09-04-2016, 04:50 PM
It's been a rollercoaster. Safe to say that Stage 6 is humbling. Felt pretty solid and sexy on Stage 5, and it seems like Stage 6 is breaking me down again. Wonder if it has anything to do with the masked:ultrasonic ratio. I got into the habit of 2h masked, 8h us, but towards the end of stage 5 and for much of stage 6 it's been almost all US.
I've had moments during Stage 5 and 6 where I'm like I need to fuck and it's more important than any of my insecurities. What a great feeling, and one that can lead to incredible frustration considering that I still haven't gotten laid. I let two leads go cold because those insecurities caught up to me. I tried to meet up with one of them 3 nights in a row and she has largely ignored me, meanwhile her snapchat is alive and well. I find myself wanting to resent her but that's how this shit is and I need to accept it. I let the window close. I don't want to keep trying to meet up with her as I come off as needy/desperate. I also don't want to burn bridges and block/erase her from my life. She might come around one day. Thoughts?
Today I was at the mall feeling kind of scattered. Encountered some cuties but didn't make any real effort. So many asses in tights. The sexual frustration was fierce. Kind of down because I have no options. I remind myself I have to create them...and follow through.
I've had moments during Stage 5 and 6 where I'm like I need to fuck and it's more important than any of my insecurities. What a great feeling, and one that can lead to incredible frustration considering that I still haven't gotten laid. I let two leads go cold because those insecurities caught up to me. I tried to meet up with one of them 3 nights in a row and she has largely ignored me, meanwhile her snapchat is alive and well. I find myself wanting to resent her but that's how this shit is and I need to accept it. I let the window close. I don't want to keep trying to meet up with her as I come off as needy/desperate. I also don't want to burn bridges and block/erase her from my life. She might come around one day. Thoughts?
Today I was at the mall feeling kind of scattered. Encountered some cuties but didn't make any real effort. So many asses in tights. The sexual frustration was fierce. Kind of down because I have no options. I remind myself I have to create them...and follow through.
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
