to her last time I was there, she was polite, but never more than superficial. So when she greeted me with this genuine smile of pleasure at seeing me, I greeted her back by name. She was taken aback that I remembered her name, and said so. To which I replied that yes, I remembered her name, I tend to do that with beautiful women. Which she seemed to really appreciate. When I left, she was gone.
I would bet big money she's taken. But I am going to make it known to her in no uncertain terms that not only do I find her attractive, but I am interested, and leave it at that. No need to infringe, but I will make her understand that I'm interested. Perhaps one day she'll be single and receptive, if she knows.
One of my biggest issues all this time seems to have been having the courage to communicate what I think about certain things, such as when I am attracted to a woman. Now... meh, no big deal. I have no expectation that my doing so will have any effect, impact or particular result, and I don't do it because I expect or am attached to any particular outcome. I now express myself because I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so, and I don't have time to waste waiting for a woman to get off her ass and approach me. Which will never happen, because they're all completely convinced that they can't or shouldn't do that, or they're expecting a dominant man to lead in that front.
Okay. Well, here it is.
I have also noticed that I am dressing up a lot more, and I enjoy the way it feels to do so. It fits my current level of self respect, and I notice it gets me significantly different treatment too. Women smile at me a lot more now, people make exceptions for me, I get compliments on how nice I look, women show a lot more interest, and I have people going out of their way to accommodate me. For instance, I had to go to Wal Mart today to buy a new phone charger, and there was a line even at the self checkout. I stood waiting a moment, and then the woman who was observing and running the four self checkouts called me over to check me out herself. She didn't make that effort for any of the people in front of me in line, several of whom had single items also. But for me, she did it, and she was very pleasant and respectful while doing so.
I am typically the best dressed man wherever I go now, and usually by a wide margin. It makes a difference.
Gentlemen, I highly recommend it. "Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." - ZZ Top
It used to frustrate me that women were willing to die before approaching a man. Now I just accept that they're expecting a dominant man to be the leader, so I lead. The first time I did this, a few days ago, I was following my gut (which told me that a woman I had been observing was now single) and when I suggested we go out on a date, she seems to have responded well. We shall see what happens, but I don't have any horses in the race, so to speak, so regardless, I'm happy because I did what it took to let her know I am interested and what I think we should do about it. If she's interested in return, and we hit it off, great. If not, next. But I did my part, and that makes me happy.
Today I walked into a restaurant and the hostess was a lovely blonde girl I have been observing. She's very, very attractive to me, but not in a conventional sense. Her appeal is her sexy, almost sultry sensuality, which she exudes almost palpably. She is neither skinny nor big, but has softness and curves in the right places and proportions to make her very womanly. This is the sort of woman who speaks, understands and appreciates the language of touch, and whom one could make love to all night without ever saying a word while communicating volumes back and forth with through eye contact, kisses and caresses.
Tonight when I walked in, she smiled broadly and genuinely at me, which is unusual. Until I started talking to her last time I was there, she was polite, but never more than superficial. So when she greeted me with this genuine smile of pleasure at seeing me, I greeted her back by name. She was taken aback that I remembered her name, and said so. To which I replied that yes, I remembered her name, I tend to do that with beautiful women. Which she seemed to really appreciate. When I left, she was gone.
I would bet big money she's taken. But I am going to make it known to her in no uncertain terms that not only do I find her attractive, but I am interested, and leave it at that. No need to infringe, but I will make her understand that I'm interested. Perhaps one day she'll be single and receptive, if she knows.
One of my biggest issues all this time seems to have been having the courage to communicate what I think about certain things, such as when I am attracted to a woman. Now... meh, no big deal. I have no expectation that my doing so will have any effect, impact or particular result, and I don't do it because I expect or am attached to any particular outcome. I now express myself because I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing so, and I don't have time to waste waiting for a woman to get off her ass and approach me. Which will never happen, because they're all completely convinced that they can't or shouldn't do that, or they're expecting a dominant man to lead in that front.
Okay. Well, here it is.
I have also noticed that I am dressing up a lot more, and I enjoy the way it feels to do so. It fits my current level of self respect, and I notice it gets me significantly different treatment too. Women smile at me a lot more now, people make exceptions for me, I get compliments on how nice I look, women show a lot more interest, and I have people going out of their way to accommodate me. For instance, I had to go to Wal Mart today to buy a new phone charger, and there was a line even at the self checkout. I stood waiting a moment, and then the woman who was observing and running the four self checkouts called me over to check me out herself. She didn't make that effort for any of the people in front of me in line, several of whom had single items also. But for me, she did it, and she was very pleasant and respectful while doing so.
I am typically the best dressed man wherever I go now, and usually by a wide margin. It makes a difference.
Gentlemen, I highly recommend it. "Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." - ZZ Top
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
