Question for Shannon About AM/SM

[SargeMaximus]

Sarge he is trying to help, no need to address him like that. His post seems pretty genuine to me.

It's obvious to me Shannon wasn't talking about food and water and i'm not sure where you come up with that. You seem to want to prove any attempt to help you as wrong and find any little kind of evidence going against that no matter how out there.

No, Shannon was talking about relying on ourselves to satisfy needs rather than externally. I'm pointing out where that is not the case. Shannon also mentioned sex, which is NOT an emotion, but a physical activity, much like eating.

The way forward is to stop seeking outside yourself for your needs to be met. Find them within you. Master yourself.

What about food? What about shelter? What about water?

Sarge...he's obviously talking about emotional needs and about self validation...it's not to be taken literally. Let's not waste Shannon's precious time. I'd rather him spend time on EEHPRA, 6G research, or his own personal pursuits then writing 5-6 paragraphs and an hour or so to respond to that, come on man.

I'm not even going to bother reading the rest of your post. Shannon's time is not being wasted, I'm bringing up legitimate concerns, who invited YOU here anyhow? Move along.

Maybe you should consider. Hi didn't write it to put you down, even if it may sound like at the begin.

Yes of course. No offense Catman, I'm sure you mean well, but I don't have patience for mid-conversation intrusions and lectures.

If you want to talk about stuff, just send me a pm and I'll be happy to consider it, but atm I'm trying to get to the bottom of a life-long issue, I'm sure you understand.

[QuantumEnthusiast]

I completely understand where you are right now, because I myself were at the same place. I used to blame my circumstances, life, my mom and dad. It was EASIER this way because then I can keep playing the victim role and not take control of things. It's easier to blame others than own up for your life and take control of it. I had gotten comfortable living in misery and a victim role because it was easier. Forgiving the past and circumstances, people and letting go takes effort and work. Until you do you are never free or happy.

Bro you've been asking Shannon to clear things up for you and he's given you a lot of great insight referring to his personal experiences and how he's been through a similar state of mind in life. The reason you aren't understanding it is because you aren't REALLY trying to understand it, REALLY trying to look deep into what Shannon has shared; what you are doing is finding something out of context to disagree with what Shannon is saying so that you can continue to allow the hatred, neediness and anger towards women and circumstances in your life to perpetuate. You need to realize that subconsciously you have a lot of resistance to letting your hatred, anger and past go. You think you want to consciously let all of it go but the moment you are presented with a solution you let your subconscious patterns and resistance come up to retaliate against what is being said; you allow your old subconscious programming to defend itself.

If you didn't let your subconscious programming jump the gun, you'd realize that Shannon was referring to emotional needs that you are trying to satisfy by seeking it externally. I used to do the same, I'd hook up with women then get a huge ego boost. Yes it gives a temporary high and satisfaction, ego gratification but it's very superficial and meaningless. I used to be angry towards women, then I asked myself WHY am I having sex with them then? Then I realized how I was just trying to cover my emotional wounds and that void that was left because of what I went through in life by having meaningless sex, drinking alcohol and engaging in narcissistic activities and behaviors.

You have anger and hatred towards women that was the result of your mother, or to put it more accurately the representation or perception you have of your mother. Yes s**t happened, she did this, she was this, she said this and then this happened, that happened and now your emotional state is a result of that. The question is do you want to change this? Then let go of the hatred and the anger, because you aren't being fair to YOURSELF by hanging on to all that. Don't you love YOURSELF? The lack of attention, care and love from your mother has made you needy and seek it externally from the outside, specifically through sex and other women. The thing is hatred towards women isn't helping this. You hate and continue to blame circumstances around you and your past with the victim mentality. Don't YOU want to be in control of YOUR life? If yes, then STOP blaming the circumstances and others for it and instead take control of yourself. The more you blame and hate, the more you perpetuate the victim mentality.

You have access to all the great insight people of this forum has share dof their own journeys. You have these amazing subs that are there for you to take advantage of to become the best that you and I both KNOW you CAN be. What you're doing though is trying to block out and deny all that so that you can continue to stay in the comfort of your misery.

The door to your jail cell has been unlocked my friend, you can step out of the cell and become whoever you WANT to be, create the life YOU want to create on your own terms without attachments to your past that you couldn't control, OR you can stay in the unlocked cell afraid to come out and experience the endless possibilities and opportunities.

[QuantumEnthusiast]

Also let me quote you, "Opportunity doesn't knock, it waves". There is opportunity here for you to change your life for the better, be happy and create the life you want to create and are in control of; it's waving at you. What will you do?

[SargeMaximus]

I completely understand where you are right now, because I myself were at the same place. I used to blame my circumstances, life, my mom and dad. It was EASIER this way because then I can keep playing the victim role and not take control of things. It's easier to blame others than own up for your life and take control of it. I had gotten comfortable living in misery and a victim role because it was easier. Forgiving the past and circumstances, people and letting go takes effort and work. Until you do you are never free or happy.

I'm not blaming them for my circumstances. No where have I blamed anyone. Check the thread, quote me if I'm lying. I'm calling you guys out from now on if you HAVE to be involved.

Bro you've been asking Shannon to clear things up for you and he's given you a lot of great insight referring to his personal experiences and how he's been through a similar state of mind in life. The reason you aren't understanding it is because you aren't REALLY trying to understand it, REALLY trying to look deep into what Shannon has shared; what you are doing is finding something out of context to disagree with what Shannon is saying so that you can continue to allow the hatred, neediness and anger towards women and circumstances in your life to perpetuate. You need to realize that subconsciously you have a lot of resistance to letting your hatred, anger and past go. You think you want to consciously let all of it go but the moment you are presented with a solution you let your subconscious patterns and resistance come up to retaliate against what is being said; you allow your old subconscious programming to defend itself.

You can't say I'm not really trying to understand this. To say that is to say you can read my thoughts... can you read my thoughts? No? Didn't think so.

I am very grateful to Shannon for sharing his experiences, he has, in fact, made quite an effort here where in the past he has just lectured. I'm trying to understand it, but I cannot (and will not) just accept something when evidence exists to support the opposite. Fact and Truth do not need convincing, they are SELF-EVIDENT. Where we are now is the realm of opinions and opposing points of view. Thus, I am asking for clarification so I can understand. But if Shannon's points do not hold up to scrutiny, I will not abandon them just because he said so. I think this is a very WISE policy to have my friend.

If you didn't let your subconscious programming jump the gun, you'd realize that Shannon was referring to emotional needs that you are trying to satisfy by seeking it externally.

Shannon explicitly included SEX in his argument. Sex is NOT an emotion.

I used to do the same, I'd hook up with women then get a huge ego boost. Yes it gives a temporary high and satisfaction, ego gratification but it's very superficial and meaningless.

I'm still a virgin, what do you mean "I used to do the same"?

I used to be angry towards women, then I asked myself WHY am I having sex with them then? Then I realized how I was just trying to cover my emotional wounds and that void that was left because of what I went through in life by having meaningless sex, drinking alcohol and engaging in narcissistic activities and behaviors.

I don't drink either lol. Who are you talking to? Me or yourself?

You have anger and hatred towards women that was the result of your mother, or to put it more accurately the representation or perception you have of your mother. Yes s**t happened, she did this, she was this, she said this and then this happened, that happened and now your emotional state is a result of that. The question is do you want to change this? Then let go of the hatred and the anger, because you aren't being fair to YOURSELF by hanging on to all that. Don't you love YOURSELF?

I will gladly if you can tell me HOW to do that... can you?

The lack of attention, care and love from your mother has made you needy and seek it externally from the outside, specifically through sex and other women. The thing is hatred towards women isn't helping this. You hate and continue to blame circumstances around you and your past with the victim mentality. Don't YOU want to be in control of YOUR life? If yes, then STOP blaming the circumstances and others for it and instead take control of yourself. The more you blame and hate, the more you perpetuate the victim mentality.

You have access to all the great insight people of this forum has share dof their own journeys. You have these amazing subs that are there for you to take advantage of to become the best that you and I both KNOW you CAN be. What you're doing though is trying to block out and deny all that so that you can continue to stay in the comfort of your misery.

No I'm not. I approach women regularly, I'm over a TON of fears by now, actively improving my life in every way, listening to EPRHA 10+ hrs a night, etc etc.
Point is, frankly: You don't know what you're talking about so I must ask why are you here? Are you REALLY trying to help? or just lecture me? Cause if you're REALLY trying to help, you'll tell me HOW to do all this you're talking about and/or share your obviously AMAZING in-depth knowledge of psychology for someone in my position... well? Come on now, let's have it!

The door to your jail cell has been unlocked my friend, you can step out of the cell and become whoever you WANT to be, create the life YOU want to create on your own terms without attachments to your past that you couldn't control, OR you can stay in the unlocked cell afraid to come out and experience the endless possibilities and opportunities.

You know, Tony Robbins says "Whenever you're at a fork in the road, DECIDE who you want to be in THAT moment."

That seems to be all you're saying as well, which is GREAT (honestly) but again, nothing new nor helpful.

[QuantumEnthusiast]

Alright I'm sorry, I understand. Try this.

Everyday for 30 days write down these:

- At least 3 things you are grateful for

- 1 positive thing you know, you've known or noticed about your mother

- 1 positive thing you like or notice about women

- 3 positive things you did and appreciate yourself for doing

Also try this:

- Every morning as soon as you wake up, sit down on a chair or on your bed with your feet flat on the ground then close your eyes. Say this 3 times, "I want to bring love, and understanding into my relationship with my mother". Then focus on where your Third eye is and breathe into it with your nose slowly and exhale, do this for 21 times.


Try doing all that, and see the results you get. How good your results are will depend on how much effort you put into it and how well you complete the tasks consistently. Wish you all the best man

[SargeMaximus]

Alright I'm sorry, I understand. Try this.

Everyday for 30 days write down these:

- At least 3 things you are grateful for

- 1 positive thing you know, you've known or noticed about your mother

- 1 positive thing you like or notice about women

- 3 positive things you did and appreciate yourself for doing

Also try this:

- Every morning as soon as you wake up, sit down on a chair or on your bed with your feet flat on the ground then close your eyes. Say this 3 times, "I want to bring love, and understanding into my relationship with my mother". Then focus on where your Third eye is and breathe into it with your nose slowly and exhale, do this for 21 times.


Try doing all that, and see the results you get. How good your results are will depend on how much effort you put into it and how well you complete the tasks consistently. Wish you all the best man

Thank you for that, I WILL give it a try. Just to be clear for EVERYONE reading this (yes, even you guys in the BACK lol) my childhood involved a near-death experience at the hands of a caretaker. So my case is more complicated than most's. The only reason I have not done anything crazy yet is:

1. i don't want to hurt other people
2. i want money and women
3. I hope to one day enjoy life for longer than a few days (I'm not kidding, I CAN enter the blissful power of now state at any moment, but this would require I never attempt to make money ever again, in which case I WOULD starve to death.)

Those are all that keep me going atm. So, there it is. I'm not being the usual forum-lurking self-helper who won't change. I am more than working on my problems and rising to meet life's challenges, but I also have a larger handicap than most people. It is what it is, BUT it IS what it IS. I'm working on it.

I just do not, in any way shape or form, appreciate lecturing from people who have NO IDEA what my life's story is. ESPECIALLY when you've read my stuff on the forum and most of you KNOW (unless you think I'm lying) that I AM working on things. Which takes time.

I can only hope you all never have to realize how complicated life CAN be lol.

[SargeMaximus]

SargeMaximus,I see how frustrating is for you to 'handle' the advices ,the preaching and their own.experiences,putting them in your face.It's full of motivational speakers on this forum,people who understand you more than you yourself do, and people who will gladly put you down so that they can uplift themselves.There is nothing wrong with that,but it is about being helpful,not annoying.

I think this negativity will get you nowhere.Plus the motivational speakers here make matters worse.I,personally,if you have encountered threads of mine,get annoyed when people either don't understand the question,or they try to add in some personal ,off- topic and not really helpful philosophy,or they blame me for my scepticism and curiosity.Why bother ?

What I think :These are your own issues.You should seek for
the answers on your own.We can't help you the way you can help yourself.

SOMEONE WHO GETS IT!!!! lol

I agree with you in a lot of ways man, BUT I do need/want opinions from some (Like Shannon) because he seems to know a bit more about self-mastery than most.

As for "why bother"? I thought of that myself before responding to Catman. I literally thought (oh, an "ignorant". >>)

Thing is, staying quiet, well, that's what I've done most of my life. I am totally convinced that the lack of advocation for me led to a belief that I don't deserve advocacy. It is, then UP TO ME to advocate FOR MYSELF. Sure, you can take the Jesus road and stay silent, and they'll marvel. But does it help? I don't know. I really don't.

In the infinite choices in life, it is truly a wonder any of us are still alive.

[QuantumEnthusiast]

Alright I'm sorry, I understand. Try this.

Everyday for 30 days write down these:

- At least 3 things you are grateful for

- 1 positive thing you know, you've known or noticed about your mother

- 1 positive thing you like or notice about women

- 3 positive things you did and appreciate yourself for doing

Also try this:

- Every morning as soon as you wake up, sit down on a chair or on your bed with your feet flat on the ground then close your eyes. Say this 3 times, "I want to bring love, and understanding into my relationship with my mother". Then focus on where your Third eye is and breathe into it with your nose slowly and exhale, do this for 21 times.


Try doing all that, and see the results you get. How good your results are will depend on how much effort you put into it and how well you complete the tasks consistently. Wish you all the best man

Thank you for that, I WILL give it a try. Just to be clear for EVERYONE reading this (yes, even you guys in the BACK lol) my childhood involved a near-death experience at the hands of a caretaker. So my case is more complicated than most's. The only reason I have not done anything crazy yet is:

1. i don't want to hurt other people
2. i want money and women
3. I hope to one day enjoy life for longer than a few days (I'm not kidding, I CAN enter the blissful power of now state at any moment, but this would require I never attempt to make money ever again, in which case I WOULD starve to death.)

Those are all that keep me going atm. So, there it is. I'm not being the usual forum-lurking self-helper who won't change. I am more than working on my problems and rising to meet life's challenges, but I also have a larger handicap than most people. It is what it is, BUT it IS what it IS. I'm working on it.

I just do not, in any way shape or form, appreciate lecturing from people who have NO IDEA what my life's story is. ESPECIALLY when you've read my stuff on the forum and most of you KNOW (unless you think I'm lying) that I AM working on things. Which takes time.

I can only hope you all never have to realize how complicated life CAN be lol.

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through such a tragic experience. It also reminds me of the fact that there is always someone that has or had it worse than me and makes me grateful for the things I do have that makes me fortunate. I could have been born into extreme poverty with access to no food, medicine or safety with life threatening circumstances. I really am thankful.

I'm glad I decided to reply to this thread because it reminded me of a lesson. I'm grateful for the opportunity to reply to this thread and for your reply Sarge. This experience has been very useful. I wish you all the best again! Keep us updated

[SargeMaximus]

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through such a tragic experience. It also reminds me of the fact that there is always someone that has or had it worse than me and makes me grateful for the things I do have that makes me fortunate. I could have been born into extreme poverty with access to no food, medicine or safety with life threatening circumstances. I really am thankful.

I'm glad I decided to reply to this thread because it reminded me of a lesson. I'm grateful for the opportunity to reply to this thread and for your reply Sarge. This experience has been very useful. I wish you all the best again! Keep us updated

Thank you sir. This reminds me, as well, that it is good to communicate, even if communicating things is hard or "out of place" (i.e. freaking out rather than taking the "high road") reminds me of what my counselor said "maybe people don't trust you because how could anyone go through what you did and be calm and collected?"

Makes me think.

I'm glad you replied as well my friend, you've shown character, and I appreciate your efforts.

[Shannon]

The way forward is to stop seeking outside yourself for your needs to be met. Find them within you. Master yourself.

What about food? What about shelter? What about water?

Questions like this tell me that you are seeking attention instead of success. It is an easy way to avoid the growth you face that frightens you to face. I can point the way, but I cannot do this for you. You know what you need to know to succeed. Now it's up to you to decide to do what it takes. If you're intelligent enough to try this avoidance ploy, you're intelligent enough to use what you know to find the goal.

[SargeMaximus]

The way forward is to stop seeking outside yourself for your needs to be met. Find them within you. Master yourself.

What about food? What about shelter? What about water?

Questions like this tell me that you are seeking attention instead of success. It is an easy way to avoid the growth you face that frightens you to face. I can point the way, but I cannot do this for you. You know what you need to know to succeed. Now it's up to you to decide to do what it takes. If you're intelligent enough to try this avoidance ploy, you're intelligent enough to use what you know to find the goal.

Except that it's not an avoidance ploy, but you are definitely avoiding answering it.

You mentioned sex being among the things we can supply to ourselves via masturbation. My question is: where is the line? There ARE some things (like food and water) that we DO need to be supplied externally. So, where is the line? I don't believe it right now because you can not explain this simple thing. How do you know WHAT is/should be internally supplied vs. what is/should NOT be internally supplied?

The only thing I can think of is death (in the case of food and water), but people can and do die from lack of love as well. In fact, monkey babies who were given plastic mothers in a closed environment died in an experiment despite being given the proper food and nutrition to live healthy lives.

[Shannon]

The way forward is to stop seeking outside yourself for your needs to be met. Find them within you. Master yourself.

What about food? What about shelter? What about water?

Questions like this tell me that you are seeking attention instead of success. It is an easy way to avoid the growth you face that frightens you to face. I can point the way, but I cannot do this for you. You know what you need to know to succeed. Now it's up to you to decide to do what it takes. If you're intelligent enough to try this avoidance ploy, you're intelligent enough to use what you know to find the goal.

Except that it's not an avoidance ploy, but you are definitely avoiding answering it.

You mentioned sex being among the things we can supply to ourselves via masturbation. My question is: where is the line? There ARE some things (like food and water) that we DO need to be supplied externally. So, where is the line? I don't believe it right now because you can not explain this simple thing. How do you know WHAT is/should be internally supplied vs. what is/should NOT be internally supplied?

The only thing I can think of is death (in the case of food and water), but people can and do die from lack of love as well. In fact, monkey babies who were given plastic mothers in a closed environment died in an experiment despite being given the proper food and nutrition to live healthy lives.

You are back to being disrespectful.

It is an avoidance ploy, because I know you have an IQ over 6. Are we talking about food, shelter, water? Are you going to find food, shelter or water within yourself? That's not just an avoidance ploy, it's downright ridiculous. You're looking for anything you can find to disagree, instead of paying attention and trying to use what you've been given to actually make a difference for yourself.

I have answered you with what you need to know. If you don't see it, then you need to start thinking. You're not stupid, but you are stubborn, and you are not interested in solving the problem at the moment. You want to discuss it ad nauseum and you insist on having things your own way in a world that does not work your way. Mental masturbation is a great way to appear to be trying to fix something while you avoid dealing with it. This has been a cycle of activity with you since you showed up here.

You don't need to discuss it anymore. You need to pay attention to what's been said and move forward with it toward your goal. Get on with your life.

Of course, if I know you, what will happen is more disagreement, more discussion, more mental masturbation, more insults, and nothing actually happening.

I'd love it of you proved me wrong, but I don't think you will. I think you want attention, want to be right, and want to be where you are in life. It may not be conscious, but it's there. And until it changes, you will have what you have.

The magical thing about life, though, is... every second of every day, we have another chance to change our lives by changing what we do and choose.

[SargeMaximus]

I'm not trying to insult you Shannon, but I really don't get it. So that's all there is to say I guess.

[GlaizenGold777]

I'm not trying to insult you Shannon, but I really don't get it. So that's all there is to say I guess.

Cooldown Sarge, maybe you need some time before you make your next move.