Overcoming Fear v4: The Special Case Files

[StridingStrider]

Alright so I ran four loops last night as instructed for the special case scenario.

I'm 31 with avoidant personality disorder all my life really.

Today was the last day of term for a school I apprentice at.

We had a number of events where we said good bye to the students and staff that were leaving and moving on. I felt very moved throughout.

Two events that transpired today caught my attention. Both were with staff members I had anxiety with.

One was with a older women who needed help with a laptop situation who said that if I could help her she'd give me a kiss in a jovial manner. I ended up getting a sweet kiss from her on the cheek which I very much appreciated as I haven't received much physical love all my life. At the end of the day I returned the gesture, without much commotion. This was all very unusual as before I would of been more reticent.

Another scenario is that I messaged a girl at work who I'd been on bad terms with due to my own insecurities. It had been on my mind to apologize to her but we've had a back and forth negative exchange as I pushed her away from me when she joined because I guess I found her attractive and she hasn't forgiven me for it despite the show she puts on when she's around me. Well I've changed that and messaged her offering my apology for how I've treated her. It wasn't in person as I'd of preferred but I reckon it's better then waiting another 6 weeks to see her.

Why did all this happen today? Maybe it was the last day, everyone's feeling the emotion and events conspired to make it happen. I don't know. But I feel like OFv4 has helped me be more open and loving to people.

[StridingStrider]

Starting Cycle #2 tonight.

First cycle was overall pretty good. Started off stronger and got weaker as the off days went on. Still felt better then base line though.

I'm not having any urges to change the format so far so I'm sticking with it. The only thing I'm thinking about is using earphones instead of the phone speakers.

I'm having shifts in my mind-set from lack to abundance. YouTube videos have helped but I thought I'd mention it. Wes Watson (look him up) is a cool guy.

Nothing major happening but it's just the start. Looking forward to the future.

EDIT: Forgot to mention I'm having some pretty good dreams relating to fear! I love dreaming.

[ncbeareatingman]

Starting Cycle #2 tonight.

First cycle was overall pretty good. Started off stronger and got weaker as the off days went on. Still felt better then base line though.

I'm not having any urges to change the format so far so I'm sticking with it. The only thing I'm thinking about is using earphones instead of the phone speakers.

I'm having shifts in my mind-set from lack to abundance. YouTube videos have helped but I thought I'd mention it. Wes Watson (look him up) is a cool guy.

Nothing major happening but it's just the start. Looking forward to the future.

EDIT: Forgot to mention I'm having some pretty good dreams relating to fear! I love dreaming.

 Hey Strider Glider in your dreams:-) hows it going Man?  really like your journal postings on OFv4. I just bought me self a little while ago and AM downloading them now... so thankful for it. I Love dreaming too and had this long long dream last night... sicne Ive committed to using OFv4 all kindsa TID stuff has been 'jumping' off. I also  got myself today among other digital mandala's  dream guide and Pathfinder  "Vevsir" the Viking way pointer that been updated for modern times as well to help me further on my journey of love,money and  living  in a deeper higher way.
 All the best Man.... may this program OFv4 continue to serve you well.... stay groovy,stay free!!

Flying in a blue dream.... Joe Satriani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SINl5JY7...Mrwinker32

[StridingStrider]

Starting Cycle #2 tonight.

First cycle was overall pretty good. Started off stronger and got weaker as the off days went on. Still felt better then base line though.

I'm not having any urges to change the format so far so I'm sticking with it. The only thing I'm thinking about is using earphones instead of the phone speakers.

I'm having shifts in my mind-set from lack to abundance. YouTube videos have helped but I thought I'd mention it. Wes Watson (look him up) is a cool guy.

Nothing major happening but it's just the start. Looking forward to the future.

EDIT: Forgot to mention I'm having some pretty good dreams relating to fear! I love dreaming.

Hey Strider Glider in your dreams:-) hows it going Man?  really like your journal postings on OFv4. I just bought me self a little while ago and AM downloading them now... so thankful for it. I Love dreaming too and had this long long dream last night... sicne Ive committed to using OFv4 all kindsa YID stuff has been 'jumping' off. I also  got myself today among other digital mandala's  dream guide and Pathfinder  "Vevsir" the Viking way pointer that been updated for modern times as well to help me further on my journey of love,money and  living  in a deeper higher way.
 All the best Man.... may this prgram OFv4 continue to serve you well.... stay groovy,stay free!!

Flying in a blue dream.... Joe Satriani
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SINl5JY7...Mrwinker32

Hey Keith,

Thanks for your kind comments. I think you'll enjoy OF like me. Hopefully we can both bust free from this illusive BS! Dreams are cool. I've heard it's a form of astral travel which doesn't require conscious effort.

Cycle #2 Day #1

Today started off rough. I've been feeling a strong longing for the girl at work, probably from insecurity, wondering if I should ask her out. But, I know that my attraction to her is stronger then her attraction to me, and I don't think she took the apology in the way I was hoping. Add to that she's a single mom and I'm not sure that's what I really want in my life.

Thankfully, it's mostly over now after I'm feeling better. Ate a lot of ice cream and consumed a lot of coffee during the process, which are two vices I'm trying to quit. Well, I chucked the rest of the ice cream and coffee to boot. Back on clean street.

I do wonder if it's feedback from the change in mind-set I mentioned earlier. Like recoil if that's the right word? It started yesterday but I managed to disconnect from it. Today it was a lot stronger. Weird.

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #2 Day #2

Just occurred to me all this self doubt and worry I've been experiencing is probably resistance. I'll be following Chris and probably dropping a day off either this cycle or the next. The volume also seems a bit low... and I don't think wearing ear phones helped at all. We shall see...

Speaking of resistance; I've also been nervously smiling, which is a sure sign of stress/anxiety for me. Damn, fear is a tough nut to crack!

[StridingStrider]

Finished Cycle #2, ending it a day early.

Had a dream last night relating to feces. Dream have been a strong showing on v4 so far. I've releasing tears a lot more I've noticed. Probably started with TID a month or so before running OF. I've been pretty emotional in general. Reading Rumi brings me to tears, whereas a couple of years ago it wouldn't have. Is this a sign of emotional healing?

Work girl has been playing on my mind a lot too. I've been imagining positive outcomes and feeling loving energy. Is this unhealthy? Probably. But it does invoke tears in me so perhaps it's a good thing?

Cycle #3 begins tonight. I'm now reducing the off days to 3 and keeping the volume at the same level. Hopefully this'll help to program to execute better.

[Frosted]

Finished Cycle #2, ending it a day early.

Had a dream last night relating to feces. Dream have been a strong showing on v4 so far. I've releasing tears a lot more I've noticed. Probably started with TID a month or so before running OF. I've been pretty emotional in general. Reading Rumi brings me to tears, whereas a couple of years ago it wouldn't have. Is this a sign of emotional healing?

Work girl has been playing on my mind a lot too. I've been imagining positive outcomes and feeling loving energy. Is this unhealthy? Probably. But it does invoke tears in me so perhaps it's a good thing?

Cycle #3 begins tonight. I'm now reducing the off days to 3 and keeping the volume at the same level. Hopefully this'll help to program to execute better.

For me as a child I was made fun of for crying so eventually I blocked myself from crying. Part of my block is certainly fear of being ridiculed by others. I’ve noticed recently it’s easier to cry/let my eyes get watery instead of trying to blink it away all the time. Maybe you also have something like this?

[StridingStrider]

Finished Cycle #2, ending it a day early.

Had a dream last night relating to feces. Dream have been a strong showing on v4 so far. I've releasing tears a lot more I've noticed. Probably started with TID a month or so before running OF. I've been pretty emotional in general. Reading Rumi brings me to tears, whereas a couple of years ago it wouldn't have. Is this a sign of emotional healing?

Work girl has been playing on my mind a lot too. I've been imagining positive outcomes and feeling loving energy. Is this unhealthy? Probably. But it does invoke tears in me so perhaps it's a good thing?

Cycle #3 begins tonight. I'm now reducing the off days to 3 and keeping the volume at the same level. Hopefully this'll help to program to execute better.

For me as a child I was made fun of for crying so eventually I blocked myself from crying. Part of my block is certainly fear of being ridiculed by others. I’ve noticed recently it’s easier to cry/let my eyes get watery instead of trying to blink it away all the time. Maybe you also have something like this?

Yeah. I had an unhealthy association with emotions. I was attracted to stoicism early on because of it's connotation with blocking them out. I remember as a boy beating my chest to stop myself from crying. Big boys don't cry and all that. There's a kernal of truth in it, but only later do I realise how destructive that behaviour was for my emotional health. Glad I wasn't the only one. I think you're making progress like me. Keep it up.

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #3 Day #1

So today started off well, but I became increasingly anxious throughout the day. While listening to the subliminal, I felt confident and like I could do anything. Then eventually I went out and the anxiety started. If this continues, I'll continue to reduce the off days down to 2.

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #3 Day #2

Noticing I'm getting itching spots on my body. This could be a coincidence and something is biting me or I wonder if it's a fear response.

Been feeling so so today. Still nervously smiling. I intend to decrease the off days to two.

Otherwise, nice dreams again last night. Bravo Shannon I like this new approach.

EDIT: Also I wonder if OF has some sort of manifestation goal in it. I got a message out of nowhere on a dating website and a guy started talking to me randomly as I got on the bus. Strange...

[ncbeareatingman]

Hye Strider...I've been getting these little itcy bumps right under the out part of my right underarm. granted it is mucho hot here and the humidity levels have been really high here in the south. However I'd not had these before starting OFv4. if this is indeed the case,then its showing to me signs of progress.

The heat and the journey continues :-) yeah some interesting dreams here as well.
More power to ya StridingStrider and thanks for keepin your post up. I think were all helping and benefiting each other by our journals as well travel with the OFv4 engine!!

[Z-Man]

Hey Guy's maybe this is FEAR trying to escape the body. Fear is a bitch! Sorry it inching so bad, they don't have fear cream. But we have the force, the power of OF v4 to kick it's ass.....

Strider..wear that smile proudly, you deserve it....

Let the journey continue...

[StridingStrider]

Cycle #3 Day 3

Interestingly, I'm getting more of them. This wasn't the case before OF4. I'm pretty certain it's a symptom of fear, but I'll remain open minded. Curious never the less.

Feeling better today. Had a nice dream. I'm noticing a pattern where they'll involve some sort of fear I have but the outcome is always positive. Very satisfying experience.

[Sky]

Cycle #3 Day 3

Interestingly, I'm getting more of them. This wasn't the case before OF4. I'm pretty certain it's a symptom of fear, but I'll remain open minded. Curious never the less.

Feeling better today. Had a nice dream. I'm noticing a pattern where they'll involve some sort of fear I have but the outcome is always positive. Very satisfying experience.

I agree, I feel better after having the dreams. i've been dreaming everyday since using OFv4. This is nothing like OFv3, it's much better.