SargeMaximus: Time to Heal (DMSI 3.2A)

[SargeMaximus]

I get why people use tactics. Use whatever you like to succeed I guess. Although this is why I'm throwing tactics and techniques out the window now and doing natural game, cause I know many guys feel that self-worth issue, that it's their game attracting the girls, not their true self. I'm starting to notice now that I connect with girls better when I convey my true self, basically don't even try think of what to do, but just let my subconscious guide me. Conversations flow better and girls are more attracted.

I like the natural approach as well.

If it works for you, great. It doesn’t for me so I need to stay honest with myself.

[MasterEnki]

I get why people use tactics. Use whatever you like to succeed I guess. Although this is why I'm throwing tactics and techniques out the window now and doing natural game, cause I know many guys feel that self-worth issue, that it's their game attracting the girls, not their true self. I'm starting to notice now that I connect with girls better when I convey my true self, basically don't even try think of what to do, but just let my subconscious guide me. Conversations flow better and girls are more attracted.

In my experience, being myself has scared plenty of women off / lead to several women blocking me.

It hasn’t helped yet at attracting women.

In all fairness, I probably have never met the right kind of women for me. If I did meet someone that is ‘perfect for me’ then being myself would likely be extremely attractive to her.

But it did flush out the wrong kind of women. I doubt I would have been happy with some of the women that blocked me though.

As a 30 yo, with zero relationship experience and still a virgin (I have reached ‘1st base’ a few times though), being myself is the only viable option.

Being honest about my lack of experience might have scared off quite a few women, but one day a woman will really appreciate being the first of a 30+ yo.

Being a 30 yo virgin, who has never had a relationship, is a fetish to some women (according to some threads on the internet).

Some women say they wish they could meet a 30+ yo virgin and be his first, and that she would feel special being with someone that didn’t just throw away his virginity to some random escort / whore.


This also applies to Catman, and other older virgins also.


For the record, PUA hasn’t worked for me either.

But yeah... being yourself should work in theory, it makes logical sense.

From what I’ve read, there are many different kinds of women, and some would love you (when being yourself), some would hate you (when being yourself) and most would be unimpressed and not even notice that you exist (most women would see you as just another uninteresting / boring guy, just like the millions of others).

Almost every guy is boring to most women, but totally awesome to a rare few (from what I’ve read, and I’ve read thousands of threads about attraction and relationships).


I reckon almost every guy is a sexy fetish to at least one woman in the world.

I’m sure some women out there have a total Sarge fetish... salesman are quite sexy to some women...

[MasterEnki]

When suggesting a time the girl ghosted. I was trying a text method that some pua’s I know swear by but I e never gotten it to work. Rather it seems to set you up as her beta orbiter. Pissed at myself for using it when I know it doesn’t work. Still fascinates me that a girl can lose all interest in you based solely on what you say.

I heard that familiarity is very important to women.

If someone is a stranger, or new in her life, then saying one thing can scare her off forever / she will lose all interest.

But if you and her have known each other for months / years, and are familiar with one another, and you say the exact same thing (as the above situation), she will stay and not lose interest.

Well that’s what I’ve read anyway... Familiarity is a key ingredient to relationships with women.

You obviously are not following my journal. I’ve been on 2 dates with this girl and made out with her on date 2. 3 dates to sex is the beta norm so there’s no reason we couldn’t get together.

Also, in the future, please refrain from commenting here unless you know the background details. I’m getting tired of ignorant advice. Please read my signature as well.

From what I’ve read,

A lot of women need way more than just 2 dates to develop familiarity with a new guy.

I don’t know from experience. I’ve only been on 2 dates in my life, with the same woman, and she got naked without me telling her to and said she wants me to sleep with her.

But circumstances outside both our control stop any sex / relationship from occurring (group home being overprotective / over-the-top punitive anti-rape policies).


FYI, this isn’t really advice, just sharing thoughts and discussing.

But next time I will double read your journal, just to be clear on details.

[SargeMaximus]

I get why people use tactics. Use whatever you like to succeed I guess. Although this is why I'm throwing tactics and techniques out the window now and doing natural game, cause I know many guys feel that self-worth issue, that it's their game attracting the girls, not their true self. I'm starting to notice now that I connect with girls better when I convey my true self, basically don't even try think of what to do, but just let my subconscious guide me. Conversations flow better and girls are more attracted.

In my experience, being myself has scared plenty of women off / lead to several women blocking me.

It hasn’t helped yet at attracting women.

In all fairness, I probably have never met the right kind of women for me. If I did meet someone that is ‘perfect for me’ then being myself would likely be extremely attractive to her.

But it did flush out the wrong kind of women. I doubt I would have been happy with some of the women that blocked me though.

As a 30 yo, with zero relationship experience and still a virgin (I have reached ‘1st base’ a few times though), being myself is the only viable option.

Being honest about my lack of experience might have scared off quite a few women, but one day a woman will really appreciate being the first of a 30+ yo.

Being a 30 yo virgin, who has never had a relationship, is a fetish to some women (according to some threads on the internet).

Some women say they wish they could meet a 30+ yo virgin and be his first, and that she would feel special being with someone that didn’t just throw away his virginity to some random escort / *****.


This also applies to Catman, and other older virgins also.


For the record, PUA hasn’t worked for me either.

But yeah... being yourself should work in theory, it makes logical sense.

From what I’ve read, there are many different kinds of women, and some would love you (when being yourself), some would hate you (when being yourself) and most would be unimpressed and not even notice that you exist (most women would see you as just another uninteresting / boring guy, just like the millions of others).

Almost every guy is boring to most women, but totally awesome to a rare few (from what I’ve read, and I’ve read thousands of threads about attraction and relationships).


I reckon almost every guy is a sexy fetish to at least one woman in the world.

I’m sure some women out there have a total Sarge fetish... salesman are quite sexy to some women...

I appreciate the sentiment, however if I would have followed that train of thought, I would still be a virgin. Fact is, there are some things you simply must communicate in some form to be attractive to women. It’s worth noting that if that is your current belief and you are still a virgin, there’s a strong possibility it is the culprit.

Only when accepting that I wasn’t getting the results I wanted and taking matters into my own hands did I finally lose my virginity at 28 and have sex with 2 women this year. You say pua hasn’t worked for you, but I’ll say you haven’t found the right technique. Some pua concepts don’t work for me either (like the texting I did with this latest girl. Totally lost her because of it) but you just gotta find what works for you.

I feel like I’m talking to a wall with you virgins but I implore you, for your own sexual happiness, get real with yourself and find out why you’re failing and find a solution.

[wolverine_i_am]

I get why people use tactics. Use whatever you like to succeed I guess. Although this is why I'm throwing tactics and techniques out the window now and doing natural game, cause I know many guys feel that self-worth issue, that it's their game attracting the girls, not their true self. I'm starting to notice now that I connect with girls better when I convey my true self, basically don't even try think of what to do, but just let my subconscious guide me. Conversations flow better and girls are more attracted.

In my experience, being myself has scared plenty of women off / lead to several women blocking me.

It hasn’t helped yet at attracting women.

In all fairness, I probably have never met the right kind of women for me. If I did meet someone that is ‘perfect for me’ then being myself would likely be extremely attractive to her.

But it did flush out the wrong kind of women. I doubt I would have been happy with some of the women that blocked me though.

As a 30 yo, with zero relationship experience and still a virgin (I have reached ‘1st base’ a few times though), being myself is the only viable option.

Being honest about my lack of experience might have scared off quite a few women, but one day a woman will really appreciate being the first of a 30+ yo.

Being a 30 yo virgin, who has never had a relationship, is a fetish to some women (according to some threads on the internet).

Some women say they wish they could meet a 30+ yo virgin and be his first, and that she would feel special being with someone that didn’t just throw away his virginity to some random escort / *****.


This also applies to Catman, and other older virgins also.


For the record, PUA hasn’t worked for me either.

But yeah... being yourself should work in theory, it makes logical sense.

From what I’ve read, there are many different kinds of women, and some would love you (when being yourself), some would hate you (when being yourself) and most would be unimpressed and not even notice that you exist (most women would see you as just another uninteresting / boring guy, just like the millions of others).

Almost every guy is boring to most women, but totally awesome to a rare few (from what I’ve read, and I’ve read thousands of threads about attraction and relationships).


I reckon almost every guy is a sexy fetish to at least one woman in the world.

I’m sure some women out there have a total Sarge fetish... salesman are quite sexy to some women...

I'm not sure if you understand what natural game is really about by the way. Look into Social Prime's philosophy. It's not your true self that is unattractive and scaring women away. In fact it is your damaged self that you're currently presenting to them, which is why you're struggling with women. We end up this way cause of years of childhood trauma and conditioning, so we act with fear and a thick mask to prevent us from truly connecting with women. This isn't your true natural self at all. You need to peel back those layers and eliminate the fear from holding you back (dont worry I have it too), so then you'll be who you're really meant to be - your true self. It's not about learning more techniques to become more attractive in my opinion. It's about unlearning and removing the negative conditioning, to uncover your true self.

Anyway I dont wanna derail Sarge's journal.

[SargeMaximus]

When suggesting a time the girl ghosted. I was trying a text method that some pua’s I know swear by but I e never gotten it to work. Rather it seems to set you up as her beta orbiter. Pissed at myself for using it when I know it doesn’t work. Still fascinates me that a girl can lose all interest in you based solely on what you say.

I heard that familiarity is very important to women.

If someone is a stranger, or new in her life, then saying one thing can scare her off forever / she will lose all interest.

But if you and her have known each other for months / years, and are familiar with one another, and you say the exact same thing (as the above situation), she will stay and not lose interest.

Well that’s what I’ve read anyway... Familiarity is a key ingredient to relationships with women.

You obviously are not following my journal. I’ve been on 2 dates with this girl and made out with her on date 2. 3 dates to sex is the beta norm so there’s no reason we couldn’t get together.

Also, in the future, please refrain from commenting here unless you know the background details. I’m getting tired of ignorant advice. Please read my signature as well.

From what I’ve read,

A lot of women need way more than just 2 dates to develop familiarity with a new guy.

I don’t know from experience. I’ve only been on 2 dates in my life, with the same woman, and she got naked without me telling her to and said she wants me to sleep with her.

But circumstances outside both our control stop any sex / relationship from occurring (group home being overprotective / over-the-top punitive anti-rape policies).


FYI, this isn’t really advice, just sharing thoughts and discussing.

But next time I will double read your journal, just to be clear on details.

I appreciate that, thank you.

However, since you are a virgin and I am not, we will take my experience over yours in this matter. I’ve always had sex within 2 dates, once within an hour.

[MasterEnki]

Kudos for your progress.

I do remember you had a chubby FWB, and also a squirter who cockblocked you after she came a few times.

I’m pretty sure I would currently be in a relationship with the group home woman, if the manager / her carer let us sleep together.

But that didn’t happen, so I’m still a virgin and you’re a guy who has had a few lays.

Your successful experience is what really matters for you. It seems that one thing works great for someone, and not at all for someone else.

I will continue discussions on the ‘Chatterbox’ forum...

[rayrocanaldo]

I like how everyone is discussing their views, opinions and experiences. I remember just trying to see what it will be like to go after my goal of become amazing with women and I naturally started to speak more confidently to a girl and she smirked at me. I was giving myself a glimpse to what it's going to be like when I start going after my goal. Of course, I am not going to take this as a technique meaning that I always need to talk like that to girls to get them to like me. I know I can be natural.

[thor2014]

When suggesting a time the girl ghosted. I was trying a text method that some pua’s I know swear by but I e never gotten it to work. Rather it seems to set you up as her beta orbiter. Pissed at myself for using it when I know it doesn’t work. Still fascinates me that a girl can lose all interest in you based solely on what you say.

I heard that familiarity is very important to women.

If someone is a stranger, or new in her life, then saying one thing can scare her off forever / she will lose all interest.

But if you and her have known each other for months / years, and are familiar with one another, and you say the exact same thing (as the above situation), she will stay and not lose interest.

Well that’s what I’ve read anyway... Familiarity is a key ingredient to relationships with women.

You obviously are not following my journal. I’ve been on 2 dates with this girl and made out with her on date 2. 3 dates to sex is the beta norm so there’s no reason we couldn’t get together.

Also, in the future, please refrain from commenting here unless you know the background details. I’m getting tired of ignorant advice. Please read my signature as well.

From what I’ve read,

A lot of women need way more than just 2 dates to develop familiarity with a new guy.

I don’t know from experience. I’ve only been on 2 dates in my life, with the same woman, and she got naked without me telling her to and said she wants me to sleep with her.

But circumstances outside both our control stop any sex / relationship from occurring (group home being overprotective / over-the-top punitive anti-rape policies).


FYI, this isn’t really advice, just sharing thoughts and discussing.

But next time I will double read your journal, just to be clear on details.

I appreciate that, thank you.

However, since you are a virgin and I am not, we will take my experience over yours in this matter. I’ve always had sex within 2 dates, once within an hour.

If she is holding back sex after two dates she probably wants long term commitment or just enjoys your attention. I personally go for fast sex if nothing after two dates I lose interest and move on. I speak from experience .

[SargeMaximus]

Thor, how do you keep yourself in the fast sex category? I’m always getting put in the boyfriend material.

[thor2014]

Just go out and meet as many women as possible then screen them for fast sex. The only downside is that after you shagged over 30 girls word gets around that your a bad boy. Which means girls who want boyfriends won't go near you especially if you live in a small city. So just keep that in mind.

[SargeMaximus]

Just go out and meet as many women as possible then screen them for fast sex. The only downside is that after you shagged over 30 girls word gets around that your a bad boy. Which means girls who want boyfriends won't go near you especially if you live in a small city. So just keep that in mind.

I'm not sure if I live in a small city or not. What's the criteria? million people or less?

[apollolux]

Just go out and meet as many women as possible then screen them for fast sex. The only downside is that after you shagged over 30 girls word gets around that your a bad boy. Which means girls who want boyfriends won't go near you especially if you live in a small city. So just keep that in mind.

I'm not sure if I live in a small city or not. What's the criteria? million people or less?

In the US at least I would think that "small city" would be in the tens of thousands, maybe upward of one or two hundred thousand. Even some of the biggest cities here don't necessarily reach a full million in population (acc. to Wikipedia, anything outside of the top ten are all less than one million). There are state capitals that don't even reach 100,000 people! Don't know what the threshold might be in Canada.

[SargeMaximus]

Just go out and meet as many women as possible then screen them for fast sex. The only downside is that after you shagged over 30 girls word gets around that your a bad boy. Which means girls who want boyfriends won't go near you especially if you live in a small city. So just keep that in mind.

I'm not sure if I live in a small city or not. What's the criteria? million people or less?

In the US at least I would think that "small city" would be in the tens of thousands, maybe upward of one or two hundred thousand. Even some of the biggest cities here don't necessarily reach a full million in population (acc. to Wikipedia, anything outside of the top ten are all less than one million). There are state capitals that don't even reach 100,000 people! Don't know what the threshold might be in Canada.

Good to know, thanks. I should be fine here then. Over a million people. I can always take breaks too I suppose.