I have found the ways to deal with my exhaustion usually include focusing in a different direction, defocusing completely, and waiting for my circadian rhythms to cycle up again. I'm trying to force myself onto a normal sleep schedule lately. Yesterday I got up at 6 am, today it was 5 am. I prefer waking up at 6 am unless I'm going to be doing an early morning photoshoot. Early morning natural light is my favorite in which to work, bar none, but I don't like getting up at 4 am.
I can also meditate - that is, turn my body off and still my mind without losing consciousness; that helps with rest, but I might as well sleep at that point.
Yesterday what I did to push through the first time was I got in my car and drove to Lola's Seafood Eatery and had lunch. That evening, I had another downcycle, so I got in my car and drove to the grocery store, did some minor grocery shopping (Andrew style vegetable soup kicks some serious ass) and then went to get a pizza at my favorite pizza place.
Both times, when I arrived home, I was ready to keep going. Can't sleep in public, now can I.
BAMM seems to be doing some interesting, but very deep, very subconscious shifts in this stage... I am becoming much more confident in myself fear/guilt/shame continues to fade, and I seem to be emerging from something as if shedding another old skin and becoming someone new, something better, stronger, more mature, more capable. It's very subtle, but I can see it.
I feel more and more powerful.
Yesterday I was at the grocery store and I encountered a very beautiful woman who looked like one of my ex girlfriends who was a half Japanese lingerie model, only this woman had freckles. The effect was not just stunning, but captivating. She was with a man who was very obviously her husband, but I walked over and opened her and asked if she was half Japanese anyway, without even thinking about it. That amazed me. Normally I wouldn't do that. After analyzing in my head what part of the script made me respond that way, it occurred to me that I could make a 5G MaxSpeed version of the Overcoming Approach Anxiety sub and trigger the same results.
Then on the way home I started getting depressed because it's so hard to meet single women here. I have literally met only 4 in the last 3 years. But then something inside me said... f*ck this, I don't want to be depressed. So I went out and treated myself to pizza and that made me feel much better.
I like that response. The refusal to sink into depression also very much surprised me. Usually I don't have that response (depression) except to rare emotional traumas, and it hits me hard enough that I basically have no choice but to just go to bed and sleep it off. But this time, I basically said... I can't work in this state... and I can't go to bed this early and be on schedule... and there's no way in HELL I'm gonna sit around feeling like THIS all night... so... f*ck this, I'll go make myself feel better.
I'm impressed.
I can also meditate - that is, turn my body off and still my mind without losing consciousness; that helps with rest, but I might as well sleep at that point.
Yesterday what I did to push through the first time was I got in my car and drove to Lola's Seafood Eatery and had lunch. That evening, I had another downcycle, so I got in my car and drove to the grocery store, did some minor grocery shopping (Andrew style vegetable soup kicks some serious ass) and then went to get a pizza at my favorite pizza place.
Both times, when I arrived home, I was ready to keep going. Can't sleep in public, now can I.
BAMM seems to be doing some interesting, but very deep, very subconscious shifts in this stage... I am becoming much more confident in myself fear/guilt/shame continues to fade, and I seem to be emerging from something as if shedding another old skin and becoming someone new, something better, stronger, more mature, more capable. It's very subtle, but I can see it.
I feel more and more powerful.
Yesterday I was at the grocery store and I encountered a very beautiful woman who looked like one of my ex girlfriends who was a half Japanese lingerie model, only this woman had freckles. The effect was not just stunning, but captivating. She was with a man who was very obviously her husband, but I walked over and opened her and asked if she was half Japanese anyway, without even thinking about it. That amazed me. Normally I wouldn't do that. After analyzing in my head what part of the script made me respond that way, it occurred to me that I could make a 5G MaxSpeed version of the Overcoming Approach Anxiety sub and trigger the same results.
Then on the way home I started getting depressed because it's so hard to meet single women here. I have literally met only 4 in the last 3 years. But then something inside me said... f*ck this, I don't want to be depressed. So I went out and treated myself to pizza and that made me feel much better.
I like that response. The refusal to sink into depression also very much surprised me. Usually I don't have that response (depression) except to rare emotional traumas, and it hits me hard enough that I basically have no choice but to just go to bed and sleep it off. But this time, I basically said... I can't work in this state... and I can't go to bed this early and be on schedule... and there's no way in HELL I'm gonna sit around feeling like THIS all night... so... f*ck this, I'll go make myself feel better.
I'm impressed.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
