02-13-2016, 06:53 PM
Day 15:
I'm having some weird feelings/thoughts regarding my changes. I think it's resistance. My heads having moments like 'this isn't you', 'this won't last, it's too good to be true'. I'm doing well to just not worry too much about those thoughts.
Something really great happened today and I wasn't expecting it at all. I faced a big fear of mine, and handled it really well. Like, it feels surreal that it went as well as it did. I'm not going to go into too much detail but I live with a true alpha male, I thought I'd known alphas until I met this guy. Every time I'd be around him (I mean every time) I would get really nervous and not be able to make eye contact, voice would stutter etc. I ended up dreading every possible encounter with him and tried to avoid him when I could.
Fast forward to today, so I'm out getting a coffee and I have this gut feeling that I need to go home, and as I knew he was home I felt like I needed to just deal with the fear. So I walk in the door and he's there, and we end up having a great conversation. Both of us were laughing, I was able to assert myself and explain certain things well, and for the most part hold good eye contact.
This is BIG for me.
I'm having some weird feelings/thoughts regarding my changes. I think it's resistance. My heads having moments like 'this isn't you', 'this won't last, it's too good to be true'. I'm doing well to just not worry too much about those thoughts.
Something really great happened today and I wasn't expecting it at all. I faced a big fear of mine, and handled it really well. Like, it feels surreal that it went as well as it did. I'm not going to go into too much detail but I live with a true alpha male, I thought I'd known alphas until I met this guy. Every time I'd be around him (I mean every time) I would get really nervous and not be able to make eye contact, voice would stutter etc. I ended up dreading every possible encounter with him and tried to avoid him when I could.
Fast forward to today, so I'm out getting a coffee and I have this gut feeling that I need to go home, and as I knew he was home I felt like I needed to just deal with the fear. So I walk in the door and he's there, and we end up having a great conversation. Both of us were laughing, I was able to assert myself and explain certain things well, and for the most part hold good eye contact.
This is BIG for me.
