03-14-2018, 03:52 PM
Thanks Zane. Thank you for speaking up. I'll keep it simple tonight.
I'm still changing. I didn't sleep much at all last night, and I worked over 12 hours today. I'll write this then drop.
Past: When tired and lonely, I'd look for an emotional "fix". I'm seeing it now as an emotional hijack. ("It's got me and .....it's calling the shots now!!!") Never vocalized, but acted out over and over and over again, even in recent days.
Today: I'm more unwilling (not wanting) to go "back". Back to a known misery of being helpless over .....too much caffeine for me.
Past: I'd come home, feel low and just submit to the escape.
Today: I'm feeling tired of just accepting misery. I don't have replacements/substitutes in place---I am not thinking about it. Today (tonight) I'm going to drop for a full night's sleep.
I'm tired, so I'm going to drop now. Goodnight guys.
I'm still changing. I didn't sleep much at all last night, and I worked over 12 hours today. I'll write this then drop.
Past: When tired and lonely, I'd look for an emotional "fix". I'm seeing it now as an emotional hijack. ("It's got me and .....it's calling the shots now!!!") Never vocalized, but acted out over and over and over again, even in recent days.
Today: I'm more unwilling (not wanting) to go "back". Back to a known misery of being helpless over .....too much caffeine for me.
Past: I'd come home, feel low and just submit to the escape.
Today: I'm feeling tired of just accepting misery. I don't have replacements/substitutes in place---I am not thinking about it. Today (tonight) I'm going to drop for a full night's sleep.
I'm tired, so I'm going to drop now. Goodnight guys.
I want to be FREE!
