SargeMaximus: Time to Heal (DMSI 3.2A)

[SargeMaximus]

Have a very good job opportunity, but it requires some travel. I'm seriously considering it. Just need to iron out the details.

ION, just got back from the supermarket, cute girl using the self-checkout beside me left and went back into the store once she was done rather than walk past me and expose her beautiful ass to my line of sight. There's no exit through the store, only past the self-checkouts so I gotta wonder what that was about.

[SargeMaximus]

F*ck me.

I thought a girl was dtf. She said her place would work and when I asked for address she went silent. Long story short I went to her town (not far) and she ended up blocking me despite saying she was looking for fun and all that. Anyhow, then I was gonna drive home but I got into a car accident. No one hurt, I just blew my front tires on a median is all. But a cop was there when I did it so I got a ticket and I need new tires if not a new car. Plus with the ticket my premiums will go up. What a mess.

Don’t know how I’m gonna get out of this one. I’ll need to borrow the money for sure. I wonder if I’ll be able to move like I planned for that job too.

I had an urge to blame it on the girl, but the truth is I should never had made that illegal turn. That’s the only thing I did wrong. This is important to remember because I think I’m feeling old programming around sex saying this is some kind of punishment for going after a girl. Shame is looking for something to blame but it was just a bad turn.

[RTBoss]

Sorry to hear about your accident, Sarge. Glad you're okay. Good insights from it.

[rayrocanaldo]

An accident? Hey woah, you need to be alive & WELL for when I start my journal. Glad your safe!

[SargeMaximus]

Thanks guys, I appreciate the support. It was a shocker to be sure. Interestingly, last year before I left for that job in a different city, I also crashed my car. I wonder if that had something to do with it.

[SargeMaximus]

Just in case anyone's curious (and for the records and DMSI research) here was the online convo with the girl:

Me: Hey trouble

Her: Hi

Me: How's your night going?

Her: Good you?

Me: Good. Just chillin. Sexy costume btw

Her: Thanks Halloween is fun

Me: True dat. Too bad it's so far away.

Me: I could use a little fun

Her: It's not too far, only a couple weeks.

Her: Yeah, we could all use more fun

Me: Wanna meet up?

Her: Yeah we could do that

Me: Your place?

Her: Yeah

Me: Address?

*no reply, so I messaged her later*

Me: You still there?

Her: Yeah, I'm still here

Me: Is now a good time?

Her: Yeah

Me: Ok what's the address then?

Then she blocked me. Wtf? I don't know why she didn't just block me from the beginning but this seemed promising. This was me mostly being myself except for a few PUA lines thrown in there.

[lano1106]

if she doesnt answer one of your question. It is because she has a concern. It is a big guess for a woman to invite a stranger over... Women will usually feel more comfortable to come over instead. If logistically not possible for you to invite, then propose a neutral meeting point. ie: Is there a coffee shop nearby your place that we could first meet and then decide what we do from there?

Also, here is 2 things. Especially if you plan to travel to see her, I find it important to have a phone # at least so that you don't do all the distance to end up blocked.

Secondly, I prefer to have girls come see me instead of me going to their place. Why? Because I want to leverage the commitment and consistency principle in my favor... ie: If the girl travel for 3 hours to meet and you only 5 minutes. Who is more invested?

[SargeMaximus]

if she doesnt answer one of your question. It is because she has a concern. It is a big guess for a woman to invite a stranger over... Women will usually feel more comfortable to come over instead. If logistically not possible for you to invite, then propose a neutral meeting point. ie: Is there a coffee shop nearby your place that we could first meet and then decide what we do from there?

Also, here is 2 things. Especially if you plan to travel to see her, I find it important to have a phone # at least so that you don't do all the distance to end up blocked.

Secondly, I prefer to have girls come see me instead of me going to their place. Why? Because I want to leverage the commitment and consistency principle in my favor... ie: If the girl travel for 3 hours to meet and you only 5 minutes. Who is more invested?

Ah, fair enough. Thanks.

Unfortunately, I cannot host as I've said before and getting a hotel is out of the question. Next time I'll suggest a meeting place tho, and from there see if she's open to going back to hers. Would that work?

Thing is, that's why I asked her "Your place?" to see if she was ok with it. She said yeah so I assumed yes but this is good insight, thanks.

[lano1106]

if she doesnt answer one of your question. It is because she has a concern. It is a big guess for a woman to invite a stranger over... Women will usually feel more comfortable to come over instead. If logistically not possible for you to invite, then propose a neutral meeting point. ie: Is there a coffee shop nearby your place that we could first meet and then decide what we do from there?

Also, here is 2 things. Especially if you plan to travel to see her, I find it important to have a phone # at least so that you don't do all the distance to end up blocked.

Secondly, I prefer to have girls come see me instead of me going to their place. Why? Because I want to leverage the commitment and consistency principle in my favor... ie: If the girl travel for 3 hours to meet and you only 5 minutes. Who is more invested?

Ah, fair enough. Thanks.

Unfortunately, I cannot host as I've said before and getting a hotel is out of the question. Next time I'll suggest a meeting place tho, and from there see if she's open to going back to hers. Would that work?

Thing is, that's why I asked her "Your place?" to see if she was ok with it. She said yeah so I assumed yes but this is good insight, thanks.

Asking "Your place?" is fine imho and she replied, yeah. but if she refuse to give you her address, that means that there is an issue. Not addressing the issue and persist made her block you because it was easier to do that than explaining what her issue was.

If you feel resistance, then fall back on plan b which is to propose a neutral meeting point. See the fallback plan as 'door in the face' technique from Cialdini Reciprocity chapter in his Influence book.

[SargeMaximus]

I get you. So how do you frame the fallback without making it seem desperate? Like how would you phrase it?

[SargeMaximus]

So I gained 1% manliness today because I changed my own tires on my car. Good for me.

Also, noticed a LOT of rudeness from people working stores, especially at the tire shop. Luckily, after 2 rude cashiers pawning me off to the next, I got a sweet and helpful/polite woman. We bantered a bit while she did the paperwork and took the old tires and I left. When I came back to pick up my tires, she wasn't there. But the rude girl from previous was and she was VERY polite and helpful. Full 180. Glad to see things swing back towards me instead of 180 away from me.

Luckily, it only cost me $57 total. Not bad. I honestly feel lucky considering what happened.


ION, signed up with Seeking Arrangement.com today to try out the "Salt Daddy" game. BUT, it costs money to view messages! F*ck that shit. Deleted. Back to POF. Gotten success with the PUA script but I don't have enough material for texts that follow.


EDIT: ION, I have another feather to ad to my cap! I finally got that online dating scammer to send nudes. Bastard kept holding out because he uses them as bait but I got him to send them without me doing a thing! It's been a side-hobby of mine. I'm not sure it's the same guy tho, because he's sent me messages at least 4-5 times already and never seems to remember. Anyhow, this is the ultimate: get everything I want without giving anything away.

[lano1106]

I get you. So how do you frame the fallback without making it seem desperate? Like how would you phrase it?

Read the Reciprocity chapter again... 'door-in-the-face' technique...

There is nothing of desperation in it.

You offer something that has been declined... You then propose a smaller request easier to accept and the reciprocity principle will make it even harder to say no to the second request.

That would be a disservice to formulate the exact words how I would say it.

The frame is the one from someone who understand her reality and is sensible to concerns that she might have by meeting a stranger... Your goal is to make her feel safe meeting you...

What I do is that I set my expectations to meet an adventurous women... That is a qualification for me in new women.... but if I feel some resistance to go with the plan, then calibrate accordingly...

[SargeMaximus]

Disservice? I thought I told you no moralizing. Fine I’ll find it elsewhere.

Ion, some women go apeshit online.

[apollolux]

That would be a disservice to formulate the exact words how I would say it.

Disservice? I thought I told you no moralizing. Fine I’ll find it elsewhere.

I think he means he wants to make sure he's describing the thing correctly so that there's no ambiguity about the action and its intent.