Pushin' My Luck to the MAX! USLMax 5.5G

[Have at ye]

Well, these new gen Shannon-subs may be making many demands of the nervous system due to their intensity, especially now that fear-removal is in the mix. So mayhap this additional layer of stimulation together with other stimulants is a touch too much. It's why I like Cutting Edge, it hasn't any (not even caffeine) but does what it says on the label anyway and has stuff that's good for the heart and the liver. Haven't used it over the summer, though - maybe it's time to purchase another bottle; winter's coming, the subC may want to put some flab on.

[RTBoss]

Well, these new gen Shannon-subs may be making many demands of the nervous system due to their intensity, especially now that fear-removal is in the mix. So mayhap this additional layer of stimulation together with other stimulants is a touch too much. It's why I like Cutting Edge, it hasn't any (not even caffeine) but does what it says on the label anyway and has stuff that's good for the heart and the liver. Haven't used it over the summer, though - maybe it's time to purchase another bottle; winter's coming, the subC may want to put some flab on.

Green tea, choline, l-carnitine - all good non-stimulant additions. Diuretics I save (if I use them) for when I'm lean enough that it matters. Unfortunately for me, choline sends me into depression. I can't take any form of it. In fact, now that I think about it, I ate a lot of eggs yesterday. I wonder if that contributed...

I take coleus forskholii, as well. That's not a stimulant, raises cAMP, and is a good recompositioning agent.

I tried getting off caffeine completely awhile back to see if I would execute DMSI 3.2 better. It didn't make a difference that I could note. And then I missed my caffeine. I'm just going to try and keep it reigned in, rather than half a pot of coffee, pills, and 3 diet mountain dews in the morning. I bet my caffeine minimum for the day was over 2000 mg.

[RTBoss]

Tonight's the first secondary ASRB break of my USLMax run.

Strange week of ups and downs. Bouts of anger, hostility, sadness, trancing-out, waves of energy, "good luck," "not-so-good-luck," fear surfacing, fear abating, good sex, fights, making up, fun, boredom, joy, apathy and ambivalence...

I want to get back to that place of pure potentiality I had many years ago. I want that innocent, simple joy, hope, and wonder back in life - that extra sparkly sheen to coat every day. I think this week has been jumblin' shit up in my mind to work on that.

On to the next.

[RTBoss]

Switched over to Hybrid FLAC (direct connect from phone to stereo speaker, so no possibility of Bluetooth converting the file).

Volume around -45 db at the source.

Dudes and dudettes - I'm fuckin' miserable!

Tired (sheer mental exhaustion)...anxiety-ridden...apathetic...feelings of hopelessness...

This reminds me of the first few weeks/first month of DMSI 3.1/3.2. There's a bunch of shit I have to go through to get to the good stuff. I'm not going to make any guesses as to what's going on, or what's doing what. I have no idea. Good things have happened since starting USLMax, sure, but I've pretty much felt like shit this week (today being the worst I've felt since starting), save for some bright spots of good mood. It helps when your pets climb onto your lap to snuggle, or your kids give you a hug and tell you they love you.

The 3-day-break was good for me. I started to feel a lot better, had more energy, etc. All that's gone, now. Even my right eyelid is twitching - something that only happens when I am highly stressed. I guess we'll see how things are by weeks end.

[Paul1131]

I understand that. Last week it felt like somebody had taken an eggbeater to my brain. I was sharp as a tack when I needed to be though. I’m going to assume that your going to feel better as you progress.

[RTBoss]

Cautiously optimistic this morning...Feeling better.

Sticking w/ ocean surf hybrid FLAC at a low-moderate volume.

[Have at ye]

Hang in there.

BTW., are you planning on switching to DMSI ver. 3.3 "cold turkey"? Without an extended break, I mean.

[RTBoss]

Hang in there.

BTW., are you planning on switching to DMSI ver. 3.3 "cold turkey"? Without an extended break, I mean.

Thanks, I will.

Depends. If USLMax suddenly feels amazing, and life starts becoming amazing, I may not switch at all. I'd watch to see what's going on with others running 3.3.

Otherwise, I'll either switch w/out taking a break, or switch having taken a shorter break...Say, 12 days or so.

How 'bout you?

[Have at ye]

Most probably switching right away, but I'm bonkers, so not exactly recommending the same to others.

[RTBoss]

I totally forgot to say something about a lucky experience we had Friday night.

Went to see a comedian w/ my wife and in-laws. Took the kids to a sitter, then went to dinner. At dinner, both my in-laws and my wife and I had a Groupon for $30 worth of sushi. We all totally forgot the Groupon rule: Only one coupon per table. The waiter forgot as well. He came back to tell us, and instead of making only one couple use their coupon, he made it so that it appeared we sat at separate tables, and we all got our discount.

Also just wanted to mention, I've had the TV off all morning. Don't know why, it's not the norm. Much less background noise, and I feel much calmer as a result.

[Have at ye]

I totally forgot to say something about a lucky experience we had Friday night.

Went to see a comedian w/ my wife and in-laws. Took the kids to a sitter, then went to dinner. At dinner, both my in-laws and my wife and I had a Groupon for $30 worth of sushi. We all totally forgot the Groupon rule: Only one coupon per table. The waiter forgot as well. He came back to tell us, and instead of making only one couple use their coupon, he made it so that it appeared we sat at separate tables, and we all got our discount.

Also just wanted to mention, I've had the TV off all morning. Don't know why, it's not the norm. Much less background noise, and I feel much calmer as a result.

Interesting about the TV. We've had some elections here yesterday. I am noticing that I am even less affected by the surrounding chatter/noise than usual when it comes to these things.

[RTBoss]

Yesterday, ended up feeling great all day.

Woke this morning, felt okay, and it was downhill from there. The kids drove me nuts, my wife was irritable from the get-go, and that wore on me as well.

I sent her off to a movie, with the agreement I got to go to a movie when she got home. I needed that fuckin' movie, but not even that could go right.

Got there, and it didn't start for 20 minutes past the posted start time. No explanation. Then the movie literally locked up and skipped to the credits right at the damn climax. This movie (Halloween) was something I had looked forward to for a LONG time. Totally ruined it for me. When they got it back, it had skipped ahead from where we left off. Pissed.

I was so pissed, I wasn't going to complain - b/c I can be an asshole when I'm that mad. I just wanted to leave. So on the way out of the theater, I see two ladies talking to a manager. I slow down and eavesdrop, and figure out they got refunds and a coupon to a future movie. Just when I'm about to go speak to him, they're done and the guy walks off at a fast clip. So then I get pissed at myself for not approaching and complaining and getting my money back. By then I was so flustered, I just left. Again - pissed.

Done with this day. It doesn't sound THAT bad, and objectively it's not. It's the shitty emotions and internal stress that has made it complete shit.

Hopefully tomorrow is clear again like yesterday.

[ncbeareatingman]

Yesterday, ended up feeling great all day.

Woke this morning, felt okay, and it was downhill from there. The kids drove me nuts, my wife was irritable from the get-go, and that wore on me as well.

I sent her off to a movie, with the agreement I got to go to a movie when she got home. I needed that fuckin' movie, but not even that could go right.

Got there, and it didn't start for 20 minutes past the posted start time. No explanation. Then the movie literally locked up and skipped to the credits right at the damn climax. This movie (Halloween) was something I had looked forward to for a LONG time. Totally ruined it for me. When they got it back, it had skipped ahead from where we left off. Pissed.

I was so pissed, I wasn't going to complain - b/c I can be an asshole when I'm that mad. I just wanted to leave. So on the way out of the theater, I see two ladies talking to a manager. I slow down and eavesdrop, and figure out they got refunds and a coupon to a future movie. Just when I'm about to go speak to him, they're done and the guy walks off at a fast clip. So then I get pissed at myself for not approaching and complaining and getting my money back. By then I was so flustered, I just left. Again - pissed.

Done with this day. It doesn't sound THAT bad, and objectively it's not. It's the shitty emotions and internal stress that has made it complete shit.

Hopefully tomorrow is clear again like yesterday.

If its ANY consulation,Im going thru some similar shit. so a hug of compassion and respect sent your way,but a Manly Hug,Pal!! Ha ha! Hope ya feel better soon,sincereley. MY day has been one of being 'plugged in' pissed,annoyed and frustrated. Had a better note in the early evening, I've posted my 'stuff' in my journal. sending ya some good/better vibes tonight Ross Man. Keith

[RTBoss]

Better day, here. My wife has been jonesin' for sex, and it's imminent. That's obviously something on my list for living successfully. She's been using innuendos all day, and we got quite handsy earlier - only building that tension. Could also be 3.3 TID, I 'spose. Whatever it is, I'll take it.