Overcome Fear, Guilt, and Shame

[mat422]

When I discovered and experienced the very thing you speak of I felt awakened (like omg things are getting interesting). Once it became my new way of thinking I was that much closer to freedom. It took some time for integration but I got there and you will too.

Thanks Spiral. It's small shifts like this that fill me with energy to keep going. It really is like freedom, it's amazing when you realize things don't have to be a certain way if you don't want them to.
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In other news I realized I've been playing the ultrasonic subliminal too loud. After listening to the masked subliminal I realized that the anxiety I felt from the ultrasonic wasn't resistance or an emotional response to the suggestions, but just a result of it being too loud. You'd think I would have learned from my mistakes by now, but I guess not. Anyway, I readjusted the volume and everything is all better now. Either I really don't know what a "comfortable listening volume" is for the stream track or I'm just sensitive to the ultrasonics. No use worrying about the details though.

And what really made me realize that I should adjust the volume of the ultrasonic was an experience I had with compact fluorescent light bulbs. From an article I read about these things.

He tested two low energy bulbs; U-shaped and coiled. The U-shaped bulb emitted at a fundamental frequency of 27 kHz and a coiled type at 37 kHz. Both had strong acoustic signals at the second harmonics (54 kHz and 74 kHz, respectively) and appreciable signals at the third harmonics (81 kHz and 11.1 kHz), he wrote.

It took me a while to realize that every time I was in my room with these light bulbs on I was overcome with feelings of anxiety and to some degree a little nausea. I realized that it was a similar effect to the ultrasonic when I listened to it. It was at that point I realized it wasn't the subliminals suggestions causing those feelings, but rather the volume of it.

Anyway I ditched those light bulbs about a week ago and I've noticed I have way more energy and I'm not plagued by the same chronic fatigue I once was. My depression has improved significantly, I couldn't believe just how much those light bulbs affected my health. I had my suspicions in the past, but I always waved it off as me being paranoid. Oh yeah, also fewer migraine headaches. Ridiculous how there is no warning about these things.

My theory is that it produced a lot of stress, so more cortisol, then eventually adrenal fatigue. So maybe now that I've lowered the subliminal I'll notice some improvement too. Having the subliminal too loud must have had some impact in my sleep leading to feelings of more fatigue.