01-25-2016, 11:04 AM
Day 22
Progressing still. Stress has been coming up a lot, or rather I'm very aware of it. On one hand I'm sure it was because I was reading about SR and thus noticed how prone to stress I am, and on the other hand it could be resistance. Stressed is not absolutely confident, so it makes sense ASC should help let some of that go too. I'm taking the active measures I can: I bought some theta/alpha binaurals that I'll be listening on most days. One hobby I started is also a lot about relaxing. And then I'm reading into stuff related to bioenergetics and I'm doing the weird mouth-open-hand-up-lean-back stretches Elliot Hulse showed on the video I linked to in the previous post.
I noticed I was very comfortable spending time with my special lady. I guess there's some low-level amount of self-doubt or anxiety/stress that's usually present, because now I noticed its absence. I was very relaxed, secure. And today I was in new group of people, did something stupid that no one else saw, and intentionally announced it called the whole group's attention to it. I was surprised that my eye contact and strong & relaxed, my voice was resonant and I was feeling calm. Then I got a little wary of "am I being too aggressive?", and then thought "how can I be this relaxed, can I?" and then I quickly lost it. I'll sort of have glimpses like this, but then doubt it and its gone. But this is good. Its exactly what my brain needs: new positive reference experiences. I gather enough of these and the mind starts expecting it, and then it's mission accomplished.
Having very violent dreams. Often in the most violent, or most scary, dreams I'll sort of now that its not real: usually I'll think that I'm playing a very realistic video game. Last last I was thinking: "Damn, this game is really, REALLY violent!".
Progressing still. Stress has been coming up a lot, or rather I'm very aware of it. On one hand I'm sure it was because I was reading about SR and thus noticed how prone to stress I am, and on the other hand it could be resistance. Stressed is not absolutely confident, so it makes sense ASC should help let some of that go too. I'm taking the active measures I can: I bought some theta/alpha binaurals that I'll be listening on most days. One hobby I started is also a lot about relaxing. And then I'm reading into stuff related to bioenergetics and I'm doing the weird mouth-open-hand-up-lean-back stretches Elliot Hulse showed on the video I linked to in the previous post.
I noticed I was very comfortable spending time with my special lady. I guess there's some low-level amount of self-doubt or anxiety/stress that's usually present, because now I noticed its absence. I was very relaxed, secure. And today I was in new group of people, did something stupid that no one else saw, and intentionally announced it called the whole group's attention to it. I was surprised that my eye contact and strong & relaxed, my voice was resonant and I was feeling calm. Then I got a little wary of "am I being too aggressive?", and then thought "how can I be this relaxed, can I?" and then I quickly lost it. I'll sort of have glimpses like this, but then doubt it and its gone. But this is good. Its exactly what my brain needs: new positive reference experiences. I gather enough of these and the mind starts expecting it, and then it's mission accomplished.
Having very violent dreams. Often in the most violent, or most scary, dreams I'll sort of now that its not real: usually I'll think that I'm playing a very realistic video game. Last last I was thinking: "Damn, this game is really, REALLY violent!".
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
