SantaRich's Journal

[SantaRich]

I was thinking about the house I lived in when I was a child,the other day. I was thinking that it feels like a million years ago, or that it kind of happened in some other life. I also had a weird dream the other day. I dreamed of the scene in Rocky 4 when he was lifting them in the big wheel barrow thing, I think it was my face though and not sylvester stallone's. I have had one or two other dreams, I always tell myself to try to remember them or write them down, but I always forget to.

I am feeling pretty reflective right now, thinking back to things in my life and trying to figure out why I am where I am at in my life, and where I want to go. I would say I have never felt really in control of my life, but I have had my moments of.....clarity. The last time I started feeling like my life was going in a good direction, I stopped doing what I am pretty sure was making the changes happen.

I have also noticed lately that I am not giving as much thought to what I say as I did before, there would sometimes be a lag between the voice in my head and my mouth, so it would probably sound like I stuttered, which was kind of annoying.

I do feel that some people are reacting more positively to me.

I am also feeling more sure of myself.

Also, it has happened to me a few times, where I am listening to the sub and I know it is playing, but I don't hear it, I don't know if I am still sleeping or what because the only version I can listen to is the stream, which is very relaxing to me, but like I said, a few times I have been like what the hell, I know it is on.