Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay

[Jay]

One of the things Alpha male will do is steer you in the direction of only doing those things that support your self respect, self esteem, sense of self worth, pride to be a good man, etc. As that programming begins to take hold, there's a shift from doing what you used to do to doing what is self supporting, and that can sometimes be a turbulent shift as the old self destructive behaviors become incompatible.

Yes Shannon, I'm starting to notice the positive effects from AM as well, and being able to focus more on taking action. I’m starting to reconsider using these current programs from two months to only one and get back on the saddle again with Alpha Male (and keep using Stop and Reverse Hair Loss) after that. I’m glad though that I’ve taken my current decision for using LAY and OSA since it has opened a few doors in the meantime, and I’m able to get more breathing space and perspective/control on what depression really is (read a few books on the subject last two weeks; I can highly recommend “How to lift depression … fast” by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrell) and hopefully being more able to effectively prepare myself now for any negative uprising I may encounter when I start using Alpha Male again.

I’m also starting to think that using Overcoming Social Anxiety and Lover And Appreciate Yourself have been helping me clear of the negative pressure I felt during Alpha Male, and letting the positive effects behind it come to fruition. I’m noticing that I’m making more of a conscious effort on keeping myself healthy, along with being much more goal oriented, instead of procrastinating on a regular basis. And I have spent a lot less time on addictive tendencies lately.

For the last month my usual gaming sessions have declined from about 25 to 7 hours per week, and I’ve been avidly gaming for years now (screw my steam friends lol). This was one big noticeable difference for me. My alcohol consumption has dropped to zero since roughly a month, while I drank almost every other day (not being a heavy drinker though). For the most part I’ve stopped eating things that I regard as junk food (with the exception of pizza), have already been dealing with this for about a year but lacked consistency. Started going to the gym today as well, will keep this a weekly habit for a month and then go at it for 3 times a week. And for about three weeks have steadily taking in a range of different vitamins daily (with the exception of day or 2), also taking plenty of zinc which could be a possible reason for the growth of small downy hair on my bald spots.

Yesterday I’ve also put up a personal curfew to prohibit myself of using my laptop after 20:00, or watch TV (even though I haven’t done that since a few months now), since I could identify it as the main reason for still having terrible sleep patterns (Thanks, Jackie I really needed reminding of that) and works great for enabling depression (perhaps I’ll go into that another time). I’m currently just reading books to fill the time, but am still looking for alternatives to keep me busy in those two hours (my regular sleeping schedule is now 08:00 AM – 22:00 PM).

For the past few days I’ve also implemented writing up my goals for the next day (something I picked up a few years ago from Think and Grow Rich from Napoleon Hill I believe), and even though I started small I haven’t missed a single goal yet, and will continue this daily. It certainly has made me be a lot more productive the last couple of days.

Going to start on doing 7 mirror affirmations that help me with better accepting myself, a couple of personal ones on dealing with my anxiety, and a few directed at the future. No sexy mother****er for the time being . Will start doing morning visualizations again as well.

I’m also seeing the stuff that I read and did (or did not) for the past few years come into alignment, and I’m really seeing a resemblance in my current process (becoming healthy, self-sufficient, dealing with depression, sleep, social anxiety) with how I handled and conditioned myself on stopping smoking (basically seeing the positive from the negative, taking in a lot of information to support the positive, siphoning the good information from the bad and practice until it went right), I just hadn’t had the motivation to properly take action on the matter. I do now.

I just wish that OSA would provide more of an instant reaction, since I'm still hitting walls throughout the day that are pretty unnecessary, oh well.

Yeah, tl;dr I know